Find Me Alone

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Inside my soul--what I'm waiting for.

Submitted: August 29, 2012

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Submitted: August 29, 2012

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As I was listening to music tonight I found something that inspired me. I stopped everything and let the silence flood my mind and soul. Tears filled my eyes and my throat felt beautifully constricted. Inspiration comes in waves for me, and I like to release myself to the control of it all. My body, mind, and soul become paralyzed and my brain is in a gloriously foggy state that I choose to surrender to. While overcome by fog I feel little burning lights running through me: ideas and emotion. How can I get all of it out where I can keep it forever? Write about it. Bleed onto the keyboard and let my heart be exposed into the vacant universe. 

 
Sometimes I imagine myself sitting under a pink leafed tree. The tree is set on a hill in France's countryside. It's summer and there's a breeze. I have my brown hair curled and down, blowing softly in the gentle wind. I am always wearing a cream, flowing, and sweet lace dress. I'm barefoot, I'm happy, and I'm writing, reading, or drawing. Sometimes in my daydream I cry at the beauty of everything in this great world. The little things that don't get their simple, raw, and glorious splendor recognized. 
 
I feel as though my simple, raw, and glorious splendor isn't recognized. People find beauty in me, but it's not me they truly find. Whatever is beating in my chest is crying out, screaming even, for someone to grab hold of it, squeeze it, make love to it with words, and know it. Simply to know my heart and soul is what I long for in a relationship. I have many things hidden away; feelings, secrets, and some things I don't even know. 
 
There is a marvelous writing depicting pain, love, and joy scrawled across my beating and burning heart. The fire within me is explosive and I long to express it in a secret way that only my lost lover will understand and cherish. The one of my dreams, the one who knows, is waiting for me in front of some electronic screen or book wondering about everything--because that's something he'll do. Wonder. Maybe he's with another significant person, but maybe--if he's my true love--he's alone wishing for me. Wishing to be entwined with my body and soul forever. To be bewitched and enchanted by my spirit, lost in my eyes, touch, and voice...he's yearning for it as am I.
 
To him my voice will sound as sweet as the rain and as seductive as a rose. My hands will be what he wills to take when he wants to explore--and he'll always want to explore whether it be throughout the lands, in a book, myself, or something equally enthralling to him. My lips are what he sees when he closes his eyes and dreams. He's angered by the thought of being apart in our minds. Our souls are crying out to one another--searching, loving, and earnestly waiting. I'm hopelessly in love with him while I stay in the present with every oblivious person surrounding me. 
 
The day we look into each other's eyes we may or may not know. The day we speak to one another might be so unlucky that we walk away with only a pull. Ah, but the day we know--that day--we'll never stop knowing. We'll be able to look at each other and love without reason, we'll speak--with words or silence--and know the insides of each other's hearts. It will be an almost painful adoration--capturing our minds with an insanity and ruthlessness. United we will be until the end of time and breath. 
 
As that moment has not come where we know, I shall labor through my life as I know it now--waiting patiently with an expression of wonder and light, hoping he'll see. 


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