WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is just a poem about the time that has been spent together by a couple happily,but due to some reasons they are not together now,unfortunately.

WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER


When we were together,
i needed you to breathe through.
When we were together,
i needed your hands to walk the streets.
When we were together,
i needed your eyes to peep into the strange world.



When we were together,
i needed your shoulders to be rested upon.
When we were together,
i needed you to take the decisions for me.
When we were together,
i needed your lips to speak for me.
When we aren't together,
i need your heart to love you.




But now when we are not together,
still i need your hands to wave it while i go forever.
We are not together,
now i need your eyes to cry after my demise.
We are not together,
now i need your strong shoulders to take me off this earth.
We are not together,
now i need your lips to say the final good bye.
We are not together,
finally ,I NEED YOUR HEART FOREVER.


Submitted: April 18, 2011

© Copyright 2021 AWESOME ASHMITA. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Darkie

Very touching:X

Wed, April 20th, 2011 7:13am

Author
Reply

t,h,a,n,k, y,,o,,u

Tue, May 24th, 2011 5:43am

arun

The transformation of flow, like a crescendo, is really great. First it starts slowly giving the reader the picture of happy times, then it gains its pace and in the mid-way when the 'together' becomes 'not together', it is fully amplified, and when it ends, it was just wow! The touching end is very nice.

And, when you said 'peep into strange world', I just wondered for a moment why you used such an expression and was thinking of the reason. Maybe it is too difficult for me to even guess lol:)
And I learned why you suggested me to use 'iconic words'.
Thanks for your support.
All the best.
Keep writing.

Wed, May 25th, 2011 5:42am

Author
Reply

i thnk we are nw pen friends and in friendship no sorry, so thnkx, u cant insult anybody s frndshp lyk by saying thnkx and all ,

Tue, May 24th, 2011 11:07pm

Hetty Burchill

Your poem flows from love to heartache perfectly. Well done :) Keep writing - Hetty

Mon, June 27th, 2011 12:12pm

Author
Reply

hey thnkx

Mon, June 27th, 2011 5:19am

pummy

great dear... tobe ami bujhte parchi apnar personal connection ta ei poem tar songe...tai bolchi... i kno egulo bhola sahoj ny bt jai hok u r never promised a second chance.... tai live life king size... n sobsamay hashbi... ds thing really works re...

Sun, July 17th, 2011 1:57pm

Author
Reply

thnkx pum,i gt ur point

Sun, July 17th, 2011 7:13am

neena731

Simply Lovely

Tue, July 19th, 2011 5:14pm

Author
Reply

thnx

Tue, July 19th, 2011 10:15am

Katherinanne

One of my favourite poems!!

Wed, July 20th, 2011 3:45pm

Author
Reply

omg, thnk u so much dear,,,kmu abt u

Thu, July 21st, 2011 12:02am

Aaliyaah

wonderful

Thu, July 21st, 2011 8:52pm

Author
Reply

thnkx

Fri, July 22nd, 2011 4:21am

headoverheels91

It's very beautiful and the closing line was awesome :)

Fri, July 22nd, 2011 11:53am

Author
Reply

thnkx

Fri, July 22nd, 2011 5:05am

kelso1613

I love this, it's so sad :( But beautiful! Keep it up darling! xo

Sat, August 6th, 2011 3:37pm

Author
Reply

thnkx chao chao

Sat, August 6th, 2011 10:18am

Laila Alexander

My eyes did water, my dear awesome Ashmita. They did. I just love how they lived through and off each other. I love the final line, also.
You are going great :)

Fri, August 31st, 2012 11:19am

Author
Reply

thnx dea

Sun, September 2nd, 2012 11:09pm

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