For Twihard fans

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
It is all about twilight. HOttie edward and the blood thirsty vampires blah blah blah.Comment and read thanx

Submitted: December 20, 2009

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Submitted: December 20, 2009

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Edward cullen how is do i explain him.

Things I hate about himBeing clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.

She can't do anything without Edward.

And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.

Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.

The books aren't well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn't make it good writing.

All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series.

Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.

The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he'll never come.

Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.

Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it's natural to them.

The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.

If Bella is so 'plain', why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?

Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.

Isn't it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn't question her? Real parents aren't that way.

Lack of character development.

Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.

People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.

Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.
It's too cliché.

This book contains no real sex, so it's not really a vampire novel.

Read Anne Rice - those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.

You don't have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward's 'perfectly toned chest' the fourth time she mentions it.

Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. Hey Meyer, ever heard of "Show, don't tell"?

She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it's supposedly about vampire.

Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.

Supposedly Meyer never uses the word 'said' in the entire first book, instead using breath.

There is too much face touching.

It's predictable, and childish.

We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.

Meyer can't think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn't count.

Vampires can't get people pregnant. SPOILER!

Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.

People think Meyer is the best writer ever.

The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.

Wow, yet another 'original' plot of forbidden love.

Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?

It's too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?

They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.

Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them no development.

Every Other Facebook bumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.

Fangirls are so blinded by their love for Edward that they don't realize the book is terrible.

Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can't write 'worth a darn'.

It's stupid.

Bella.

Bella is Edward's beard.

Meyer wrote four books about nothing, really.

Straight men sparkle?

It's teeming with grammatical errors.

Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.

Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.

Do any guys actually like Twilight?

If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character's identity, don't slap "First, Edward was a vampire" on the back cover.

There's far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.

They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.

