this is the real me

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

what people don't see in me, it is here....

Submitted: September 05, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 01, 2017




They say something big can change a person. Loss, depression, anxiety . . . all factors that may bring out how strong a person may truly be. As a child, I grew up in foster care. I was taken away from my parents at the age of five, along with my twin brothers who are now sixteen years old. I don’t tell people I was raised as a foster child to get pity for them, but I say it only because it impacted my life dramatically.

My mother wants me to be like her . . . but again, she takes all the credit for ‘raising me.’ My father wasn’t a father. Well, when we was younger, he was the one who worked. He was the one who maintained the family. He actually loved us. He loved my mother. My mother loved him. I thought we were a happy family, but my dreams were soon cut short. My father was an alcoholic on the low, and my mother could never get a job due to her record. Life was getting tough, and soon it turned out to be my parents arguing back and forth blaming their mistakes on one another, sometimes on us.

Everyone says that no matter what they love us. But, after so many years passed, I feel as if that is a lie. I feel as if my whole life I been lied to. My father wasn’t my father at all, my mother always got arrested and doesn’t know how to tell the truth if a gun was being pointed at her head. It’s sad to think that two people would have kids and pretend like they don’t exist at all. Today, I still have faith that they’re going to turn their life around and act like parents should act when they have kids of their own, but then reality hits me all over again, and it just reminds me that my parents aren’t going to change.

I named this ‘A Disappointment’ because of two reasons. The way my life is right now, I always say I never asked for this, because I didn’t. Two, because of the fact that I am still hoping that my parents are going to turn their life around but they never do, even when they promise me they will. Like I said, my life is a disappointment itself. But, I can’t keep dwelling on the past, and I’m getting used to saying that now. Today, I’m trying not to dwell on all that happened to me as a child. I can honestly say I been through a lot a child shouldn’t have gone through . . . but here’s to me being successful! I will always remember something my mom use to say. That was, “You are worth more than a billion stars.” Till this day, thanks to her, I truly believe that.


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