Attraction becomes love and love becomes pain

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Attraction becomes love and love becomes pain

Submitted: January 12, 2014

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Submitted: January 12, 2014

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It was the month of August.The Day was cloudy & the time was around 5pm.On a beautiful rainy evening,i was talking with my friend in front of the Basic Electrical Lab of our college.We were discussing about something & suddenly something happened to me.i really cant understand what was that.It was like u can feel something  extremely deep but cant express that.The temperature of my body was  going down & Everything around me just paused for a moment.I saw a girl in  formal college dress.Her hair was straightened & highlighted,Shirt untagged & She was going with her friends.So I just looked her from the side & she was going to the Xerox centre.I told my friend to hurry up and leave as soon as possible. so i took my bike and wait outside the Xerox centre.My friend was asking me what happened? I really don’t know what was happening to me.I was just waiting for her to come outside so that i can see her again.Then after 4-5 minutes she came outside with her friend and they were talking about  funny things & she was laughing.I will never ever forget that smile,thats how beautiful her smile is.But she had gone once again & i can’t even say “excuse me” to her.All the moment i was watching her.My mouth was open & my eyes were still and blank.So just like previous time i followed her & she has gone inside of the hostel.There was a friend of mine standing outside of the hostel.So i asked her,what is her name?She replied her name is “Maanvika”.The next day i thought of talking to her,but thinking at yesterdays result i told one of our super senior that if u see her just call her,Then i will talk to her.But all the things went wrong.We were doing our regular adda at the kaka’s tea shop outside the college.When she came outside,Suprakash da gently asked her “come here”.She just yelled at him & rudely said “We are not allowed to give intros outside the college campus” & Then she walked with her friends into the hostel.We all were shocked.Who is she? Where does this attitude came from?Everyone is very angry to her,because she didn’t respect a super senior.The next day i was waiting for her at the exact same place,but this time not to say hello.This time to teach her that how to respect your senior.When she came outside, one of my friend called her nicely saying “excuse me”,She stops & said Yes.My friend indicates his finger to me & she comes near me.Beleive me or not i wanted to teach her a lesson but i really can’t.i don’t know why,but i really cant stop looking at those eyes of  her.I told her gently what were her mistakes in previous day.Then i asked her that if she have any facebook account.She said yeah & then i told her i will send u a friend request,go and accept it.She said ok & left.Two days gone & she didn’t accept my friend request yet.I thought i should go & tell her again.So i told her that “why didn’t u accept my friend request?”She said i don’t usually accept friend req from lesser mutual friends.I said go and accept it(threatening voice),Then i will talk to you.I know that she was afraid of me for this behaviour.The next day when she accepted my friend request, it was like a big moment of joy for me.Even i dance with my Sister after that.So it all begins with fb,first 1-2 days she did’nt replied & when she starts replying me it was just “Yes” & “No” .Then after somedays our conversation went well.Even after 1-2 weeks i thought we were friends,but i don’t know that she didn’t accept me as a friend.At the same time some guys complaining to me about her that she is not a good girl.She has bad attitude problem & had a bad behaviour,which i totally in love with.The day was 29th September 2013. I really don’t know what happened to me that day,not particularly that day,ever since i saw her i’ve completely gone mad.Even though i broke up my 1 year relationship with Ayushi.The girl, who loved me more than herself.Thats another case.Anyway That was the Hostel freshers function night.On that day from Morning to Evening I have gone to the hostel more than 10 times.But i always came back with empty handed.I didn’t see her for once.So at the night i decided to tell her my feelings for her.How beautiful is the feelings i had just when i see her,How beautiful the day goes if i see her just once,how good i feel when i see her coming towards me,how good i feel when she talked to me.Knowing the fact that she will say ‘No’,i’ve decided to tell her & I did.At Night,I don’t really remember the exact time.I texted her expressing my feelings for her.She didn’t replied.So i called her & when she picked up the phone i don’t know what happen to me i disconnect the line.Actually i thought i was expecting a ‘No’,but i just cant hear it from her.So the next day after proposing her we didn’t talk & then a day after we talked in fb normally.Some days later i bring that topic.She avoid it,but i insist & she told me that “I saw u as a senior and as a friends.I really don’t like u in that way”.My heart was really broken that time,i know this was gonna happen.But hearing that i remember i didn’t get out from my room that night.Some days later,we have forgot that incident & we talked like normal friends.When one of her friend Manith texted me saying  “Maanvika was telling me yesterday  that ‘Ami akhon 1st year e achi bole amai like korche,abar next year e jokhon notun first year asbe tokhon kauke like korbena er gurantee ki?”