It wasnt your time.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
When you loose someone, without being able to say goodbye.

Submitted: October 20, 2011

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Submitted: October 20, 2011

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It Wasnt Your Time </3


There's a point in life when you start to realize who matter; who never did; and who always will.

\"Rest

The night was cold, and it was the worst thunderstorm Australia had ever seen in 50 years, the thunder was a loud clapping noise above the houses roof, and the lightning was striking down fiercely, it was rather very angry lightning. Then the hail began, the roads were flooding from the huge rainfall.

Let me introduce myself, my name is Ivy. I am 17 years old nearly 18! And I am about 5 foot 6, and long dark brown hair. My eyes are green with specks of brown in the left one. I have a medium build but feel so self conscious some days, my arms have hair on them but that doesn’t worry me. I live here with my mother and my sister in this little house, in the worst possible neighbourhood, my best friend is my niece, and I still sleep with teddies on my bed! I am not embarrassed, because I am me!

The rain is getting heavier, and I can hear my dogs howling because their scared, let me tell you about my dogs. I have 2! They are  the cutest things you have ever seen. Well sometimes!
Their both rather small, one is a Chihuahua and the other one is a pure bred Maltese. The Chihuahua is a girl, and she was in a traumatic accident with the dog next door, when I turned 16, that accident meant she had to get her back leg removed, because it was to crushed to do anything about it, she now hops around on 3 legs, and looks like the most happiest dog ever! Our Maltese is a boy, and he is a really good guard dog, but smells so bad! He needs a bath.

Its 4am in the morning and now both of the dogs are barking because their scared, everyone else is asleep and im laying him enjoying the thunderstorm outside, but also beginning to get a little scared aswell, as I hold my Chihuahua she is shaking in my arms, I hold her close to my chest telling her “everything is going to be okay” even though she continues to shake because she’s so small, and there isn’t much of her.

I end up falling back to sleep, and wake up a few hours later when my alarm goes off, I look outside and see the mess that this storm had managed to do, the roads flooded, tears broken and fallen, hail pretty much everywhere still, it was cold and very windy.

I needed to go out that day, but I ended up staying home, I tried to find something good to watch on TV, but the news was filled with “horrific storm, killing over 100 people” I sit there and flick through the other channels, but everything has “news flash” I sigh, and think while I was sitting in bed last night, listening to that storm there were people out there dying, trying to protect themselves, trying to protect their children and their animals and their homes.

Living in an outback town, with there is only the rural city and the entire bush is hard sometimes, because fires start, when the lightning strikes. There isn’t much you can do about it, all the sirens still going off around the town. Everyone packing themselves into the church to live for a while until their houses get fixed, because the rain flooded them out, or their houses caught fire, everything changed that day.

Later that night I received a phone call, a close friend who was on their way to see their grandparents had been a car accident, and were now in hospital in severe care. They weren’t sure if he would survive or not, he was like my best friend I thought to myself, life without him just wouldn’t be the same, I got in the car and demanded my mother drove me up to the hospital, through the flooded roads. I was nearly in tears I tried to hold them in, but once I was dropped up at the hospital and I walked into his room and seen him laying in the bed in a coma, I burst straight into tears and just didn’t know what to do. I sat there next to him and held his hand. The tears kept rushing out of my eyes.  I began to talk to him “Ashton, please don’t leave me” I said through my tears. “Please, we have been through so much together. ive always been there for you, im here for you again, please don’t leave me” I tried to stop crying but it didn’t work, I sat there and rubbed his hand holding it tighter than I ever could. “Why did it have to be you? Why were you the one in the car, your such a sweet soul” I kept telling him, I spent a few hours with him just sitting by his side crying, and remembering all the fun times we had, all our memories.. I was going through my phone looking at photos of the two of us, and laughed “Omg do you remember when this happened, that was the best day! I will always remember that day” The Nurse came in and said “5 minutes until visiting hours are over” I looked at my phone, and seen the time was 10pm, I had been there for 6 hours, “Oh okay” I said as I looked at her and smiled, once she left the room I said goodbye to Ashton, and whispered in his ear “I will always love you”  as I was leaving the room I kept stopping and looking at him, he was always a beautiful face. One of the cutest I always thought! I was so glad he was my best friend.

