Am I too busy for people? I noticed the past couple weeks I managed to spend time with someone almost every single day. I even managed to get a night off to go out and do something that I have never done. Maybe because the effort was mutual. It was both a give or take, I’m not too sure. Some days I sit and wonder how I got myself in this situation. I remember the days where I’d stay home for 4 days straight and work the next 3 days with only 6 hours a day. How did I manage to get by like that. How did my bills get so crazy. Is it because I turned 21 and now I go out more and buy drinks? Sometimes I even think I stay busy so I don’t have to think about what really goes on in my head. I realized that whenever I have my heartbroken for whatever reason, boy related and non-boy related, I get over things SUPER fast. WHY? Maybe because I stay busy, maybe not. I do have a bad memory, and I know I always learn from my mistakes and after try and forget. “
I remember doing something ridiculously embarrassing at work.. but then again what’s new? I said ” and I WONDER WHY IM SINGLE!” and my coworker laughed and told me “I think its because you’re too picky” paused and then added “as you should be.” You can tell the as you should be was kind of added because what he said could of been a little insulting. Although I didn’t take it that way, but made me curious if he was right. I’ve heard this multiple times, and I’ve also heard ” you’re just too busy for anyone.” I wish I knew if this was true. If I really was just too picky or too busy.
one more thought of the night.
I push away any guys I like. It’s something I’ve always been good at. It always turns out that I made the right choice.
think like a man, so you don’t get played like a bitch.
and sometimes it’s not the guys intentions to hurt you. Maybe that’s why I’m picky.
I wish I knew. I wish I knew what’s wrong with me. Things might not be how I wanted them to be. but one think I do know.
When I put my hand over my heart. It beats. And that’s the biggest blessing of them all. So what if I’m not blessed with all my answers, but in time, I hope I’ll finally get the answers to all my questions and wonders.
Ending my monday with these thoughts. goodnight <3
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