Once upon a time there lived a very fat man. He was so fat and round that he was able to roll places instead of walking. One day as he was rolling to the shop he bumped into a fat woman rolling in
the opposite direction. They fell madly in love and had many fat babies who rolled all over the place.
Rolling became very cool and everyone wanted to do it as it removed the need for expensive transport. Anyone could roll if they were fat enough and had a tyre suit. And so a craze began.
People from all over the world dedicated their lives to becoming fat rollers. Food was eaten like never before. The fattier the food the better. Chips, fizzy drinks, cream buns, pizza,
burgers, chocolate ,double cream and pounds and pounds of butter were shovelled into yawning mouths every minute of every day for years and years and years.
The fatter u were the more beautiful and successful u became. The richest people were the fattest because they could afford to eat more and had more time off in which to do it. People’s features
disappeared into their fat faces and everybody started to look the same. Clothes became more and more of a nuisance and were essentially done away with .people began to just wear dresses with bibs.
Wearing nappies became law for everyone following the faecal pandemic. You see people became more and more serious about eating. Manners became a thing of the past. To save time for eating people
pissed and shit wherever and whenever they wanted. Germs spread like wildfire. Disease was rampant for months and millions of people lost weight through diarrhoea and vomiting. It was a
horrible time for rollers.
Crisis government meetings were held and open shitting was outlawed and nappies were introduced. The military cleaned the shit up very slowly so they wouldn't burn many calories. The vomit was
piled up and mixed with lorry loads of sugar then sent to poorer nations to help with their rolling programmes. Nothing was as important as eating and rolling.
Whole grain foods were no longer produced as they were so inefficient for weight gain . Addicts sold and bought muesli and rye bread in the black market risking the death penalty in doing
so. They hid their addiction by smothering the foods in duck grease to make sure they still gained weight.
People were weighed twice every day once in the morning and once in the evening. Those who didn’t weigh more in the evening were beaten in public areas. All sport died except for sumo wrestling,
darts and of course rolling.
The planet grew very tired from all this extra weight. Billions of obese humans rolled on her day and night. It became so severe that one day the earth reversed the force of gravity. She had had
enough. With no warning she released the most amazing sonic tremor and every loose thing on the planet was sent hurtling into the air.
The fat rollers couldn't believe their eyes. They grappled for food as they flew into the unknown. The fattest people flew fastest whooshing past poorer rollers 1000s of kilometres per hour.
Their faces were a blur of saliva and fear.
Many people were drowning as all the earth’s water was flung into the air creating an unusual sky of sea. Great blue whales swam nervously between trucks and herds of buffalo. God appeared from an
invisible door in the sky and screamed as he was pelted by thousands of star fish and a big fat Japanese teenager. He quickly closed the door again having peeled the Japanese teenager from
his jaw and firing him back in the direction of the fattest rollers.
Birds were defying the gravitational pull and headed back down to the earth's surface dodging lethal missiles of all shapes and sizes. However when they reached the ground the place was
so empty that they started to die rapidly from the loneliness.
Many people too remained on the earth but most were killed by the force from which they hit the ceilings of their schools and houses and apartments when mother earth broke down. Some of the really
fat people broke right through their ceilings and roofs of their homes such was the force of the impact.
Cinema ceilings were jammed with bloodied corpses and the odd survivor dying slowly from loneliness . Once trapped survivors realised as best they could the scale of death and loss they became
gripped by sadness. They would call out and cry. But because it was so lonely the cries were a thousand times louder than normal and they echoed up to and long after the person eventually died.
Blood filled the bottom of the sky as it was sucked out of every crack of every roof and chimney that had squashed some person or creature to death. It streamed like a shower head directly up into
the air making the earth look like a giant red sea urchin.
Manned helicopters and planes struggled to dodge debris before all the windows would eventually smash from the passengers’ lonely screams. Nobody survived the screams. Passengers’ eardrums
burst so violently it sounded like gunfire . It killed them instantly which came as welcome relief from the pain of loneliness.
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