They don't understand. As I sit here in this chair I wonder why. Why are they doing this to me? What do they want?They speak a language unknown to me. They place the red hot iron upon my flesh and I plead for mercy. He yells at me again and all I can say is "Why?" Tears pour down my face and now he pulls a knife from his pocket. "No god, please no!" I plead over and over. He starts to cut away at my fingernails and pry them off one by one. Blood pours from the exposed nail bed. So much pain, and for what? I don't know. Soon the pain began to ebb. He put the knife away and stared me in the eye. Again he screamed what sounded like babble. I replied with a stare. He left the room. I was in too much pain to sleep.
Hours later he entered again. My eyesight began to fail me. He got up in my face once more. In his left hand he had a metal spoon and he held it to my face. He shouted again, spitting in my face. He expected an answer and I again replied with the same facial expression. He stabbed the spoon into my eye. I screamed in pain, it was actually more of a shriek. He pried my entire eye out. "Why?!?!" I yelled again "Why?!" Blood poured from the black empty socket thatwas once my eye. He spat in my face and repeated the same words he always had. He went for my last remaining eye. I lost my will to live at that moment. Anything, I would have done anything to die just then soI would suffer no more. Then everything went dark.
I could not tell if i was dead or alive. I could see nothing but darkness, for my sense of sight has been ripped from my body. I can breathe and still feel the uncomfortable chair I have been stuck to the past several days. My body aches, I have not eaten nor slept since I was put here. I feel as if my body is starting to devour itself.
Several hours later I heard the door open. Footsteps made their way towards my defiled body. He whispered in my ear the same thing. I replied with a wail of pain. It was followed by a punch in the face. I spat blood on the floor. I heard him move about the room,and then I heard some clanging metal. He walked back over. Pain shot through my shoulder as I felt a hot iron rod stab into my skin. I could smell my own skin burning, and then he went for the other shoulder. I was too weak to speak, all I could do was cry in pain. Anymore pain and I was going to die. I felt rivers of red stream down my shoulders from the wounds. He left again. Now all I could think of was my little girl. Such a sweet innocent child who did not deserve to have her father taken from her. Before I ended up here, all of us were on a vacation in Cancun. I fell asleep in the hotel with my wife by my side, and now I find myself here. "How?" I ask myself. How did I end up here?
The door opened again for the last time. He slowly paced towards me, his boots hitting the concrete, I felt cold metal touch my forehead, and then my wish was fulfilled. The barrel of a pistol. The split second after the click I realized he was finally going to let me be at peace.
Submitted: February 10, 2008
© Copyright 2022 Beavis92. All rights reserved.
Comments
WOW! Now this was a really suspenseful story. It kept me going to the very end. Excellent Job. Can't wait to read more.
Tue, May 20th, 2008 6:47pm
nice. and very gory at the same time.
be sure to check out my "Trap" piece.
Good job
Ooooh...
Elegant. Simply put, you made it beautiful. I liked the description, though there could have been more of it.
Pretty amazing
I liked it.
I loved it! i can't eait to read more
Thu, June 26th, 2008 11:21am
wow...it's sounds alot like hostile, i haven't seen it but my sister has, she said it was so disturbing, my other sister cried all the way through it, she said it was so sad. but all in all it was very discriptive, i liked it...
Mon, September 15th, 2008 11:36pm
pretty good. your one of my inspirations! luved the whole thing. made me want to read more and more while i was reading this i couldnt help but thinking the same questions as him. Why did it happen to him. pretty good. wish you could make more.
Fri, September 19th, 2008 2:16am
I agree with Emma it sounds like Hostel. But i liked it. Its sad about the little girl though.
Sat, November 1st, 2008 10:35am
great story, reminded me alot of the hostel or saw movies. i love a good bit of bloody and gore - can't beat it! some more descriptions on how he felt would've made it perfect. x
Sat, November 1st, 2008 12:45pm
I too am a horror author, and have a few pointers if you want em. The discription is great, but there is no build up. You jump right into the action, which can be a good thing, but in this case, I think it would have helped to emphisize his confusion before the you bring the pain.
Check out mine called "Happy-ness is" to see what I mean.]
Great story tho. Added it to my reading list
Very good. Very realistic. Keep writing.
Sat, November 1st, 2008 3:47pm
wow - i loved that - chills up and down my spine - excellent - i was hooked on every sentence!
Sat, November 1st, 2008 6:13pm
Very...disturbing :o, but hey. That is what I like so much about it :P Great work!~Great Story!
Sat, November 1st, 2008 11:37pm
I little bit too gruesome for my normal tastes but I
liked how the main character was a sympathetic one
which made it more sad and a better story. I do think you could have
developed it more in the beginning though,StevenJadalmund was right in that aspect but I
still liked it.
Disturbing!!!!!!!!! great description!
Fri, November 28th, 2008 5:34am
Woah, that was freaking intense, you really paint a picture. a cool idea might be to write a few other accounts, ya know, slowly give more detail on the place where he was murdered. More people who experienced this, slowly piece together what the place is.
Amazing! Good job! It was so descriptive that I literally had a picture of it my mind. Poor guy, though.
Keep up the awesome work! ^^
i don't like torture and gory stories but your writing made me chill and scared. Your writing was great!!!!!
Sat, January 31st, 2009 2:34pm
wow the images were very disturbing. when his fingernails were being pryed off I couldnt help but grimace in disgust... but in a good way if you know what I mean... Great story.
Mon, February 2nd, 2009 10:00pmFacebook Comments
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AustereOrchid
I love it..Quite plainly put. I am sitting here with my chamomile tea..Reading this and soon I shall be eating lunch. Torture is an art form and you captured it with near perfection! :)
Thu, February 14th, 2008 7:52pm