jailbreak

Reads: 146  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
mystery_journey_twist

Submitted: June 18, 2008

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 18, 2008

A A A

A A A


Ok, so I’m different. But not as different as you may think. I awoke this morning and
realised that my life was shit. I work sixty five hours a week in a job I despise, for a
boss I can’t stand. I feel trapped, stuck in this relentless reality that has began to
make me feel like a clone. I wonder around day after day, brandishing my fake smile
so that others feel good about themselves. I hide my problems because no one wants
to share them, and worse of all I follow the crowd, I dance to the same tune. I smile
when I am told to smile. Well you know what, not anymore. I refuse to live my life for
someone else, this is it, I will become spontaneous, I will begin my life. This is my
jailbreak.
So I begin, I tell my boyfriend I am becoming a nun. I tell my boss that she can
stick her underpaid, over rated, impassionate job where the sun don’t shine. Then sit
on a park bench for three hours, just watching. Every so often the sun would peak it’s
head out from behind a dark cloud, showering my face with a peaceful warmth, but then the harsh rain would beat down on my unprotected skin and remind me that this is life, one minute sun, the next rain. A wave of comfort splashes over me, I have done it, my life is mine, it’s time to have some fun, let my hair down and follow those impossible dreams. I have no boyfriend, no job and no idea what I am going to do next. The thunder crashes down. Shit, what have I done!
So I am still sitting on the park bench, overlooking the most glorious mixture of happiness and sadness. A man calls for his lover from one side of the playground, she turns and smiles in a way that lets me know I have never been in love. His sweethearts face blossoms with delight as she squints her eyes against the sun to view her perfect man, then she walks towards him, purposely, slowly so he can capture every small movement she makes. I am so captivated by their body language and total trust in each others feelings that I find myself leaning forward on my rocky bench, consumed in their every movement. Then they embrace, she wraps her arms around him and rests them comfortably on his broad shoulders, then she flashes him a smile before passionately kissing him, I find myself smiling, the way you do when the man gets his woman at the end of a long drawn out love story, that first kiss, the kiss of true love. But I couldn’t help thinking. What will happen when the complications start. I close my eyes, and try to convince myself what if there are no complications for them, what if they simply just live happily ever after. So this is it, my new found freedom. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Getting off the bench.
Okay, so I’ve been sitting on this bench for three hours, one woman even put a twenty pence piece into my empty coffee cup, just enough for a re fill, cheers love. She properly thinks it will be enough to keep me warm, for a few more hours anyway, or maybe she just brought herself an expensive scarf, or something equally useless, and happened to have put her change into her pocket, felt a little flutter of guilt for “ the less fortunate” and decided to empty the pocket of her tailored, perfect fit suit. Now she must feel a sense of achievement, later she may even spare a thought for what she did, and wonder, even if just for a second what happened to me, where I moved on to, whether I got myself another coffee. Strange how the smallest encounters can cause a sort of ripple effect for somebody.
Anyway, like I said, better get off this bench. I breath out, squirm a little to try and stir some feeling in my bottom, which has fallen asleep while trying to forget the hardness of the bench beneath it.
I must make a funny face because as I am getting to my feet a mother walks past with her child and pulls him closer to her. The little boy laughs and flashes his sweetest smile my way, I smile back and stick my tongue out at him, which causes him to giggle and grabs the attention of his mother, who glances at me with disgust and pulls her child’s arm to make him move quicker. It’s funny how parents are often overprotective of their children when they are in clear sight, but seem to become relaxed when the child is not around, it makes me wonder why people have children. I don’t mean it in a horrible way, but that sense of relief you have when you have a small moment to yourself, when you can think about anything other then dirty nappies or school plays, the piece and quiet most people, mainly parents crave. Isn’t it easier just not to bother. Well, I guess I wouldn’t know, as I have never had any.
Okay, I’m off the bench, moving through the park, children run around with footballs, I miss that freedom from when I was young, kicking a football around till you could no longer make out the outline in the dark, the time when all you were concerned about was whether your mother was going to put peas on your plate at dinner. Yuk. The children laugh and play fight as their parents chat to each other and enjoy a little adult time. The rain has subsided and the sun beats down happily watching the children play and the couples fall in love. I make my way home, through the barking dogs, singing birds and swaying trees. Now I have to think of what I am going to tell my father, telling him I had decided to become a nun was out of the question.
