I remember the fall

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Another piece of writing from my time at Truman.

I turn to Daryn, watching the way she sways to the indie rock. If I pay attention, I will find that I do the same.

And I remember the summer days, where we listened to this song on repeat. This along with a few New Order albums, and maybe an ounce of John Denver.

And I remember days in our backyard, the summer heat along with the muggy air, only penetrated by the water in out lime green blow up pool.

I remember drinking our mom’s bloody mary, and not much after that.

I remember eating dinner with Daryn on those summer nights, and mom only bothered to stop by Schnucks and get chicken strips with mac n’ cheese.

I remember her smile as she watched us enjoy the meal even though she didn’t work hard to get it.

I remember spending every day like this, and our parents would watch us in their lawn chairs so as to keep us from drowning. I remember that I could tell, even as a ten year old boy, that they were completely and utterly in love.

I remember the start of the school year and turning in unfinished homework with a crappy excuse every day because I was afraid that if I told somebody the real reason, my parents would get mad.

I remember staying up all night to the music of my parents fighting, the back and forth screams muffled by the door and the blanket I stuffed under it.

I remember the divorce months afterwards.

I remember the downward spiral from there, the custody battles, the boyfriends and girlfriends shuffling like a deck of cards, never the same.

I remember my step-dad becoming my step-dad and my world becoming a constant battlefield from there.

I remember high school and Daryn’s cliche of friends who trashed our house every weekend because Daryn couldn’t say no.

I remember being hit on by every girl in her group because they thought I was ‘hot’, even though I knew that wasn’t true.

I remember graduating from a high school where everybody pretended the world was an okay place, like we weren’t all messed up inside. Because each and every one of us was a rotten apple on the inside and nobody planted their worm on purpose. My worm--my parents. Noah Malone’s--his grades. Phoebe Sherwood--herself.

I remember being accepted to college and not being excited as much as I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to suffer my family drama any more.

I remember Daryn calling me to tell me she had been accepted into college also, two years later.

I remember her calling me two years later to pick her up from a bar. And when I think back to this moment and the time beyond in the future, I will remember driving her to my flat and caring for her drunk self.

I will remember her crying in my arms because she was such a rotten apple. She had maggots of problems crawling out of every crack, every crevice and she didn’t know how to be happy.

I will remember crying because I forgot how to be happy.


Submitted: September 15, 2014

© Copyright 2022 Bear Sandwich. All rights reserved.

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