.I was really upset after hearing that from Manith.I was drunked & thinking about those words.While thinking about it i ate bunch of sleeping pills.Then I wake up at the Nursing home.Two days from my life deleted.Mom & Dad was really Upset about it.It was before Durga Puja.So somehow the enjoyment of Durga puja recovered it well.Everybody have forgotten that incident & After the puja she has gone to the Andaman gor a vacation.So i wished her a happy jouney & waited for her when she was gonna coming so i can see her.I didn’t see her for a long time.so i was eagerly waiting for the college to open after the puja vacation just to see her.The college was opened after the puja vacation and my waiting was over. I remember how happy & excited I was just to see her for once.During the vacation I told one of her friend Deepika to hangout with me & my friends.So on a bright sunny day me and one of my friend has gone to hanging out with her friends.She also came to hangout with us.I will never forget that day,because that was the first & last time we spent together.We really did enjoy on that day.So after that afternoon we spent really odd things was happening to us.Many big misunderstandings happened.I don’t wanna bring those,but i can surely tell you that because of those things our relationship is in graveyard right now.Oh i forgot to tell you something.After that time when We spent together i asked  her on a date.I thought i waited long enough for that,so i asked her & She says ‘No’ just like before.She told me that she don’t  go with any boy alone.When I asked her for this the time was 4.30 pm,when i’m standing outside the ladies hostel.I told her that if she was not gonna say yes to me,i am not going to leave from here.So i stand there and waiting for her to say yes.I didn’t texted her after 5pm,I stand there wearing the same jeans & shirts.As night grows the cold grows & it was really freezing out there.But i promised myself earlier that however i will wait 8 hours,till i call her.At 10.50 she texted me saying “Akhono ki dariye”.I replied “Ha bolechi jokhon tokhon darate toh hobei”.Then she told me whatever you do its a no from me.I told her “Tui jotokhon amake ha bolbi na,ami totokhon okhane dariye thakbo.parle sararat dariye thakbo,tate amar nimunia hoye jak tateo amar apotti nei”.Even she told me that night that She likes another guy,so i have to forget about her.I said it was impossible.After a long conversation she told me “toke amar kasam tui chole ja”.That is when i stopped.So i have to go that night.The next day i had a 103 degrees fever.I called her,she kept telling me one thing “amake bhule ja”.But i did kept my patience & waited for her that someday she will understand my feelings & will like me.But i didn’t know these created fear in her mind.So some days later when i keep telling her that I love her & telling her my feelings about her she felt disturbed.She decided not to talk to me,but i keep pushing her thinking that she will understand me.The semester was over & we don’t talk too much at that time.It was 25th of December,when i’m in Digha with my friends i called her at 7pm and told her that “Do u know that i love you”.She replied “Tate ami ki korte pari” & Told me “amar tomar sathe kotha bolte bhalo lage na”.Then she disconnects my call.I really don’t know what happened,why she told me that.I thought she needs time.Then i didn’t called her or texted her for one week.31st December,2013 I was really sad from the beginning of that day.Because tomorrow is the beginning of a new year and yet we didn’t sort out our problems.I haven’t talked with her in weeks.So i had planned to give her a surprise & the surprise was i am going to her house that night wishing her a happy new year.She lives in Santoshpur,near Jadavpur.So in the evening at 5.30pm I started my journey.It was 62 km journey from Kanchrapara to Santoshpur & When i get there the time was 10.15 pm.She got a really sweet house.There was a balcony on her ground floor.I looked in the house if i can she her.I can’t call her then,because I wished to tell her at the time of 12 am.There was a small masjid outside her house.I waited  in the staircase of the masjid for two hours & when 2014 comes,I called her.I called her from an unknown no.She picks the called saying “who’s this”.I told her that “I’m Avirup,Happy new year”She suddenly disconnect the line.I couldn’t tell her that i’m outside your house.Then i called twice from my no.But she keep disconnecting My phone.So I texted her telling that “I came to say sorry to you for my faults.I’m outside your house waiting for you.If u r not giving an answer i’m not gonna go.”Some time later i realised that shes not gonna answer me.So i decided to leave the red roses i had brought for  her in front of her gate.I send a text to her before leaving  “Ami chollam Parle vebe dekhis”,but i was really upset when i was leaving.After leaving santoshpur,i don’t know where to go at that time.So i came to a crowded bar  in Esplanade.I was sitting there alone & thinking about all the incident happen that day.After leaving the bar i decided to came back to my house.While coming back i was really angry at her. So from that moment i decided that i’m not going to talk with her.While coming back to my place i hold my mind,and consoles myself whatever happens,i’m not going to talk with her.if she has a fellings for me or if she’s ever gonna realise that what she did to me then she will talk to me..Why i am gonna sacrifice everything all the time.On 1st January,2014 I send her a text telling i’m not going to disturb you from now on & It’s 8th January,2014,the hard times are over.I moved on & now I feel really happy with my life.


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