As I enter my house I think how strange it feels, I have lived here all my life, yet it has never really felt like home for me, my friends believe that it’s because I am so independent that it feels abnormal for me to be living with others and having things like my washing and ironing done for me. I think it is just because I like my space and there is always somebody around in the family home. Well I know it’s not the fact that my washing and ironing gets done for me, I mean, who wouldn’t want that. I walk into the hall which has been decorated recently as my younger sister decided that it was far to bland and needed shaking up, my feet clonk onto the laminate flooring and I squint my eyes a little, still trying to get used to the “ burnt orange” that my sister believes will add a more modern effect to the house, my fathers opinion really wasn’t relevant, far to old fashioned. The walls were now bare where she had made him take down the forty odd photographs of us all, a visual timeline of our growth, for that I will be eternally grateful. I make my way to my bedroom and plonk myself down onto my double bed, the sheets had just been cleaned and an array of lavender flutters around the bedroom. Thoughts race through my mind, as I try to figure out my next move, slowly they compete with one another, almost like a horse race and I await eagerly to see which thought crosses the finish line first. The race comes to it’s climax and I raise my legs and hoist myself to my feet, I make my way down to the living room and retrieve the laptop. I have always wanted to try my hand at acting, I love to perform but I have always been to scared to try. However now there is a new me, someone who will try over and over again to get what she wants. So the search begins and I set the laptop up in my bedroom, the lavender smell merges in with the slight scent of paint from my newly decorated walls. I had painted them the day before, three of the walls where a nice dark chocolate colour and the other wall a creamy colour, this was the first time I had decorated my bedroom and I was rather proud of it, it was comfortable and relaxed me.
I have always had trouble with the internet, so much information at your finger tips, yet I never seem to find what I am looking for. So I sit and start looking, using every search engine I can think of. Finally I settle for what Goggle have found me and am passed onto a site which gives times and dates for auditions, perfect. I write them down and take a look at the time, it has disappeared and it is now 3am, time for bed.
I had spent all day at auditions for every kind of acting job, from adverts to new television programmes, and even having a go at the stage. However I was being told the same thing over and over again,
“ You must get some training, take a few acting lessons and get yourself a portfolio. Then maybe we will take another look at you. Maybe consider getting yourself an agent.” Each time I remember thinking how these snotty nosed, classically trained fools wouldn’t know talent if it came up and bit them on the ass. Feeling rejected and exhausted I make my way home. To cheer myself up I decide to break the no chocolate rule and parade up and down the chocolate section of my local sainsbury’s, after all I had been through today I think I deserved a little treat. I was feeling really tense and needed something to calm me, so I study the rather large selection and after a lot of deliberation I make my choice. Deciding on a Lion bar I reach for it, only to be cut off by another hand, the young woman grabs at the lion bar and snatches it from my grasp, that’s it, the last straw in a long day of crappy results. I turn to the woman and say, while gritting my teeth,
“ That was mine, you snatched it from my hand.” The woman looked surprised and baffled by my response to her rudeness and simply says,
“Well there’s plenty more.” She turns to walk away and something bubbles up inside me, I retaliate,
“Don’t just dismiss me, I wanted that one and you took it from me.” The woman turns round to face me once again, then starts looking around for something, her voice slightly off key she holds out the lion bar and says,
“Here, if it’s that important to you then take it.” Her hand is trembling and I suddenly realise how silly I must have looked. Slightly embarrassed and confused about my behaviour I apologise and walk out of the shop.
I arrive home, still playing the confrontation out in my mind and trying to come to a reasonable conclusion for my behaviour, however my thought are interrupted by my mothers voice,
“Jessica, could you come in here please.” She sounded weird, her tone was light but held a kind of weakness. God, now what?
I make my way into the front room and my mother asks me to sit down, she says that she has some important news and that I should take it very seriously, she looks flustered. My mother is a very slight woman who always looks like she could get lost in the very large armchair which usually held my father, her cheeks were always rosy, but even more so at the moment. Her bright blue eyes were glistening, almost as though she was about to shed tears, she brushed some of her long, mousy brown hair from her face and looked at me. It was almost like looking in a mirror when I looked at my mother, with the exception of many years more experience and the signs of a tough and varied life on her part, there was no difference between us, she spoke gently but with purpose,
“ Now Jessie, you father and I have been talking and we think it is time you got a little help.” A small smile was on her face, but it was an uncomfortable one and I could see her shifting in her seat. I cautiously ask,
“What are you talking about mother?” she moved next to me on the couch and said in a low voice,
“ I know your having a hard time and that your trying to find yourself, it’s not easy, is it?” I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to answer or not, so I just smiled and she continued,
“ Your father and I have decided to help you and therefore I have set you up an appointment to see one of my old school friends, I think she will be able to help you. I know you have been having a tough time and that you feel as though no one is giving you a break, I know she will do everything she can.”
