The Pearly Gates
Now Jo-Jo has gone,
But his memory lives on
With his followers, family and mates.
He's now golden in heaven;
Done more than nine seven,
But then 'lifted' God's nine twenty gates.
"Oh my God!" said the lord
As he brandished his sword,
"You've stolen my pearly white gates!
They weighed nine twenty pounds,
And were fixed to the ground,
And stealing's my biggest pet hate!"
"You've snatched them you jerk,
You muscle bound berk,
Now tell me the fate of my gates!"
"Ok, i'll come clean,"
Said the lifting machine,
"I've melted them down to make weights."
"So i see it's to late
To recover the gates,
But forgiveness is worth any prize.
So i'll tell you what,
Just show me your squat,
But remember though, no trembling thighs!"
So jo-jo flexed shoulders,
And dipped his head under the bar.
Then he lifted with ease,
Like a crane lifting trees,
And God said, " hell's bells you're a star!"
Jo-Jo made the descent
With knees totally bent,
And his face was serene and quite proud.
He stood up with such speed,
And refused to pay heed,
As the load shot up through the clouds.
As it headed back down,
Jo-Jo started to frown,
And St.Peter jumped back in a panic,
Because nine twenty pounds
On the way to the ground
Goes down faster than any 'Titanic.'
So then, Jo-Jo white,
Like a good silver knight,
With his skill and his speed and his strength,
Lay down on his back,
And like a hydraulic jack,
Stopped the nine twenty pounds at arms length!
He made God more impressed
As the bar went to chest,
Then this giant amongst weight lifting men,
Under total control,
This powerful soul
Pressed the nine twenty pounds up again!
So God looked aghast
As he saw what had past,
His respect growing deeper and deeper.
"St.Peter must go"
Said the lord, "don't you know?
Jo-Jo white is my new head gate keeper!"
© Copyright 2017 ben hardstaff. All rights reserved.
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