And now i'm wanted and loved....

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
An amish mother forced to decide difficult fate for her unwanted child and her..

Submitted: April 13, 2007

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Submitted: April 13, 2007




As my daughter Kali and I unpack boxes in our attic, I also find many treasures among them my diary. My diary has some of the toughest days I ever went through in my whole life. As I look back into the past I see I have come along way since I was a single seventeen year old Amish mother. I can still see the shame on my parents face when they found out that awful day in April when I told them  I was pregnant. I remember it like it happened yesterday. 


April 1, 1959

5:03 pm


Outcast. Failure. Disappointment.  That's what I am. I became pregnant with an American's child. You see I am an Amish woman who made a huge mistake. Instead of saying "no" I went along. I have two choices: run away or have my baby and me be shunned forever. If only I had said no I wouldn't be in this position.  Now I must go make dinner for my baby and me.


April 1, 1959

5:58 pm


 I've decided to run away. I would rather be dead than to be shunned. I figure if I leave at midnight, no one will see me, though if they do see me they won't stop me. The Amish way of life is much different than the Americans live. No one will stop there child from running away or no controversy on which faith everyone should belong to. That's what eat at Americans being all the same and livieng a simple lives. Anyway after I leave I figure I will walk on the only road into our Amish community. We are so humble that are town is not on a map let alone a name. I will take my twenty dollars from my birthday for food.


April 1, 1959

11:55 pm


 Its five minutes till midnight. I plan to slip down the stairs and out the door, start walking to my freedom.


April 1, 1959

12:13 pm

I successfully made it out of my Amish home. Thank goodness the baby isn't very big yet or this escape would have been really difficult. All I can see is darkness. I can't see a foot ahead of me. Just my luck the moon and stars are covered by clouds. Am I dreaming or do I see a light about a mile ahead? It is! Is it Amish or American? I've only been walking for forty-five minutes. As I get closer I see it is a lantern in the window which makes it an Amish house. It happens to be my former friend Mary Doths' house. Mary is a goody two shoe in front of all the adults and our teacher Mrs. Hoover. The Doths have a watchdog named Spot. His name is Spot because he has one huge spot on his right eye. I hope he doesn't start barking at me as I walk past.


April 1, 1959

1:00 am


Thank goodness he didn't bark though he did give me a slobbery kiss on the cheek. As the light fades behind me something ahead moves. I hear twigs snapping and snow begins to fall. I hug my shawl close to me to keep myself warm.


As I near the bridge I see a woman with long hair sitting there. She has a gloomy expression on her face while staring at the river. As I near her she looks up and asks me what I am doing. I sit down next to her and begin to tell her my plan. When I am finished she asked me whose baby I am carrying. I told her every last detail of my life till I switch the subject to her. I ask if she to is Amish or American? She says Amish. She too was shunned and ran away six months ago. Though she didn't have a baby with which made me curious? I asked her were her baby was and she said it died in a blizzard in her arms. She told me he was buried on the river bank and his name was John. I asked her what her name was and she said Lucy Burton. "What's yours?" Asked Lucy. "Angie Winninghoff" I said shyly. "So are you going to live under this bridge forever?" I asked. "No, I was wonder if I could join you on your journey; you know I am very lonesome all by me would like to start over in an American city. That's what they call a big town in America." I tell her to gather her belongings because we want to get as soon as possible. She crawls under the bridge and brings up a cloth bag. Then we begin to walk.


April 2, 1959

8:00 am


The sun is up and we are still walking and looking for some where to find help. In the distance Lucy sees a house and children out side. And now i'm finally wanted and loved.......



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