It all suddenly clicked into place, I remember my mother talking to me about a woman she went to school with becoming a successful agent, and that she owed my mother a favour. Maybe my bad luck was about to come to an end, who would have thought, my mother and father supporting me and my wild dreams. I couldn’t help but smile and to show my appreciation I jumped up and hugged my mother, she seemed shocked and oddly relieved, I said,
“ That would be wonderful mother, this is exactly what I need, thank you.” She let out a little laugh and said,
“ So you will go then, I can phone her and confirm it?” I told my mother to let her friend know that I will be there, she seemed please and said,
“I will come with you, ok?” I said she did not need to, however she said that she would like to see her friend anyway. I thanked my mother again and made my way upstairs to my room.
I was so excited that I could not sleep at all, so at first light I was up, showered and sitting in the garden having some breakfast. I thought about what I was going to say, and how I could impress my mothers friend and make her see how good I was. My mother bungled me in the car and we where off, on the road to my new life, at last.
Dreams come true.
 
The cameras flashed over and over again, blinding me, but I couldn’t get enough of them. People shout my name, trying to get my undivided attention and get that money shot for all of the magazines. My jaw was aching from all of the smiling, I had perfected my poses and used as many different ones for every camera, this is a dream come true. Premieres where my favourite event as it gave me plenty of time to cruise the crowd and get to know everyone. It was a week after I had won my academy award for best supporting actress in a film directed by one of the best new directors in Hollywood at the moment, and I had now been propelled into the lime light. Every dream I have had was coming true and I was loving it.
After a very late night I had to be up at 6 am for a meeting with my agent. Mary Jessop had done everything for me, she was not only my agent, but she had become a very good friend, and I make sure I see her at least once a week.
As I make my way through her offices I can’t help but wonder why she has decorated the way she has. All of the walls where painted white and the furniture was minimal, it was all a little to clinical for me. Michel, her personal assistant always walked me to her office, we chatted along the way, I tell him about my new projects and dispel some rumours that float around various new papers and magazines, and he tells me about his home life and how his new son is getting on. Once we reach Mary’s office he lets her know I am there and then gets on with his many tasks. Mary was always happy to see me and as I walked in she held her hand up to indicate she would be right with me after she had finished her current phone call. Finally she finishes and offers me a seat, leaning back in her chair she says,
“ So Jessie, how are you today?” She was an odd looking women who always reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Her hair was a reddish-ginger colour and seemed to frizz in a thousand directions, she wore red rimed glasses that complimented the shape of her face. She was a pretty woman and had a energy and likeness about her, you found that you could trust her rather easily and felt comfortable telling her anything. I told her that I was well but tired, then complained that she was very rude to make me come see her at such an ungodly hour, especially as I had been at a premier the night before. She smiled and indicated towards my hand,
“ What have you brought today then?” I held out her present, I brought her something every time we met up. This time I had managed to get hold of a signed photograph of Tom cruise for her, I wasn’t a fan myself but she adored him. She studied it and I said, feeling very proud of myself,
“ Tom said it would be a privilege to sign a photo for the woman who brought me into the spotlight. He is a charmer, I’ll give him that.” I laughed and leaned back in my chair a little. Mary placed the photograph down on her desk and thanked me, then she got up and walked to her window, looking out she said,
“ So you met Tom cruise last night, at the premier?” I smiled, she liked to ask questions about my life, part of me thinks that maybe she wishes she had done more, instead of representing stars, maybe she wanted to be the one in the lime light, the one everybody was talking about. She continued to ask questions and I continued to indulge her, this was our usual routine and it lasted for about two hours before she gave me a list of other appointments and asked Michel to walk me out. After our appointment I make my way to the airport where I am due to fly to Ireland to shoot a section of my new film. I arrive at the hotel, check in and am finally alone to do as I please for the rest of the night. A few of the other actresses are staying at the same hotel and just after I have taken my nice long bath I get a knock on my hotel door. A young woman called Sarah enters without invite and walks towards me, I step back a little and ask her what she wants. She holds out her hand and in her palms I see two small tablets, I look at her, bemused she says,
“Well take them then.” I turn from her and tell her that I do not take drugs, she retaliates,
“Must we go through this every time. I told you, everyone takes them, they will help you sleep. Now come on, the other girls are waiting.” She begins to get impatient,
“Take them.” She puts them into my palm and hands me some water,
“You’ll feel as fresh as a daisy for filming tomorrow now.” I sensed a slight hint of sarcasm in her voice as she took a pen and put a tick next to my name, she had a list full of name, some had ticks next to them, and others didn’t. It dawned on me that I had obviously done this before and that the pad she was carrying was some sort of list, probably to keep an eye on payments. I feel confused but realised that maybe this was the normal thing to do, after all she did say that all the girls did it. I feel my body getting heavy and make my way over to my bed.