100 ways to annoy edward

100 ways to annoy Edward Cullen
1. Tell him Bella has decided to marry Jacob
2. Tell him you saw Mike Newton romancing Bella on one of thse days he went *camping
3. Imagine him naked while following him around
4. Prance around the house singing Madonna's 'Like a virgin' at the top of your lungs every morning, make sure Bella is around to hear
5. Running it by Charlie that Edward has been 'sleeping' with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.
6. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob
7. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he's thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it's just you.
8. Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul
9. For his birthday give him a $100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn't eat food.
10. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.
11. Take him to Victoria's Secret with Alice.
12. Take him onto The Jeremy Kyle show. Make sure everyone knows he addicted to heroin.
13. Tell him you have Bella as a witness if he denies it.
14. Picture yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you. Call him a liar when he says no.
15. Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton.
16. Tell him you were kidding once he murders Mike.
17. Buy him a dog. Name it Jacob.
18. Train the dog to follow him everywhere
19. Tell him Jacob thinks he's a sex god.
20. Tell him Jane thinks he's better than a sex god.
21. Ask him if when its sunny he walks in high trafic areas just for fun.
22. Ask him how he got into bella's floor boards without leaving any evidence.
23. Sell Jacob his car for five dollars.
24. Pretend you don't know where the car went and show him the five dollars saying it was left on his porch.
25. Ask him to dress up as Dracula and fight with Jacob in his wolf form.
26. Invite people over to his house and trash it.
27. Tell Esme and Carlisle it was Edwards idea.
28. Try to seel his bed on ebay
29. If he asks where it's gone ask him why he need a bed anyway
30. Try to sell his Cd's on ebay.
31. If he asks where they went say Jacob stole them.
32. Try to take his pulse and freak out when you can't find one
33. Make a lifelike Bella dummy (with Bella audio) and throw it into a fire.
34. Volunteer him for a blood drive.
35. Give him a divorce atterny card and say, "Just in case."
36. Force him to watch the 40-Year-Old Virgin with you. Send him accusational glares at random throughout the film.
37. Lock his phone after you set Me So Horny by Two Live Crew as the ringtone and then call him over and over and over again in public. (for those of you that don't know the song, there's awful loud moaning sounds while they chant me so horny over and over again.)
38.Get a shock collar with sequins on it and have Emmett put it on Edward. Give Jacob the remote.
39. Every time he walks near you jump in front of the nearest car and scream "Save me Edward!"
40. Challenge him to a breath holding contest and accuse him of cheating.
41. Blindfold him and take him to a tanning salon.
42. Jump out of corners and proceed to beating him with large planks of wood every ten minutes
43. Sit in his room and stare at him for hours.
44. When he demands why you're staring at him tell him that you're not leaving until he falls asleep.
45. When he tells you he can't sleep, threaten that Santa won't come if he stays awake.
46. Paint his Volvo pink and write “I love Jacob” all over it
47. Sing "It’s a Small World" over and over in your head and follow him around
48. Give his number to Jessica and tell her, he’s interested
49.Ask him about Bella’s eighteenth birthday party
50. Just think of the color black when he's around so he thinks he can't read your mind either.
51. Refer to him as "Eddie".
52. Prank call him saying you have kidnapped Bella and will only accept his volvo as ransom.
53. Sing 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves' in your head continually, over and over again, he'll go insane in less then three hours guarenteed
54. Come to school wearing dark robes, red/black contacts, and white makeup. Go up to Edward. Claim to be from the Volturi, and ask him where Bella is.
55. Get Carlisle to have "The Talk" with him.
56. Torch his meadow.
57. Run around the school with flyers that say "Save the Mountain Lion!"
58. Set the banner on Bella's cellphone to I love Jacob.
59. Do the same thing to his.
60. Say, "Oh you and Bella looked so cute at the movies yesterday" and when he says that they never went to the movies say, "Oh, but I'm sure it was Bella, and she was all over that other guy."
61. Tell him Darth Vader is his father
62. Run around the school shouting, 'EDWARD CULLEN IS A VIRGIN'
63. Make Bella president of the La Push Cliff Diving Society
64. Randomly run up with a stake yelling "Die, fiend!"
65. Superglue Bella's window shut.
66. In front of Nessie, say aren't you glad you didn't kill the little brat.
67. Remind him that Jacob and Nessie are eventually going to...well you know.
68. Say, "wow, you lost your virginity at 107 and your daughter is going to lose hers at 7...to the guy who was in love with your wife
69. Every time you take a picture of him, ask him if he'll show up when you print it out.
70. Before you print it out, photoshop it so he doesn't show up in it.Print it out and show it to him.
71. Continually poke him with a pencil muttering quietly about how it's the closest thing to a wooden stake you can get.
72. For his birthday, buy him spray-on tan.
73. Tell him you think it's great that he gave Bella up to Jake. When he asks you what you're talking about, say "uh...I've already said too much." and run away.
74. After Bella dumps him for killing Jacob, tell him it was a misunderstanding, and that Bella and Jacob were never together.
75. Cover his yard with "Beware of Vampire" signs.
76. Make an "I love Jacob" website and say Bella made it.
77. Tell him he didn't steal Bella's virginity, Jacob did.
78. Tell him that Nessie is Jaspers daughter.
79. When you 'discover' he's a vampire, throw holy water on him and shout,"The power of Christ compels you!"
80. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
81. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
82. Tell Tanya Edward has decided to take her back
83. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
84. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
85. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
86. Run around with a lighter threatenign to set him on fire if he comes any closer.
87. Ask him to turn you into a vampire, beg and plead when he says no... then threaten Bella's life. When he agrees say I can't wait till Bella hears about this. Once he has bitten you scream in agony and cry asking him how he could do this to a perfect little girl like me?
88. Once you change into a vampire, tell Edwrd you bit Bella, saying he was right and Bella' blood does smell amazing and you couldn't resist, sorry.
89. Push him into the sun and start o sing Diamonds are a girl's best friend
90. Throw garlic at him while screaming die die die
91. Shove him over the boundary line
92. Stab him with a pencil
93. Stare at him for ages. When he asks what tour doing ask him if he's that guy from Harry Potter
94. Drive slow
95. When he tells you him and Bella are gettng married get up and go OMG Bella are you pregnant
96. Buy him and Bella matching Team Jacob t-shirts
97. Put love notes into his locker and sign them Jacob Black
98. Sing at the top of your voice.... Bella and Edward sitting in a tree. H-U-N-T-I-N-G!
99. Invite the whole La Push pack to his wedding. When he gets upset cry and say you were only trying to help
100. Read New Moon and talk about it whenever he is around

