Torn to pieces

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
I lie lifeless and still in my bed, listening to the cold silence that filled my ears. A faint ringing in my head kept reminding me of the raging migraine I had.

Submitted: October 17, 2012

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Submitted: October 17, 2012

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I lie lifeless and still in my bed, listening to the cold silence that filled my ears. A faint ringing in my head kept reminding me of raging migraine I had. The light blue cotton fabric felt like a soft cloud, I never wanted to leave. I knew that no matter how i was feeling, it was time to slap on that gpretty girl smile that i do so well and face the rest of the world.

The light color of my sheets was stained with smeared mascara from the night before. My eyes felt swollen almost too heavy to lift. My body was limp and sore all over. I felt hollow, every breath I took echoed inside. I was helpless, I wanted to scream and yell but i knew if i tried nothing would come out. It was pitch black other then a ray of light that slit through my room lighting up everything in its path. I didnt need much light to know what was around me though, i knew this room inside and out. I spent so much time in this lonely place, focusing on the things around me was the only thing keeping me sane. Looking from wall to wall there wasn't much to the room. It was bare, missing all the essentials a room needs. The warm touch of a mother, the handy skills of a father, photos of all your friends it needed life. It was dead right now, suiting how i felt better then ever. In one word i was lifeless, not a care for anything anymore. The walls were naked, crusty old paint chips crumbled onto the floor. Leaving small specks scattered across it, each a different shade of white or what use to be anyway. Now they lay motionless and stained yellow, probably from the smokers that use to live here before. On the dirty canvas that formed my walls, you can see that once an artist gave into temptation, and let out their pain. The walls were stained with sharpie. Words of hatred and sadness were sprawled across from left to right, leaving nothing good behind for one to dream about. The nearly empty floors, only held my mattress. Other than a couple clothes, that lay in a careless pile against my bed that was all that my room consisted of. From the cursing on the walls to the single light bulb hanging from the ceiling, this room was as empty as my heart felt. Who would have thought someone could feel so damaged and weak. They say the ones you love wont hurt you, and they’ll be there forever. Its true it doesn’t hurt it kills you. You feel like your dead, by then pain would be a nice change. I feel numb, like all emotions are foreign and have drained out of me. I was broken into a million pieces, so torn. How can someone who thought the world of you completely change, and want nothing to do with you. Thinking about it consumed me to the point where i don't exist. Instead i just shut my mind off and continued my lifeless, and what felt like hopeless journey to recovery.


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