I feel myself shaking as I awake to my own screams, my bed clothes are soaked through with sweat. As I take in my surrounding I realise that it was just a nightmare and begin to calm down a little. After a few moments I decide to get myself changed into some fresh bedclothes and splash some water over my face. I walk towards the bathroom door and grab the handle, I lose my grip as I try to open it and it sticks, sighing I try again. The door remains stuck as I use all of my energy trying to open it. It rattles and bangs but I have no luck, my mind spins and I look around the room to try and find something to help me. To my shock and surprise I realise that I am not in my hotel room, but I seem to be stuck in a tiny little room, not unlike the one I had at my parents house when I was a little girl. It was very minimal, all that I had was a bed, a desk and a mirror, confused I walk towards the mirror and look at myself, my hair was stuck to my head with sweat and I pushed it back. My eyes were red and then I remembered. That’s the last time I take drugs.
The next morning things seemed to be a blur, I began filming but I couldn’t focus and felt like I was being watched by everybody. I was beginning to feel crowded, and know body would leave me alone, everywhere I went there were either fans, workmates or the paparazzi wanting a piece of me. The drugs from the night before had effected me badly and I just wanted to get away. Shooting finished and I made my way back to my hotel room, the doorman walked me to my door and told me to leave it open, he said he would keep an eye on me as he was told I did not feel so good. I must admit I found this a little odd but did not have the energy to argue, I had seen Mary earlier on and she said that she was going to keep a closer eye on me to make sure I was not doing to much.
My head began to pound and even though I was in my hotel room all I could hear was the noise of the fans and the paparazzi outside, all waiting to get a piece of me, I decided I had to get away, find somewhere quiet, if only for a few hours. I shuffled around for a bit and then sneaked towards my hotel room door, the young doorman was chatting to another girl who was batting her eye lashes and making promises with her gestures, I take the opportunity and sneak down the hall way. I fell like a naughty school girl, I mean I am a grown woman and here I was sneaking around as If I was breaking my father grounding rules.
I finally make it outside but they are everywhere, in order to escape I needed to get past them somehow, otherwise they would follow me. I decided to go the back way, through the field and over a small fence, it was quite liberating really, my great escape.
The telephone rings out over the entire house and the woman goes to answer it, drying her hands on the tea towel. After the fifth ring she picks it up and bellows down the handset in a cheery but tired tone,
“ Hello.” The response is quiet but hits her like a million arrows at once and stings in the same manner. She recognises the voice, Mary talks to her old friend,
“ I have some bad news Alice, I need you and your husband to come to the hospital as soon as possible.”
Alice flies through the double doors, followed by her husband, Michel meets them and shows them to Mary’s office. Without knocking she bursts through the door and demands to know what is going on. Mary asks her to take a seat and after putting her cigarette out she says,
“ Alice I am sorry to have to tell you but Jessie has gone missing, we have looked everywhere and we need your help.” Alice’s face goes bright red with anger and fear and she says while getting to her feet,
“ What do you mean she has gone missing, how could that happen, this is a secure facility. You assured me that this could not happen, she is not well and you have put her in direct danger. I will have your job for this.” Mary makes her way over to Alice and says,
“ Please Alice, just try to remain calm. The police need to know if you are aware of any place she may go.” Alice take her seat again and puts her head in her hands,
“ When I asked for your help I though my daughter would be safe, you told me that she would be fine. That she could get over her problems, and now she has gone.”
“Alice, Jessie is living in a fantasy world where she is a famous actress, we have been treating her and she was making progress. We spoke to one of the girls and she said that Jessie was talking about the noise, she said the fans and paparazzi wouldn’t leave her alone and she needed to go somewhere quiet. We need to know if you can think of anywhere that she would go to get the peace. You need to think.” Alice sighs and says,
“ Mary, I do not know my daughter. She is a stranger to me and I have..” Sirens interrupt her and Michel bursts into the room,
“ They have found her, she is being brought in now.”
Mary makes her way through the halls and down to the entrance where three men hold Jessie.
I knew they would find me, I just can’t seem to get any peace. I want them to let me go but the more I try to free myself, the tighter they seem to hold me. All of my dreams have come true but the noise is to much, I need to take some time out, I shout this to Mary, but she just looks right through me. I don’t understand and I shout,
“ Why are you doing this?”
Mary walks toward me and grabs my face, she looks into my eyes and says, slowly and precisely,
“ Jessie, we are going to make you feel better, we are going to make the noise go away. Just try to relax, I am going to give you something to make you sleep. Please do not struggle.” Mary produces a syringe and lunges towards me. Everything fades and then nothing.
I awake the next morning and realise that I am late for my appointment. Michel walks me to Mary’s office. I will spend my two hours with her as usual, fulfilling her dreams, through my success, then I must begin filming once again.
