The MOON (2nd part)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Understanding love while finding myself. The things that I am willing to do to prove I am worthy of your heart will prove that I only think about myself.

Submitted: November 07, 2015

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Submitted: November 07, 2015

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As the moon rises, it’s shadow glooms my soul. In total darkness, a beam of light slithers through the pores of my skin; no light is welcome there. Forsaken and abandoned, it has become my place of refuge. It's setting; a collage of past memories tangled into one sequence. I sit patiently as the riddle unwinds. The closer I am, the less I understand. The light sees my pain. Without a second thought the light gives me a chance to see. My clothes are worn and my shoes absent. I reek of self infliction and decay. The light is unmoved by my appearance. I smile.

As the moon rises, I see hope in its presence. I anticipate it’s light to arrive. It did and my spirit, like a whisper quietly approached the light. I am confused by it.The light reaches for my cheek and kisses it softly. The warmth of the light brought instant joy to my cold body. A pulse begins to travel through it.  My heart feels again.

As the moon rises, I prepare myself. Clean shaven and dressed, I wait for the light at the door. The light is crying and upset. My heart melts as it weeps. I reach out to the light with my arms spread. The light grips my body firmly. I feel it’s affection and sorrow simultaneously. the light must leave. Before the light makes its way outside, I kiss it. 

As the moon rises. A burst of light makes its way into my place. It’s light is blinding and powerful. it comes closer to me and I am unable to see. The light displeases me so out of anger , I demand the light to turn away. The light dims rapidly and my dark place returns to its shade. I am comfortable, but the guilt troubles me. I offer the light a seat. It accepts with honor. Unlike others I welcome into my place, the light wanted to be there. 

As the moon rises, the light finds itself beside my body. It is late to its work but sacrifices time to be next to me. I question the light. Why me? The light rest for no one, yet with me did the opposite. My understanding was that the light wanted to refuge in the dark, but the truth is  the light wanted me to leave the dark place behind.

As the moon rises, I have fallen again. My attempts to step into the light brought me shame and fear. I doubt myself, but the light refuses to let me fall. She pulls me into the light, but I am here for good. my feet chained to the floor, my mind occupied by my own failures. I start to drag the light into my darkness. I lust for her. she brings me pleasure that is precious to her. and I abuse it.

As the moon rises, I notice my appearance has changed. A glow from my skin is visible to the light and she grins. The cost of her light is priceless and I have obtained a piece. The light is sad again, but I am distracted by my new look. The light dims more as she weeps, but I become less aware. 

The light has not left in a while. I try my best to keep her with me. I make her promise to never leave me. My obsession with her light drives me insane. Without her I feel useless. My feelings for her were deep, but untampered. It was strong without any understanding of why.

As the moon rises, she now sits away from me. Though we are together, we are distant. We have times when all we can do is talk, then sometimes when silence is best. I can’t imagine life without her. but I start to see the place I once called a home as a place of loneliness and dreadfulness. She was used to it and I brought her back. Time passed faster, everyday was just like the other. its been so long since we’ve talked.

As the moon rises, I face the door ready to take on responsibility. I rehearse my lines and prepare myself. She kisses me on the cheek, this time with experience. She supports me when I’m outside. but I am unable to see her troubles inside our place. 

As the moon rises, I come home to a new place.  She has worked all day to clean every crevice. I show joy, but inside I am unhappy. We know the end is coming. The stress from outside has now become my escape inside our place. As much as I wanted to smile with her, the outside made me very angry. I yell at her in ignorance of her troubles. She defends herself until she walks outside. She is long gone, but in my place I am still yelling.

As the moon rises, I find a letter by her seat. While she is off to regain her light, I try to remember, but  I only see her face. She no longer had light rays but clothes like mine. She no longer needs her light because she is inside with me. She arrived back at the door full of light. I remember her being like this and wanting to share it with me, but now she keeps it for herself. She is selfish with her light as I was when I first received it. My heart is uneasy and I weep. She is better off outside of my place. 

As the moon rises, I look outside every night to see it. Outside brings peace to my soul. I found a way to be with her forever. As the moon sets, I see her beauty once again in full bloom. Her light is truly brilliant  with colors beyond my spectrum. My place now has windows to see her light from the inside. on the sill of every window, a seed that will soon become a flower. and with every flower, I will make a garden that resembles her light. 


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