Beautifulwithlove - Dear Chris part 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
dear chris part 3

Submitted: January 27, 2014

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Submitted: January 27, 2014

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Dear Chris, 

 
Tonight was something else, I mind this time last year i bought you a ticket to the Barcelona Vs Celtic at home and you were so happy with your match package tickets that you wouldn't stop being nice to me. That is a though itself that made me smile for the first time in a while. I remember making a promise to you that i would go to the next champions league game and i did it. You would be so proud of me for going and changing my footballs ways, lets just say i wasn't the top football fan but wow you have changed your girl. 
 
I kept looking at the sky tonight and i was thinking how beautiful it was.. not because of the stars or the misty clouds, simply because you are laying among the skies flying higher with the angels. That moment of knowing you were safe and watching me from heaven, made me think how lucky i am to have you. I know you wouldn't leave my life forever. I know that one day we will be together again and if it wasn't made for us in this life, then i promise you i will wait until the next. 
 
I really think about you alot, more than anything else in my life. I keep thinking about how our little one would have been due in 6 days, and that would have been a whole new chapter in life for us both but i keep thinking how lucky the baby was to have you too look up to and call daddy, or the fact that our little bundle of joy will find their way to you, for you to love and protect them because im simply not close to heaven enough just yet.
 
I know the last few nights i have had beyond terrible, horrible thoughts.. Yes its mind blowing the things you say to yourself when your desperate to see someone you love again, and i must have been stupid to think that i was capable of just ending it all... but im a coward. I couldn't do that, i would never do that.  No matter how i feel, i will always have you beside me, guiding me through the tunnel of thoughts that destroy me. I would never do anything in this world to hurt you intentionally or to even be the slightest bit selfish because i have learned that life is far too short. 
 
I hope you sat above paradise singing your sweet songs, i hope you miss me as much as i miss you, or i bet you are sitting embracing the peace and quite for now, until i see you again.
 
I love you always, i love you more than forever. 
 
lots of love..
 
xxxxxxxxxx

 


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