 
 
 
 
Ok, so I’m different. But not as different as you may think. I awoke this morning and
realised that my life was shit. I work sixty five hours a week in a job I despise, for a
boss I can’t stand. I feel trapped, stuck in this relentless reality that has began to
make me feel like a clone. I wonder around day after day, brandishing my fake smile
so that others feel good about themselves. I hide my problems because no one wants
to share them, and worse of all I follow the crowd, I dance to the same tune. I smile
when I am told to smile. Well you know what, not anymore. I refuse to live my life for
someone else, this is it, I will become spontaneous, I will begin my life. This is my
jailbreak.
So I begin, I tell my boyfriend I am becoming a nun. I tell my boss that she can
stick her underpaid, over rated, impassionate job where the sun don’t shine. Then sit
on a park bench for three hours, just watching. Every so often the sun would peak it’s
head out from behind a dark cloud, showering my face with a peaceful warmth, but then the harsh rain would beat down on my unprotected skin and remind me that this is life, one minute sun, the next rain. A wave of comfort splashes over me, I have done it, my life is mine, it’s time to have some fun, let my hair down and follow those impossible dreams. I have no boyfriend, no job and no idea what I am going to do next. The thunder crashes down. Shit, what have I done!
So I am still sitting on the park bench, overlooking the most glorious mixture of happiness and sadness. A man calls for his lover from one side of the playground, she turns and smiles in a way that lets me know I have never been in love. His sweethearts face blossoms with delight as she squints her eyes against the sun to view her perfect man, then she walks towards him, purposely, slowly so he can capture every small movement she makes. I am so captivated by their body language and total trust in each others feelings that I find myself leaning forward on my rocky bench, consumed in their every movement. Then they embrace, she wraps her arms around him and rests them comfortably on his broad shoulders, then she flashes him a smile before passionately kissing him, I find myself smiling, the way you do when the man gets his woman at the end of a long drawn out love story, that first kiss, the kiss of true love. But I couldn’t help thinking. What will happen when the complications start. I close my eyes, and try to convince myself what if there are no complications for them, what if they simply just live happily ever after. So this is it, my new found freedom. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Getting off the bench.
Okay, so I’ve been sitting on this bench for three hours, one woman even put a twenty pence piece into my empty coffee cup, just enough for a re fill, cheers love. She properly thinks it will be enough to keep me warm, for a few more hours anyway, or maybe she just brought herself an expensive scarf, or something equally useless, and happened to have put her change into her pocket, felt a little flutter of guilt for “ the less fortunate” and decided to empty the pocket of her tailored, perfect fit suit. Now she must feel a sense of achievement, later she may even spare a thought for what she did, and wonder, even if just for a second what happened to me, where I moved on to, whether I got myself another coffee. Strange how the smallest encounters can cause a sort of ripple effect for somebody.
Anyway, like I said, better get off this bench. I breath out, squirm a little to try and stir some feeling in my bottom, which has fallen asleep while trying to forget the hardness of the bench beneath it.
I must make a funny face because as I am getting to my feet a mother walks past with her child and pulls him closer to her. The little boy laughs and flashes his sweetest smile my way, I smile back and stick my tongue out at him, which causes him to giggle and grabs the attention of his mother, who glances at me with disgust and pulls her child’s arm to make him move quicker. It’s funny how parents are often overprotective of their children when they are in clear sight, but seem to become relaxed when the child is not around, it makes me wonder why people have children. I don’t mean it in a horrible way, but that sense of relief you have when you have a small moment to yourself, when you can think about anything other then dirty nappies or school plays, the piece and quiet most people, mainly parents crave. Isn’t it easier just not to bother. Well, I guess I wouldn’t know, as I have never had any.
Okay, I’m off the bench, moving through the park, children run around with footballs, I miss that freedom from when I was young, kicking a football around till you could no longer make out the outline in the dark, the time when all you were concerned about was whether your mother was going to put peas on your plate at dinner. Yuk. The children laugh and play fight as their parents chat to each other and enjoy a little adult time. The rain has subsided and the sun beats down happily watching the children play and the couples fall in love. I make my way home, through the barking dogs, singing birds and swaying trees. Now I have to think of what I am going to tell my father, telling him I had decided to become a nun was out of the question.
