Beautifulwithlove - Dear Chris part 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Based on my blog.

Submitted: January 25, 2014

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Submitted: January 25, 2014

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Dear Chris,

I miss you. That's how it always begins. I was thinking tonight that in 5 days time it's been 6 month  since you tragically got taken away from me. Those 6 month have been the longest, mind numbing days of my life.

Iv been dreading October for some time now, mainly because every 6th day of each month marks a milestone of how long you have been away from me, each day is even more so filled with deep memories and pain. My hearts so broken that I don't ever think it will remain as one again. I just wish that I could be with you, side by side - day by day, the way it should have been. We done everything together, me and you. It's also a very devistating month because on the 7th our little baby was due - our little angel would have been introduced to the world, and I know how much this meant to you.

Not only would our baby be as gorgeous and mesmerising as you, it would have been your 21st birthday two weeks later. Another time that wee should have been celebrating. Now all I think is how much I want this month to be over, not purely because its marked with precious days, it's simply because I wanted to spend and share these moments with you. The way it should have been.

If only you could tell me how happy you were or if you were okay, then maybe my life and heart would be at ease, or sometimes I just want to end this misery I'm feeling once and for all.. But you would be so disappointed if I done that. It's hard to split my heart and head apart because my hearts telling me I can fight another day and my minds telling me I'm not strong enough anymore. I'm simply not as strong without you.

I hope that in time, I get answers and reasons to why you were taken away so soon... Because it would make things just a smaller bit easier to understand. I just don't have faith anymore, I don't believe that there is a god anymore, someone to protect the good from evil because really.. All the goods taken from the world and the evil is just as easily eating away to the remaining souls of the planet. If it were easy I'd tell you how my day went but I'm afraid you already know how I feel, I would share the laughter with you but I shed more tears that's I do smiling. I miss you so much, I miss you beyond words.

Love you always beautiful. Shine bright like the star that you are ??


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