Bunny Story

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
A silly story I wrote back when i was a freshman in high school that i just recently found again.
It's funny-- for a freshman. lol
But i do enjoy it. : )
It's very random. So be prepared for things that don't make sense at all.

Submitted: June 13, 2008

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Submitted: June 13, 2008

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The day was dark and wet, but the dumb animal wouldn’t shut up! OH MY GOD. Someone please throw a shoe at it!
The stupid animal was a bunny. A cute, little, dumb bunny, who was quietly eating a carrot while…PLAYING WITH HIS LIGHTSABER!!! It sliced through the air like it sliced through a fresh melon.
The bunny’s name was Frickenius Ardentanius, or Fricken-A for short. His mother, Bonita, came barreling out of the house, with 10 of the 50 little baby bunnies clinging to her fur. She began to wave her giant wooden spoon in circles above her head while she sucked in air.
Fricken-A! I thought I told you to us that CONTRAPTION to cut me some flippin gaddamn melons! What the hell am I supposed to feed the little cockroaches!?” Bonita yelled, pointing at her children, who were very much like little cockroaches. Fricken-A bowed his head in shame and sulked into the house.
“Yes, momma sita,” he said. And just to make sure he knew she meant business, she whopped him on the nose with her giant spoon. He yelped in pain.
“Fricken-A!” Fricken-A yelled. Bonita hit him again.
Boy, I’m yo momma! I knows what your dang name is”, she screamed as she pulled one of her children out of her nose and shut the door to the kitchen, leaving Fricken-A standing in solitude and in pain in the front door. He sighed and walked down the corridor to his room - #51 – at the very end of the hallway. His parents told him the day they moved into the burrow…
“Boy,” his daddy, Big D, began, “I hate yous so much, that I’m gonna put yo room at the back so that way I don’t even hafts ta look at yo’s ugly face!”
…To be perfectly honest, Fricken-A was the HOTTEST GODDAMN BUNNY YOU’LL EVER SEE!They just want me to go to my room so I can be sad and pout, he thought, but I ain't gonna.
He opened his door, and then closed it, turned on the light, and…PARTAY! The stereo blasted “Snap Yo Whiskas” while the girls in the hot tub screamed with delight at the bubbles.
“Fricken-A! MAN! Wuz up?” yelled his good friend, Jackson Assitius, or Jack Ass for short. He laughed, and then passed out from alcohol poisoning. Fricken-A stepped over the body and headed for the big bundle of cords and began to kick at the “cockroaches: that were trying to eat the cables.
“Get the hell away! Don’t touch that! God!” he screamed in frustration. Suddenly, the door flew open and in popped his mother. She looked around the room with open eyes and a wide mouth.
Boy! What the hell is goin on here? Is this a rave?!” Bonita yelled. Everyone screamed and began to run out through ever crevice—the windows, the door, the poop hole, etc.
Bonita began to swing around her giant spoon again and hit people running past. They screamed with terror. A few screamed with delight, though.
“Fricken-A!” Fricken-A yelled as he was hit in the stomach with a coat hanger. Bonita smacked him in the face with her spoon.
Boy! Goshdangit! I knows what yous goddamn name is!” she screamed. Fricken-A lashed out his anger by taking his light saber out and swinging it at her. She grabbed some cockroaches and threw them in the way of the sword, so that they would be cut in half and not her. They all screamed as they chopped in half, but they only ended up multiplying!
“Fricken-A!” Fricken-A yelled as he watched the cockroaches multiply.
BOY! I KNOW WHAT YOUS NAME IS!” Bonita screamed. And as she raised her spoon, on last time, high in the air for the death swipe, Fricken-A took his saber and chopped her arms clean off her body. She screamed, and then started laughing.
“HAHA! Look at me! I’m an armless RABIT! HAHA! Wanna hug? NOPE! Cause I ain’t got no arms! MWAHAHAHA!”, and with that said, she ran her armless body out of the room and you could hear her cackling down the hallway.
At that moment, Jack Ass got up, took the saber out of Fricken-A’s hands, and cut off his own arms.
“Dang, yo mamma sita is HOT! I’m gonna go get at her!” Jack Ass screamed as he ran out of the room, chasing after Bonita.
Fricken-A just stood there. He picked up his saber and began to cut melon. Then, when the melons were gone, he picked up the cockroaches and hacked away at them, laughing maniacally.


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