As I enter my house I think how strange it feels, I have lived here all my life, yet it has never really felt like home for me, my friends believe that it’s because I am so independent that it feels abnormal for me to be living with others and having things like my washing and ironing done for me. I think it is just because I like my space and there is always somebody around in the family home. Well I know it’s not the fact that my washing and ironing gets done for me, I mean, who wouldn’t want that. I walk into the hall which has been decorated recently as my younger sister decided that it was far to bland and needed shaking up, my feet clonk onto the laminate flooring and I squint my eyes a little, still trying to get used to the “ burnt orange” that my sister believes will add a more modern effect to the house, my fathers opinion really wasn’t relevant, far to old fashioned. The walls were now bare where she had made him take down the forty odd photographs of us all, a visual timeline of our growth, for that I will be eternally grateful. I make my way to my bedroom and plonk myself down onto my double bed, the sheets had just been cleaned and an array of lavender flutters around the bedroom. Thoughts race through my mind, as I try to figure out my next move, slowly they compete with one another, almost like a horse race and I await eagerly to see which thought crosses the finish line first. The race comes to it’s climax and I raise my legs and hoist myself to my feet, I make my way down to the living room and retrieve the laptop. I have always wanted to try my hand at acting, I love to perform but I have always been to scared to try. However now there is a new me, someone who will try over and over again to get what she wants. So the search begins and I set the laptop up in my bedroom, the lavender smell merges in with the slight scent of paint from my newly decorated walls. I had painted them the day before, three of the walls where a nice dark chocolate colour and the other wall a creamy colour, this was the first time I had decorated my bedroom and I was rather proud of it, it was comfortable and relaxed me.
I have always had trouble with the internet, so much information at your finger tips, yet I never seem to find what I am looking for. So I sit and start looking, using every search engine I can think of. Finally I settle for what Goggle have found me and am passed onto a site which gives times and dates for auditions, perfect. I write them down and take a look at the time, it has disappeared and it is now 3am, time for bed.
I had spent all day at auditions for every kind of acting job, from adverts to new television programmes, and even having a go at the stage. However I was being told the same thing over and over again,
“ You must get some training, take a few acting lessons and get yourself a portfolio. Then maybe we will take another look at you. Maybe consider getting yourself an agent.” Each time I remember thinking how these snotty nosed, classically trained fools wouldn’t know talent if it came up and bit them on the ass. Feeling rejected and exhausted I make my way home. To cheer myself up I decide to break the no chocolate rule and parade up and down the chocolate section of my local sainsbury’s, after all I had been through today I think I deserved a little treat. I was feeling really tense and needed something to calm me, so I study the rather large selection and after a lot of deliberation I make my choice. Deciding on a Lion bar I reach for it, only to be cut off by another hand, the young woman grabs at the lion bar and snatches it from my grasp, that’s it, the last straw in a long day of crappy results. I turn to the woman and say, while gritting my teeth,
“ That was mine, you snatched it from my hand.” The woman looked surprised and baffled by my response to her rudeness and simply says,
“Well there’s plenty more.” She turns to walk away and something bubbles up inside me, I retaliate,
“Don’t just dismiss me, I wanted that one and you took it from me.” The woman turns round to face me once again, then starts looking around for something, her voice slightly off key she holds out the lion bar and says,
“Here, if it’s that important to you then take it.” Her hand is trembling and I suddenly realise how silly I must have looked. Slightly embarrassed and confused about my behaviour I apologise and walk out of the shop.
I arrive home, still playing the confrontation out in my mind and trying to come to a reasonable conclusion for my behaviour, however my thought are interrupted by my mothers voice,
“Jessica, could you come in here please.” She sounded weird, her tone was light but held a kind of weakness. God, now what?
I make my way into the front room and my mother asks me to sit down, she says that she has some important news and that I should take it very seriously, she looks flustered. My mother is a very slight woman who always looks like she could get lost in the very large armchair which usually held my father, her cheeks were always rosy, but even more so at the moment. Her bright blue eyes were glistening, almost as though she was about to shed tears, she brushed some of her long, mousy brown hair from her face and looked at me. It was almost like looking in a mirror when I looked at my mother, with the exception of many years more experience and the signs of a tough and varied life on her part, there was no difference between us, she spoke gently but with purpose,
“ Now Jessie, you father and I have been talking and we think it is time you got a little help.” A small smile was on her face, but it was an uncomfortable one and I could see her shifting in her seat. I cautiously ask,
“What are you talking about mother?” she moved next to me on the couch and said in a low voice,
“ I know your having a hard time and that your trying to find yourself, it’s not easy, is it?” I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to answer or not, so I just smiled and she continued,
“ Your father and I have decided to help you and therefore I have set you up an appointment to see one of my old school friends, I think she will be able to help you. I know you have been having a tough time and that you feel as though no one is giving you a break, I know she will do everything she can.”
