Me, myself and them

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Hayley is in solitary confinement in a high security psychiatric ward. She is being treated with paranoid schizophrenia; she believes she is in danger. But she can't possibly if her delusions aren't real, right?

Submitted: October 05, 2014

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Submitted: October 05, 2014

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Me, myself and them:

White, that’s it. Everything and anything I can see. The walls are padded high with a small hatch for what I’m guessing is where the food is passed through. I can’t remember though, I haven’t been here since I first arrived at Lakestone institute. I do know however, that I am in solitary confinement. There is a small window located in the top right hand corner, definitely not reachable by any human. This would comfort me but I know that they aren’t human.

Swaying slightly, in the left hand corner hangs a tiny camera, flashing its beady red light at me. I know they are watching me. I know things, remember?  Limply, I attempt to move my right arm to signal to Dr Markman that I need to know the time, the day, just something. I am strangely surprised to discover that my arms, and legs for that matter, have become immobile. I must be strapped down; I can’t be in a coma, no, that’s a silly thought. Summing all my remaining energy, I slowly lift my head to confirm that I am indeed strapped to a white, portable bed.

“Markman! Let me out! I know that you can hear me.” my voice is laced with pain and desperation. I begin to panic; my thoughts kick in confirming that they are coming for me. If I am strapped down then I’m not free to run; to escape. I have to get out and Markman is my only hope. “Markman, please. I need to get out.” I try pleading continually to her. She has to help me, she has to.

A crackling sound in the tiny microphone alerts me to Markman’s presents behind the camera. “Hayley, please calm down. I have changed your medication.” Markman stated as though it is nothing. It’s everything. I don’t want any medication. Medication means that I’m not normal; crazy in fact. But I’m not crazy. It all makes sense to me I don’t understand why Markman is acting like this. I need to go back to the outside world. Reality doesn't’t exist in here.

“Hayley, you need to listen to me I’m here to help you.” What a load of rubbish. All she does is pump me full of medication and keep my family and friends away from me.

“Lies! It’s all lies. You’re the reason that I am here, you’re the reason that my family won’t see me.” I relax a little into the portable bed, feeling rather proud at what I had just said. Markman would never be able to deny it now.

 “You know that’s not true Hayley, they aren’t here to see you because you’re crazy.” Her words cut like a thousand knives ripping through my heart, to cut my blood supply.  The familiar crackling informs me that Markman has left. My only chance of survival. Gone. Just like that.

“No! Please no! You have to come back. I’m going to die!” I emphasized the word “die” but I don’t have time to think much more. As soon as the final words left my tongue like blood dripping from an open wound, they flooded in the room.

I can sense them; feel them all around me. Then there it is again. Something I haven’t heard in nearly a year. “Hayley, oh Hayley, did you miss us?” Their menacing tone sent chills from the last strand of hair on my head to the tips of my toes. They have found me. However this time I’m not free to run. I am going to die.

My eyes spring open as if an electrical charge has been sent through them. They are coming. I can see their long skeleton fingers gripping over the edge of the high window. Springing forward, their leader lurches himself at me. I try, strain and plead to back away, but the bed holds me firmly in place.

That’s when I see it. That’s when I say my goodbyes. The reflection of a tiny scalpel knife shows me my inevitable future. Their leader pushes my head into the snow white wall. I no longer resist it; I welcome it. They drag the blade from my left temple down across my face to the bottom right corner of my lip.

The water course of blood, which runs right down my face, released my mind, my anger, my pain but it didn’t release me. I am still here, tapped and alone. I can feel them tugging me down into the fiery pit of hell which will soon become my home. Fading in and out of consciousness. I draw my last breath.

In this moment I think of my mother, my wonderful mother who has abandoned me. All because of a few lies from a teacher and Markman who claims that I have treatment resistant paranoid schizophrenia. That’s a lie and all. However I don’t have time to dwell on why I have been throw out like old milk bottles and ice cream wrappers. The black is slowly engulfing me, giving me my promised land; Death. 


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