Mum came and picked me up from the hospital and I burst into tears again, we talked about Ashton and the condition he was in, she told me he would be okay and the nurses would do everything they could to make him comfortable and to make him better, and to see if he would come out of this coma, I nodded “Yeah I know, but seeing him just laying there mum, it was just horrible! Because I was talking to him and I havnt heard his voice in a while, I havnt seen his smile in a while” I explained to her, “it’s just not normal, it hurts. Im hurting so much” I said again, once I got home I climbed straight into my bed and cried, my pillow was soaking wet by the end of it, I cried and cried so much! I wanted to do something to help him, I was really resenting this thunderstorm now, it has taken one of my friends.

I ended up falling asleep, and I got a phone call the next morning from Ashtons Mother, who said Ashton had passed away last night about 3am. I shook my head and tried not to cry “No, that’s wrong. He was doing so much better when I was there with him last night” I said crying a little, Ashtons mum nodded and cried a little bit too, “I know darling, but you are what kept him alive, he was staying alive until you came and visited him, he didn’t want to leave without hearing your voice, he really did love you. I remember him every day after school, Mum! their is this real hottie at school! And she’s my best friend, it was so sweet. Ivy you made him the happiest boy ever and you were always there for him” I nodded and cried even more my eyes began to go all red, “I loved him too” I explained, “I was just always so scared to admit it, and now he is gone! And I can’t do anything about it” I said, I paused for a bit in silence trying to calm myself down, so I could speak properly. “Ivy, you can come around anytime you want, I would love to still see you.. And you can hang out in Ashtons bedroom, remember we still have the puppy you gave to him, the little rat bag she is, but she’s so cute and Ashton loved her so much”

I paused again, and then smiled “the hairless puppy, she was so expensive but I knew how much he really wanted a dog, and he was allergic to their fur. So when I found this girl I knew those 2 belonged together.” “Yes! And he loved her, and we will always be here for you Ivy, and Ashton will always be by your side, even if you cant see him, you will ALWAYS feel him by your side and in your heart” the phone call ended and I laid there in silence on my bed, thinking “OMG, is this really true?” I couldn’t believe it was happening, I really couldn’t. I had lost my best friend; he was one of the 100 people”

This storm was the worst storm ever, a week later I attended Ashtons funeral, such a beautiful service it was, I even did a speech to him. It went like this.

“Ashton, Ashton was my best friend... I had this massive crush on him, and now I know that he was in love with me too, I wish I had always told him that I loved him, but I never did. We were also like brother and sister, I know what you’re thinking that just doesn’t really work if you love someone, well Ashton was different.. we were a few things, but we were always together, when one of us were in trouble the other one would get in trouble too, just so we could mess around in detention together! It was so fun, I loved every moment I spent with that boy, and I will never forget him. Make sure you save me a spot up there in heaven Ashton, and then we can be together forever, please never forget me!”

The audience cried, and I cried most when they he was being buried, it was the worst feeling seeing your best friend being put in the ground and then covered with dirt, because you cant do anything about it.

Time passed, and school really wasn’t the same anymore. I had been seeing the school counsellor at least twice a week, and I had tried to commit suicide a couple of times in the last 3 months, because I want to be in heaven with him, I am a kind of selfish person who doesn’t think about other people around me, and think about how they would feel if I left, all I thought about ever was Ashton, my best friend who I wish was my boyfriend. I just wish that he was still here by my side, getting into trouble with me. Everyone tells me he is looking down upon me all the time and he has a smile on his face because im doing so well, and when he sees that I want to be with him he cries because he knows how I can accomplish so much in life, and it’s not my time to leave this earth yet.

I have nightmares every night, and just don’t seem to cope. I miss alot of school lately and its nearly time to graduate my senior year, it’s been 3 years since Ashton has left me, 3 very long years! The worst years of my life, I never found someone to replace him in my life, and im sure I will never find someone, but I am now pregnant aswell, and im having a boy. Yes It was a one night stand with some random guy when I had been drinking, but im 6 months pregnant and its a boy! And im naming him Ashton.

 

 


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