Her life was no fairytale part two.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a continuous chapter of my " her life was no fairytale". Based on the trumatic events that one girl faced, that changed her life forever. I have wrote this entirely referring to characters to being nameless because to me it gives it more realness, making you wanting to know more. However as these chapters are totally based on my struggles of losing a partner and baby weeks apart, it felt write to only write about it, the way I have!

Submitted: February 03, 2014

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Submitted: February 03, 2014

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Just when she couldn't face any more trauma and distress, her soul began to fade into the background of reality. As she was preparing for the funeral of her partner whilst pregnant - she had to endure the pain of trying to bring him back home from the USA to the Uk. 

Even with the comfort of his wonderful angel growing inside her stomach, nothing was numbing the pain and despair her heart was facing as she was stuck with the thoughts of being alone without her guide. But instead of self pitying herself, she got dressed and made the effort to smile whilst family came to visit and provide comfort but only she knew how she really felt. 

She began to scrape back her hair and flick through photos of memories that contained happier times. She then began to wait patiently for the body of her one true love to come back home. That week seemed like forever. 

In her mind she had no idea what to expect, was her perfect guy going to come home immaculate, just looking the same or did the fear of not knowing cripple her heart incase he was disfigured from the accident, but regardless her love was too strong that simply having him home was all that mattered. She just wanted to have him at peace and tell him how much he meant to her. 

When she received a phone call from his parents, she began to pace around the house, moving things about, preparing for him to come home at last. He was due to fly home by the sides of his wonderful strong parents. Time ... Time just felt so still. 

Eventually she heard the gates drag along the ground.. To open the door she saw both his parents trailing their cases along the ground but not just their things. They had his too - her heart sank because deep down she knew he wasn't going to walk through the gates with them. Reality didn't sink in for her as yet. As she greeted his parents, she held them close, to there shock - they noticed her growing stomach ballooned out even more. For a few moments it made them smile. From that moment she then realised she's carrying the most important person in the world. His child. 

The house phone rings, it seemed to echo in the silence of tears and broken hearts. The funeral parlour confirmed that he was ready to be viewed by his family and friends. She could feel her heart rattle against her chest, her breathing seemed loud as she muttered the words " I need to see him, I need to see my boy". 

As the family prepared to go see him, she reached the door. The cold presence within a funeral home seemed haunting and scary. But she held her head high, as soon as she reached the door - she noticed a nose peaking from the coffin, but as soon as she stepped forward - she began to cry, "I can't do this" but not being able to convince herself she couldn't, she continued to walk closer to his magnificent green American casket. "That's not him" she cried, "that's not my boy, look at this face". For a second she questioned the body that lay in front of her, with the shock of what she was seeing she began to cress his hands in the palms of hers. " your home now, I promise I will never leave you, please... Please wake up" , she was so convinced he was going to suprise her and wake up. 

Anyways she continued to whisper words into his ear, she softly stroked his hair and face whilst she analysed his body as it lay so still. Fixing his tie, she said " you never like your tie like this". Unfolding the naught she began to fix it. Tears began to stream down her face, each time she wiped them away, all she could do was rub her stomach and say " look your wee baby is moving around, he or she know your back home" . With the pain of losing him, she could only convince herself that her baby would only move around at the presence of there dad. 

When it came to having to leave him for the night before he was brought home a final time, she couldn't find the courage to leave him. She didn't understand why anyone could leave him. She cripped on to his coffin and said " you will be home tomorrow, I promise I will lay beside you, I love you so much, I need you - please understand I didn't know this would happen".

That night she struggled to sleep, she felt sick to her stomach knowing the love of her life, her baby's daddy was lying in his coffin. The next morning, it was finally becoming real, his body was being kept home for a final night.  
As they ushered his coffin into the conservatory, everyone came to pay their respects. A room full of grieving family members was so hard to watch, but all she could do was hold his hand and kiss his head. She even neatly placed her saint Christopher necklace around his neck, " this should guide you to heaven safely"

That night, she stuck to her promise. She didn't leave his side. She wrote a card and a small note in her best hand writing the names they had chosen for a boy and a girl. Olivia was the best name choice for a girl and Christopher ( after there dad) was the perfect name for a boy. She then wrote a small paragraph of words expressing her love for him, finishing it with boxes of kisses. 

As time went past, she lay on the couch in front of his coffin. She kept staring over, desperate to cuddle him she locked her eyes on him until she fell asleep! But sleep was far from her mind as the following day was his funeral. The final goodbye was coming closer. 

Her alarm awakes her from her sleep, knowing that this day was going to change her life forever she began to force normality to her routine. As she got washed and ready for the funeral, she noticed she couldn't fasten her dress as her bump was neatly popping out. It slowly reminded her that she had to be strong for her baby. The baby was the only perfect creation keeping her Alive. 

Pretending to mask a smile, she prepared for the final locking of his coffin. They prepared his body and soul for a final viewing. Soon - it was to be all over with. Looking at all the wreathes she notices the one labelled " for my daddy", it dawned on her that she was alone even when she was surrounded by millions of people, no one could equal to that one person who made her happy and content. 

As they lifted the heavy coffin, they walked behind the casket to the funeral cars, with everyone watching, it felt impossible for her to show how she was really feeling.  Following the family she sat  in the back of the car staring into obvious, with her mind else where she didn't know what to do next. Fast approaching the church, she saw cues upon cues of people lining up to pay there respects. Suddenly she gained the ability to be strong. 

As the priest spoke about The Lord and all holy sayings, she could only think to herself why god would take someone away from her the way he did.. Why was god destroying her family, leaving his only unborn child behind. 

Soon the service began to go past quickly until it was the moment she was due to share her memories with a church full. She grabbed on to his brothers hand as she waddled to the alter, she let him speak first as she reserved herself for her well prepared speech. As she approached the mic, her heart began to race so fast that adrenaline was forcing the words out. " meeting Christopher was a blessing I was lucky to have..." As she continued it was like as though the church stood still to the sound of her voice, but all she could hear was sniffling as her mic began to crackle.
Without making eye contact with the coffin in front of her, she told the whole Church how much he meant to her before ending it with a prom declaring her dying love for him. 

It seemed to be a long day that was ironically going past faster than she anticipated. Before she knew it, they were heading to the graveside. She watched crowds of people gather around his plot, the priest proceeded with another prayer, she felt her feet sink into the mud as she threw ashes into his coffin. When it came to lowering it down, she gripped the belt and slowly let it go as his body went deeper into the ground. All she could think was why.. Why why why. 

As everyone walked away, she kept staring into the ground that swallowed her love up, wondering if someone was going to wake her up from this bad dream she just continued to stare and hold her stomach lovingly. 

Begging god with her head to the skies she moans " god, don't let me outlive my capacity to love, please just let me die still loving". She could no longer hold her silence as the anger and grief ripped  her apart inside. " if it wasn't for my baby, I'd be by my loves heavenly side". 

But that's not all that was in store for her, pain was only the beginning. Her nightmare just expanded into an unbelievable moment. How could so much happen to one young girl. "God" why could you allow her to hurt so much, she's still got her whole life ahead of her.... 

She didn't know what strong meant until it was her only option. 


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