Taken - Flash Fiction

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

The man loses his daughter to sex - trafficking. Will he ever see her again?

 

Taken

 

Taken. Sweat glistened down my scarred face, as I stare at the door that leads to the end of this nightmare.  I remember when it all started.  The pain, the trauma of knowing that the most important person in my life was taken from me.  The heartbreak I felt when I wondered if I would ever have her back again, if I could ever hold her in my arms again.  The trauma I felt when I saw the outcome of all the others.  The horror I felt when I saw the lifeless cold, pale body of her best friend knowing that could’ve been her.  And the relief I felt when I saw her for the first time in that dreaded place...but she wasn’t the same.  She looked different.  As I looked into her eyes, I didn’t see the same beauty I once saw.  What I saw was a souless puppet, left up to the will of her puppeteer.  Hatred flowed through my veins.  I hated them.  I hated the heartless men who took everything from me.  I hated the drugs they used to turn the high-spirited loving girl I once knew into a souless body.  But it all ends now.  Beyond this door rest the end of this terrible nightmare.  The end of the painful memory of her being taken from me.  Taken.  Hate filled me once again, I burned with anger as I kicked open the door with all the force I could muster with my injured body.  The door fell off its hinges, as my eyes widened of surprise as I saw her right in front of me.  I glance over as I see a man holding her with a   knife to her throat.  A chubby, heartless, rich snob.  

“Look,” he started to speak, “We can negotiate.”  I ignored him.  He’s nothing.  All I could think about is having her back again.  I finally made it. I finally have her back.  All the people I killed.  Families I hurt.  All for this one moment...to have her back again.  I smiled.  I pointed the gun towards the man’s head and pulled the trigger.  I looked into her eyes, but this time I can see the once loving high-spirited girl I once knew.  Tears flowed down her cheeks, as she embraced me.  I can finally happy again.  I have my daughter back.

 

Trying to get better at writing, this is based off of the movie Taken...Feedback?


Submitted: March 31, 2012

© Copyright 2022 BDProductions34. All rights reserved.

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Comments

CoreyAtherley

What a terrifying and emotional story, and very well written. You write like a pro. Seriously. In just two paragraphs you've managed to transport me into this gruesome underbelly and I felt as though I was journeying with the narrator on his bloody quest to avenge his daughter. If you could write this good with only two paragraphs, then I'll be anticipating a New York Times bestseller very soon. Brilliant!

Sat, March 31st, 2012 10:31pm

Madhuri

I absolutely agree CoreyAtherley! Even though I had watched the movie, I could still feel my growing anticipation with every word. Also the way you say the word, Taken. Just like that yet full of impact! Short but intense. Great job! Keep up. Let me know as and when you post more. :)

Sat, March 31st, 2012 11:06pm

BDProductions34

Thanks CoreyAtherly and Madhuri for the awesome comments!! I'm definitely gonna make more soon. You guys really inspired me to become a better writer, thanks!

BDProductions34

Mon, April 2nd, 2012 1:02am

Charles Mausolf

I thought this was really good, I never saw the movie but I can only imagine the ending to be something like this. Even if it is a different ending (again never saw the movie) this would make one powerful impact. It's rare to see such talent.

Thu, April 5th, 2012 4:55pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Charles for the awesome comment! And yes this is based off of the ending of Taken, you should see the movie its really good :)

Thu, April 5th, 2012 3:24pm

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