Things to love about twilight

Twilight Appeal:
Why do we love twilight? Have any of you really wondered why? Like as in physiological reasoning? Have any of you really wondered why were all so obsessed? I’m not insulting anyone I’m really insulting myself. I think it’s kind of pathetic how obsessed we all are with these books! It's not like there’s a fan site for the Laura Ingalls books or anything!!!(not that i know of at least) Usually people read a book, like it and move on. Of course with twilight that’s not the case at all! We read the book, LOVE IT, LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT and never stop LOVING IT!!! So in this blog post I’m going talk about why do we love these (freakin) awesome books so much? Feel free to comment and share your opinions!!!
Is it the Vampires?
Stephenie has put a whole new twist on vampires that no one has ever thought of before. Vampires being kind and good? Really? Of course without the vampires the books would be just romance (which they are, but they’re so much more complex than that). The vampires make the saga interesting and exciting! It has the action and adventure and that’s great. Without the vampires the books would be just romantic goo the entire way through. But People can find vampire books anywhere really, especially now since this whole vampire craze has started (which i honestly think is obnoxious. I’m not a True Blood Fan or Vampire Diaries fan or any of those other things. Twilight is the only one for me!) So I don’t think it is just the vampires alone.
How about the Werewolves?
I really don’t think it’s the whole werewolf thing that draws people in either. People loved Twilight(the book) before the rest of the saga came out, when the werewolves hadn’t even appeared in the picture. But, like the vampires, Stephenie has also put a new twist on the “werewolves”(who in the end we find out are really just shape shifters).
Romance?
Of course how can we forget the romance! It’s basicly the whole key to the series! But you can find romance anywhere else too cant you? Now in twilight its not just romance, its romanceS. There’s the relationship of Edward and Bella and Bella and Jacob. So I’ll start with Edward and Bella’s relationship.
Romance-Edward:
Of course, you can find romance anywhere. But I think that this romance , Bella and Edward’s romance is the thing that draws people in the most. I think because there aren’t a whole lot of books out there where there’s a story of a man loving a woman so much that he sacrifices everything he has and is for her. Edward sacrifices everything he is for Bella, even his natural being. He has to maintain extreme self control around Bella because he loves her that much, and by his self control he is controlling what he naturally is. And of course him accepting her for her faults and wrongdoings. Most guys end up hating those things and dwelling forever on them and then end up going and cheating on their girlfriend or something like that. And Edward is bassicly perfect! He has a few flaws, but he sounds like one of the most perfect men I have ever heard of. Edward and Bella’s love is a supernatural love. It is so much stronger than a mortal human’s love. It lasts forever just like the vampires. People want to know that their true love won’t ever stop loving them and move on. Edward can’t stop loving Bella. Its scientifically impossible. Like he says in New Moon (or is it eclipse?), his body is forever frozen in place, like rock. So once he fell in love with Bella, it’s like that love was carved into him and he will never ever be able to stop loving her.
Romance-Jacob:
I think that people are drawn into Bella and Jacob’s relationship because they can relate to it. Jacob and Bella’s relationship is so casual and comfortable. (I am NOT team Jacob. Jacob is so obnoxious how he’s always trying to make Bella fall in love with him! But I still relate to him and that’s why I’m rather on the fence about it). Also, Edward and Bella’s relationship is so intense and hectic, but like I said Jacob and Bella’s is so much more relaxed and friendly. Bella and Edwards relationship is so intense because the vampires are intense. Not that the werewolves lives aren’t hectic, but the thing is that , in the Twilight world at least, the werewolves are “natural”. Don’t get me wrong though. What I mean though, is that the Quileute