Getting on with Life

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Every year 8 out of 10 high-school relationships contain mental abuse. Whether it is one abusing the other or both taking part in the abuse it will happen. I am writing this out plainly because people do not seem to take mental abuse as serious as it actually is. One of the top causes of suicides is mental/emotional abuse. Have you ever been in a mentally abusing relationship?

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Getting On with Life

~

Every year 8 out of 10 high-school relationships contain mental abuse. Whether it is one abusing the other or both taking part in the abuse it will happen. I am writing this out plainly because people do not seem to take mental abuse as serious as it actually is. One of the top causes of suicides is mental/emotional abuse. Have you ever been in a mentally abusing relationship?

~

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKhR-jI4XLk

(^^^ link to audio)

(Source Name will not be given in this example)

In my freshman year of high-school there were so many new things to be discovered, but the main was that everyone had a boyfriend. Just like any girl though once some one tells you how great it is to have a boyfriend. You want one too. Someone who will care about you like all of your friends talk about.

In early September I began talking to a boy who I thought was nice. He would flirt with me and was cute. In the first month of talking he led me on. I would notice sometimes he would put himself down just so I would build him up. I thought nothing of it and just thought that he wanted to see how much I cared about him.

In the second month he started with the “I love you's” and I didn't know what to say but if I did not say it back he would begin to get mad and ask who else there was. There was no one though. Only him and I couldn't figure out why he would say such things. So I returned it every time. However, he seemed to find another way to make me doubt myself by saying “no you don't” or “prove it”. I didn't understand. He always got to say it... so why couldn't I?

Later on the rumors started that he was making fun of me behind my back, and telling things that we talked about in private. I addressed him about it, but he would always say “what you don't trust me?”

Soon though I became just as skeptical as him. Girls would tell me things he would text them at night and what they had done in past relationships. “I love you” just became a mechanical response to me. I made myself believe that I really did love this boy when in truth. I didn't.

In early December we began to fight more often. Harsh violent words that even I can't repeat. We broke things off. I just remember crying and crying because I would never be good enough for him. I dated another boy to make him jealous I was constantly wanting and craving his attention even though all he did was put me down.

In early February he messaged me saying how truly sorry he was. I took him back thinking maybe this time it would be different.

It was worse. He broke me down with words to where I hated myself so much. I hated who I was and who I was going to be. I had thoughts of suicide. I was so unstable. I had no one to talk to about it.

In March I ended everything.

I suffered from depression for months. I contemplated on harming myself. Inside I felt worthless. I would cry myself to sleep at night.

It has been eight months since I ended things. Last month he publicly apologized, and though I accepted it being the forgiving person I am. I will never ever put myself in a place like that ever again. It is a dark place and it is a lonely place.

~

Mental abuse is a serious matter. It always will be. If you are in a mentally abusive relationship you should seek help. No one has the right to tell you that you are not worth it. You should never be made fun of by someone who “cares” about you.

~

Though that has been a good eight months I can't trust anyone anymore. I am sure there are good guys out there, but every feeling I get always reminds me of him. How nice he was in the beginning.

I know someday I will have to get on with my life.

However, I want to do that with a person who cares about me.

~

Everyone deserves to know that they are beautiful. Inside and out.

~


Submitted: October 31, 2012

© Copyright 2021 BeMySunshine. All rights reserved.

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Comments

jmurch

You are beautiful inside. At least your thoughts expressed are. I found this piece very insightful.

Thu, November 1st, 2012 12:45am

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Reply

Thank you. I just hate to think of other people who go through this. It is a horrible thing.

Wed, October 31st, 2012 8:16pm

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