It all suddenly clicked into place, I remember my mother talking to me about a woman she went to school with becoming a successful agent, and that she owed my mother a favour. Maybe my bad luck was about to come to an end, who would have thought, my mother and father supporting me and my wild dreams. I couldn’t help but smile and to show my appreciation I jumped up and hugged my mother, she seemed shocked and oddly relieved, I said,
“ That would be wonderful mother, this is exactly what I need, thank you.” She let out a little laugh and said,
“ So you will go then, I can phone her and confirm it?” I told my mother to let her friend know that I will be there, she seemed please and said,
“I will come with you, ok?” I said she did not need to, however she said that she would like to see her friend anyway. I thanked my mother again and made my way upstairs to my room.
I was so excited that I could not sleep at all, so at first light I was up, showered and sitting in the garden having some breakfast. I thought about what I was going to say, and how I could impress my mothers friend and make her see how good I was. My mother bungled me in the car and we where off, on the road to my new life, at last.
Dreams come true.
 
The cameras flashed over and over again, blinding me, but I couldn’t get enough of them. People shout my name, trying to get my undivided attention and get that money shot for all of the magazines. My jaw was aching from all of the smiling, I had perfected my poses and used as many different ones for every camera, this is a dream come true. Premieres where my favourite event as it gave me plenty of time to cruise the crowd and get to know everyone. It was a week after I had won my academy award for best supporting actress in a film directed by one of the best new directors in Hollywood at the moment, and I had now been propelled into the lime light. Every dream I have had was coming true and I was loving it.
After a very late night I had to be up at 6 am for a meeting with my agent. Mary Jessop had done everything for me, she was not only my agent, but she had become a very good friend, and I make sure I see her at least once a week.
As I make my way through her offices I can’t help but wonder why she has decorated the way she has. All of the walls where painted white and the furniture was minimal, it was all a little to clinical for me. Michel, her personal assistant always walked me to her office, we chatted along the way, I tell him about my new projects and dispel some rumours that float around various new papers and magazines, and he tells me about his home life and how his new son is getting on. Once we reach Mary’s office he lets her know I am there and then gets on with his many tasks. Mary was always happy to see me and as I walked in she held her hand up to indicate she would be right with me after she had finished her current phone call. Finally she finishes and offers me a seat, leaning back in her chair she says,
“ So Jessie, how are you today?” She was an odd looking women who always reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Her hair was a reddish-ginger colour and seemed to frizz in a thousand directions, she wore red rimed glasses that complimented the shape of her face. She was a pretty woman and had a energy and likeness about her, you found that you could trust her rather easily and felt comfortable telling her anything. I told her that I was well but tired, then complained that she was very rude to make me come see her at such an ungodly hour, especially as I had been at a premier the night before. She smiled and indicated towards my hand,
“ What have you brought today then?” I held out her present, I brought her something every time we met up. This time I had managed to get hold of a signed photograph of Tom cruise for her, I wasn’t a fan myself but she adored him. She studied it and I said, feeling very proud of myself,
“ Tom said it would be a privilege to sign a photo for the woman who brought me into the spotlight. He is a charmer, I’ll give him that.” I laughed and leaned back in my chair a little. Mary placed the photograph down on her desk and thanked me, then she got up and walked to her window, looking out she said,
“ So you met Tom cruise last night, at the premier?” I smiled, she liked to ask questions about my life, part of me thinks that maybe she wishes she had done more, instead of representing stars, maybe she wanted to be the one in the lime light, the one everybody was talking about. She continued to ask questions and I continued to indulge her, this was our usual routine and it lasted for about two hours before she gave me a list of other appointments and asked Michel to walk me out. After our appointment I make my way to the airport where I am due to fly to Ireland to shoot a section of my new film. I arrive at the hotel, check in and am finally alone to do as I please for the rest of the night. A few of the other actresses are staying at the same hotel and just after I have taken my nice long bath I get a knock on my hotel door. A young woman called Sarah enters without invite and walks towards me, I step back a little and ask her what she wants. She holds out her hand and in her palms I see two small tablets, I look at her, bemused she says,
“Well take them then.” I turn from her and tell her that I do not take drugs, she retaliates,
“Must we go through this every time. I told you, everyone takes them, they will help you sleep. Now come on, the other girls are waiting.” She begins to get impatient,
“Take them.” She puts them into my palm and hands me some water,
“You’ll feel as fresh as a daisy for filming tomorrow now.” I sensed a slight hint of sarcasm in her voice as she took a pen and put a tick next to my name, she had a list full of name, some had ticks next to them, and others didn’t. It dawned on me that I had obviously done this before and that the pad she was carrying was some sort of list, probably to keep an eye on payments. I feel confused but realised that maybe this was the normal thing to do, after all she did say that all the girls did it. I feel my body getting heavy and make my way over to my bed.
