Rescued - A Short Story

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A story of the closing of a Comedy Club.

Submitted: May 18, 2009

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Submitted: May 18, 2009

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The Best Medicine
“So this guy walks into a bar with a giraffe. The giraffe and the man start drinking heavily, until eventually, the giraffe passes out. The man goes to walk out, when the bartender yells, ‘hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!’ The man says ‘that’s not a lion, that’s a giraffe.’”
The audience sits in silence.
“Shit, that wasn’t even funny,” Steven says lightly to himself with a tear in his eye, secretly hoping Jefferson would agree. Jefferson thought the joke was dumb too. He and Steven are terrible judges of what is funny as of late, as neither of them has laughed in a long time.
Jefferson co-owns the comedy club called Joke City. Jefferson has always hated the name, but Steven insisted on it. Steven is the financial end of Joke City, so Jefferson did not argue the point. Steven is pushing fifty years old, and he has nothing to live for in the classic sense. He doesn’t have a wife, or even a girlfriend. No kids, not even a house. He’s a heavyset man with little hair, and what little is left has turned a dark grey. He grew a beard to make up for the hair he couldn’t grow on the top of his head.
Joke City at one point was the hottest comedy club east of the Atlantic. If a tourist wanted a fun night out on the town, this was the place to be. Lately, business has slowed down. Way down. Any profit Jefferson and Steven had made off the place is long gone. It is now costing them a fortune to be open. In fact, maybe that’s why tonight Joke City closes up shop.
“What did the pirate say about the steering wheel glued to his groin? Argh, it’s driving me nuts!”
“You have got to be kidding me,” Jefferson says, “no wonder we are going out of business.” Jefferson is an inch away from thirty years old. He has light brown, wavy hair that almost reaches his shoulders, and a pretty muscular build. Picture Fabio in his younger days. Jefferson dropped out of college at the age of 23 to move to America and try his hand in modeling and comedy. Neither worked out for him. So he came back to his home in London with the idea of starting a comedy club where people funnier than him could tell the jokes and he would still make money.
After a couple hours of tears, hugs, and jokes (none of which Jefferson or Steven thought were funny), they locked up the doors. They walked out to their cars, and saw a woman walking a Great Dane. After spotting a stray cat, the dog began to run, and pulled the leash pulling the woman down to the ground on her face. She got up and ran after the racing dog as Steven and Jefferson began to laugh heavily. They looked at each other, smiled, nodded, and drove their separate ways.
 


© Copyright 2020 Benjamin Michael Hickey. All rights reserved.

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