boys always would have become werewolves. It’s in their blood. Whether or not Bella moved up to Forks, Jacob still would’ve become a werewolf, and whether or not the Cullens came to Forks he still would’ve become a werewolf . (Now you’re probably thinking “NO! People become werewolves when vampires come around!”) But see, there will always be vampires comin’ through Forks (remember in twilight when Victoria, James and Laurent came through. And Jacob was rightfully the Alpha of the pack, So he always would’ve become a werewolf. ) Now since I’m not team Jacob there’s probably a lot more reasons, so you team Jacob people feel free to comment and share your opinions!!!
The Love Triangle:
Love triangles go back so far in literature history. A lot of romances are good with just 2 people, but most of the time they’re just BORING. I’m not sayin’ every 2 people romance, just alot. Having 2 people (Edward & Bella) being in love and another 3rd person (Jacob) posing a threat to break those 2 people apart casues a lot of drama but it makes it interesting. Also I think a lot of girls LIKE to be adoreded by a lot of people like Bella(Edward, Jacob, Mike, Eric, Tyler etc.).
The Actual Characters:
The entire series are written for the characters, the characters aren’t written for the books. The characters are also what make you love the books so much.
I love Edward the most out of everything in this series! He isso perfect. Like I said before he is bassicly perfect except a few things. Everyone wants an Edward! Though unfortunately he’s too good to be true. ?
I personally love Alice because shes such a great friend and shes so quirky.
I love Jasper because he’s so reserved but also so funny at the same time.
I love Rosalie because she is well… let’s skip her ?
I love Emmet because he’s so hilarious! He’s also like my big brother I never had (I have only sisters).
I love Carlisle because he’s so kind and compassionate.
I love Esme because of her sweetness and her motherly love.
I love Jacob because of his friendliness and innocence and how cute he is around bella and how happy he is to see her every time she comes around.
And then there’s all the smaller insignificant characters that don’t have a huge part in the books, but you’re still intrigued by them like Bree the Newborn Vampire(Eclipse) and Riley(Eclipse) and all the Vampires that come to the Cullen’s aid in breaking dawn.
Families and Friendships?
Now of course this wouldn’t be the first thing anyone would think of, but it is worth mentioning I guess. Ahh the Cullen family! I love the Cullens! The Cullen family is an example of what every family should be like! The Cullens stick together and support each other. Even though they all have their problems (Rosalie’s nastiness, Jasper’s eating habits…) they all still love each other very much. All of them (except for Rosalie in the very beginning) are very accepting of Bella and are all just glad that Edward is truly happy for once in his existence. They all are even are willing enough to die for another family member’s safety, like in Twilight when they join together to kill James , in eclipse when they all risk their lives battling the newborns and in Breaking Dawn when they get many other people to join with them to protect renesmee.
Then there’s the Werewolves’ family like feel. They too all join together join together to protect Bella in Eclipse, and Renesmee in Breaking Dawn. I love to see the relationships between the wolves and the people they’ve imprinted on! Especially Paul and Claire, it’s so sweet. I dont really find it creepy how the werewolves can imprint on babies I think its cute. I love the one chapter in New Moon when Bella meets Emily and the rest of the wolves. I love how they all seem like just one big happy family. I think everyone wants a family like the Cullen’s and the Quileute’s.
In the End though…
But overall, I think the main reason we twidorks love these books so much is because of all these reasons put together. But I don’t think we’ll ever know completely for sure though. Even Stephenie Meyer herself said she has no idea why people love the saga so much! Personally I will never stop loving the series! and I still pray for Stepehenie to finish midnight sun! I’m obsessed and if I’ve gone insane, maybe insanity isn’t so bad….
xoxoxo <3


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