I feel myself shaking as I awake to my own screams, my bed clothes are soaked through with sweat. As I take in my surrounding I realise that it was just a nightmare and begin to calm down a little. After a few moments I decide to get myself changed into some fresh bedclothes and splash some water over my face. I walk towards the bathroom door and grab the handle, I lose my grip as I try to open it and it sticks, sighing I try again. The door remains stuck as I use all of my energy trying to open it. It rattles and bangs but I have no luck, my mind spins and I look around the room to try and find something to help me. To my shock and surprise I realise that I am not in my hotel room, but I seem to be stuck in a tiny little room, not unlike the one I had at my parents house when I was a little girl. It was very minimal, all that I had was a bed, a desk and a mirror, confused I walk towards the mirror and look at myself, my hair was stuck to my head with sweat and I pushed it back. My eyes were red and then I remembered. That’s the last time I take drugs.
The next morning things seemed to be a blur, I began filming but I couldn’t focus and felt like I was being watched by everybody. I was beginning to feel crowded, and know body would leave me alone, everywhere I went there were either fans, workmates or the paparazzi wanting a piece of me. The drugs from the night before had effected me badly and I just wanted to get away. Shooting finished and I made my way back to my hotel room, the doorman walked me to my door and told me to leave it open, he said he would keep an eye on me as he was told I did not feel so good. I must admit I found this a little odd but did not have the energy to argue, I had seen Mary earlier on and she said that she was going to keep a closer eye on me to make sure I was not doing to much.
My head began to pound and even though I was in my hotel room all I could hear was the noise of the fans and the paparazzi outside, all waiting to get a piece of me, I decided I had to get away, find somewhere quiet, if only for a few hours. I shuffled around for a bit and then sneaked towards my hotel room door, the young doorman was chatting to another girl who was batting her eye lashes and making promises with her gestures, I take the opportunity and sneak down the hall way. I fell like a naughty school girl, I mean I am a grown woman and here I was sneaking around as If I was breaking my father grounding rules.
I finally make it outside but they are everywhere, in order to escape I needed to get past them somehow, otherwise they would follow me. I decided to go the back way, through the field and over a small fence, it was quite liberating really, my great escape.
The telephone rings out over the entire house and the woman goes to answer it, drying her hands on the tea towel. After the fifth ring she picks it up and bellows down the handset in a cheery but tired tone,
“ Hello.” The response is quiet but hits her like a million arrows at once and stings in the same manner. She recognises the voice, Mary talks to her old friend,
“ I have some bad news Alice, I need you and your husband to come to the hospital as soon as possible.”
Alice flies through the double doors, followed by her husband, Michel meets them and shows them to Mary’s office. Without knocking she bursts through the door and demands to know what is going on. Mary asks her to take a seat and after putting her cigarette out she says,
“ Alice I am sorry to have to tell you but Jessie has gone missing, we have looked everywhere and we need your help.” Alice’s face goes bright red with anger and fear and she says while getting to her feet,
“ What do you mean she has gone missing, how could that happen, this is a secure facility. You assured me that this could not happen, she is not well and you have put her in direct danger. I will have your job for this.” Mary makes her way over to Alice and says,
“ Please Alice, just try to remain calm. The police need to know if you are aware of any place she may go.” Alice take her seat again and puts her head in her hands,
“ When I asked for your help I though my daughter would be safe, you told me that she would be fine. That she could get over her problems, and now she has gone.”
“Alice, Jessie is living in a fantasy world where she is a famous actress, we have been treating her and she was making progress. We spoke to one of the girls and she said that Jessie was talking about the noise, she said the fans and paparazzi wouldn’t leave her alone and she needed to go somewhere quiet. We need to know if you can think of anywhere that she would go to get the peace. You need to think.” Alice sighs and says,
“ Mary, I do not know my daughter. She is a stranger to me and I have..” Sirens interrupt her and Michel bursts into the room,
“ They have found her, she is being brought in now.”
Mary makes her way through the halls and down to the entrance where three men hold Jessie.
I knew they would find me, I just can’t seem to get any peace. I want them to let me go but the more I try to free myself, the tighter they seem to hold me. All of my dreams have come true but the noise is to much, I need to take some time out, I shout this to Mary, but she just looks right through me. I don’t understand and I shout,
“ Why are you doing this?”
Mary walks toward me and grabs my face, she looks into my eyes and says, slowly and precisely,
“ Jessie, we are going to make you feel better, we are going to make the noise go away. Just try to relax, I am going to give you something to make you sleep. Please do not struggle.” Mary produces a syringe and lunges towards me. Everything fades and then nothing.
I awake the next morning and realise that I am late for my appointment. Michel walks me to Mary’s office. I will spend my two hours with her as usual, fulfilling her dreams, through my success, then I must begin filming once again.
 
 
 
 
Jailbreak.
Jailbreak.


© Copyright 2017 B Walker. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments: