I don't Want To Be Lonely nomore

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Creating a illusion of yourself to keep everyone out..

All these years
i thought i dont want a serious relationship
i dont want to commite to anyone
I didnt want to call someone my own
and most of all
I didnt want someone to call me theirs
I was the girl who moved on quick
Couldnt hold me down
You say hello
I say goodbye
but if i knew i could never love you
I slowly open up
then tuck myself inside
Some people mistake this as a slut
Some mistaked it as cruel and mean
but i see it as someone in need
Someone who's lost and hurt but wants noone to see.
Im scared of love and affection of any kind
For, i had it once but lost it
and never knew why
I remember crying
I remember begging death to strike me in my sleep
I remember wishing you were mine
and i still remember your famous line.
"  If i dont love you. Then why do i think about you all the time?"
If only you knew
what you did to me.
I never want to hurt that bad again
so i created this illusion
to keep everyone out
but within time you find the heart does move on
despite what you think at the time
You do forget
And sometimes you find yourself smiling for real again
People change and the heart heals
although it leaves a scar that will surely fade within the hands of time.
Now i've been threw enough silly boys to learn
I dont want a bad boy nomore with the mischevious stare
I want someone who cares
holds out a hand and say they'll be there
I never really had that before
and whenever i did i push it away because i was afraid
But now i see i finally want something real.
Something to call my own
to make me feel not so empty
Someone to make me smile when im sad
hold me when i cry and not just stare
Someone who smiles real big just cause im there
and doesnt disown me cause a pretty girl stares
Someone who sees my personality, not just whats on the outside.
Someone who knows me
The real me
and still holds on tight
And most of all I want someone who will agrue back when im mad
but calm me down
All this time i've been running
I finally realized i grew up and somehow turn into this
strong independent young lady
That sometimes still falls apart but thats okay.
I thought I didn't want a serious anything
But the truth is
Im tired of all the meaningless flirting
I Dont Want To Be Lonely Nomore....

Submitted: July 14, 2009

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