Blue Cocoon
Poem by: ben hardstaff
Blue Cocoon
Within these walls, my blue cocoon,
climb dirty plates and coffee cups.
My paintings hang uneven, slant,
on crumbling walls, whose cracks i feel.
_
A button's pushed: the T.V sleeps.
The metal God sleeps standing,
as a ghost of night that dreams of days
on an unmade bed in limbo lays.
_
Beneath the sheets my shadow rolls -
I twist and turn in turmoil.
My pulse pumps out a beat beserk.
In a sea of sweat i'm drowning.
© Copyright 2016 ben hardstaff. All rights reserved.
Comments
I really like this poem.Great job!It expresses how your world can be turned upside down, with nothing the same as it once was.
Author
Reply
thanks chelsea, kind of u to say. i'll read some of your stuff in a little while
This is a terribly sad poem full of angst and turmoil.
You were clearly in a very bad mental place at the time. Hope so much you managed to climb out of the 'pit' of despair.
Author
Reply
Thanks for the comment, i was simply trying to express my inner turmoil at the time. I hopefully summed it up quite well
i have no words to speak.......but would like to tell you
It touched myheart real deep and almost in tears
Author
Reply
THANKS FOR THE COMMENT. THIS POEM WAS WRITTEN WHEN I WASN'T IN A GOOD PLACE IN MY LIFE BUT I FEEL SUPERSONIC NOW... THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING'S AN AMAZING THING.
Hey I can't really give much advice, not a fan at all of poetry that doesn't rhyme! I was inspired by Rhythm and Poetry (RAP)
Is your caps button broke? Or is is a conscious thing to write everything in caps?
Author
Reply
HA HA, JUST CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO WRITE THINGS USING LOWER CASE THEN CAPITALS MATTY. I'M A LOVER OF RAP TOO IN A BIG WAY, IT'S JUST THAT WHEN FORCING RHYME IN POETRY RATHER THAN RAP OR HIP HOP IT CAN SOUND AS IF YOU'VE JUST PUT ANY OLD WORD IT TO MAKE IT FIT. JUST AN OBSERVATION.
This was very emotive and I liked the rhyme in your poem. I understand the feeling of being depressed.
Author
Reply
THANKS FOR THE COMMENT. EVERYBODY FEELS DEPRESSED FROM TIME TO TIME. YOU JUST GOTTA KEEP ON KEEPING ON. SOLDIER ON. HEAD UP HIGH. :-)
This was touching and true about losing a loved one. The image of dirty plates and coffee cups stacking up really emphasizes depression, along with disturbed sleep. A sad poem, but one I think everyone can relate to.
Author
Reply
Thankyou Patri for your considered comments. I think sometimes that the truthful, gritty pieces work well. I like to stay positive generally but everybody suffers loss, so why not get the most from it and create a poem about it?
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