It's Just 3 Words

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
I'm going to smile like nothing wrong, Talk like everything perfect, Acts like lt's just a dream, And pretend that he's not hurting me

Submitted: October 29, 2011

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Submitted: October 29, 2011

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I met him when I started to attend junior high school. I was a new kid at that time. I left my old school behind, and wanted to get a new life here. Before, I care less about love love story that my old friends used to tell me about. For me that when I was in elementary who once had a boyfriend which I don't really love is annoying. So, I ended up with him. And I just realized that I made a mistake about love.

At the first day of junior high school, I met a boy who were actually 2 years older than I am, he was... weird looking guy. But, somehow, I felt something different from the other boys, he has a charm that made me always staring at him like his stalker. A year passed, and I started to re-think that why am I staring at him all the time? And that was the day I realized I love him. I know it's so stupid, but I couldn't resist it. It was when I'm in grade 8. The first day of the last year of junior high school came. That day my school has some kind like event, which I have forgotten. That is when he was in grade 11. The grade 11 students are the 'master mind' of the event, so they started to make fun of their junior. The game that they have given was fun, I was asked to ask the seniors their locker number that is the first time I felt so close to him. I was ashamed of myself to ask for his locker number, so I asked his friends before him. But his friends wanted to give a little bit of 'game' before they give their locker number, but he's different... he took a paper from my hand, and wrote his locker number. That is the first time ever I talked to him...

Until the end of the event, all the student are asking their friends to sign in their shirts, of course I asked mine too, but, I give a spot left for him to sign. I brave myself to ask him, and it came true. He signs in my shirt. Nothing is happier than that. Until now, I never let anybody washed or even touch it. At that night, I kiss my shirt with his sign while praying for his safety and health.

I never realized that I have fallen to deep, till it's very hard to pull my feelings back. Until now I was in high school, grade 10. All this time, I always give him a birthday wishes on his birthday, but he never wished anything on my birthday, until last year. I was still hoping for him to wish a happy birthday for me, and God make my wish came true. I felt at that time like it was the best birthday ever. Although it's just a simple words, \"happy birthday... wish you all the best\" but it's enough to makes me happy.

Months passed. I started to feel sad, that I'm the one who's in love with him. All this time... It hurts. It hurts a lot when girls came to him and take a picture with him, and some girls even hug him. It hurts a lot. Until I can't put it into words, I don't know why I'm so afraid to lose you when you are not even mine. I don't know why I love u so when you don't even love me. I don't know why you are the one when I'm just a someone to you.

But, I feel like something encourages me. Something that makes me feel better. So, I decided to make him interested in me before he leaves this year. I study harder than usual, I ate a little bit, and I even join a basketball team so that I might can see him more often.

I knew, all this time, It was just me who's trying hard. It was just me who felt hurt, but it was okay, because I love you more than you can even imagine. I know it was stupid. If someone asked me why I love him, I seriously can't answer the question. I just wanted to be with him that is all I want. I have been trying to say 'I love you' to him, but it was hard. I'm afraid to know the truth. So, I always keep those 3 words in my heart. But, someday, I will go to say that 3 words to you, I will prepare for the worst. I don't care what it takes; I'm going to say how much I love you. It's just 3 words to say, yet it was hard to say.


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