A TALE OF A MAN AND A MONSTER

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
inside me lived a big scary monster. A creature so monstrous and powerful that its mere shadow was able to hide me from everyone and everything even myself. So imagine all the horrible things this monster was able to do to me when it stirred even the tiniest bit.

And that day when I happened to see into the man´s eyes I saw it. I saw the monster, that it lived inside of him too. That day I wept for him, I wept for a man I didn´t even know because I knew what he was going through and I knew that nothing or no one could help him to destroy that monster. Surely people could try to aid him, guide him forward to his part on his winding road that was his life. And I´m sure a lot of people might have tried just that. I´m also quite sure that he must have taken their guiding hands and held them for a while, trying to keep on track. But! Yes, there is always a but in stories like this one. What he, and all the goodhearted people who reached out for him, didn´t realize was that by doing so they always dragged him towards the path he had to get off if he was ever to glimpse a tiny hope to get away from this monster.

Submitted: March 09, 2013

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Submitted: March 09, 2013

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A TALE OF A MAN AND A MONSTER

Once upon a time, there was a man. You hardly ever noticed that man because there really was nothing remarkable about him. He kept to himself, nodded politely if you happened to gain eye contact with him and then just kept walking towards what ever place he was heading to. Once, by pure accident, or so I believe, I managed to get a good look into his eyes and there I could see that this man was nothing but unremarkable. In his eyes I saw sorrow, I saw longing and I saw that he was cowed. It made my heart ache, because it seemed that he was despairingly asking for someone to help him out of his misery but no one noticed his plead for help. I knew because I had been at that same scary place myself. Yes, it´s really scary. You feel like you are floating on an Iceburg, you can see land ahead but it is so frightening just to think about that you will have to jump into that icecold sea and swim ashore with nothing to aid you but your own ability. You know that one jump is your only hope for survival, a jump that might just as well be fatal and still you know you have to do it. And it is just so much easier to stay put on that iceburg and let it take you to whatever direction it´s floating. Just to raise your hand to the air and mumble ,,Whatever” or say to your self: ,,Yes, I have absolutely no control over this iceburg so I better just sit back and float along.

This man truly believed that he didn´t deserve to be happy, he truly believed that his life wasn´t his to live. And for years he lived his life like he thought he was supposed to. He did what was asked of him, by his wife, by his children. Yes, he had a family. Somewhere along the winding road that was his life he did what everyone expected of him, of course. He married and he had children, he had a job to support his family. He didn´t particularly like his job, no, that was not the purpose of his job. It´s purpose was solely to gain enough money to make his vife happy. He tried not to mind, cause his wifes happiness was all he should care about everyone said. Here I must mention just to explain, that this man always did what everyone else told him to do, he truly believed that what others told him to do, was the only right thing to do. Why? I imagine you are asking yourselves by now. I´m not gonna try to explain why, thats just how things were. Was it his upbringing, you might ask. It was his wife, some of you might say but I really don´t know why he was the way he was. Only thing I know and I´ve already mentioned it earlier is that he was cowed, utterly cowed. Why? You might ask and I´m not even gonna try to explain that a little. Because explaining is an impossible task. But I know why, because I, myself was just that way once. And here is why.

Inside me lived a big scary monster. A creature so monstrous and powerful that its mere shadow was able to hide me from everyone and everything even myself. So imagine all the horrible things this monster was able to do to me when it stirred even the tiniest bit.

And that day when I happened to see into the man´s eyes I saw it. I saw the monster, that it lived inside of him too. That day I wept for him, I wept for a man I didn´t even know because I knew what he was going through and I knew that nothing or no one could help him to destroy that monster. Surely people could try to aid him, guide him forward to his part on his winding road that was his life. And I´m sure a lot of people might have tried just that. I´m also quite sure that he must have taken their guiding hands and held them for a while, trying to keep on track. But! Yes, there is always a but in stories like this one. What he, and all the good hearted people who reached out for him, didn´t realize was that by doing so they always dragged him towards the path he had to get off if he was ever to glimpse a tiny hope to get away from this monster.

 

I also know that the only weapon strong enough to defeat that monster hidden inside his heart, is also hidden at the same place. Luckily the monster is unaware of this og I pray for that to remaine so. It is a weapon of mighty power, a power the monster doesn´t even know exists and that power can became his saviour. Just as it became mine. My knight in a white marvellous armour. Now, some of you might say, but If you managed to exspell that evil creature from your heart then why cant you do so for him too. But that is not the way things works in adventures like this one, now do they? No, that would be far too easy. You see, his monster is hidden inside of his heart and no one, not even his vife, not even his children, can reach into his heart. It´s not their fault, it´s not for their lack of tryin´. He simply has no way of knowing how to grant them access to his heart. It´s not that he doesn´t want to, he´s just hidden the key to his heart so well that he can´t even find it himself. Perhaps he lost his key somewhere along the way while walking his, so called correct path. I also find it very probable that there might be decades since he lost it and that by now It´s simply buried so deep in the gravel that covers his path and so it might me lost forever. Lost from his memory also. Perhaps every now and then his mind glimpses a faint picture of a golden key and he asks him self: ,,Why does this key occasionally come to my mind”? ,,I don´t recall owning a chest or a locker to which such a specially shaped key might possibly gain me access to.”

Why? You might ask, why can´t he rembember. This is a key to his own heart! And that my friends answers that very question. You see, his heart wasn´t his to own, that was his believe. His heart belonged to his wife, his children, his job and so he hardly ever thought about his heart. It pained him and his way of dealing with pain was to ignore it. And that´s why he didn´t discover the monster that lived inside his heart. It kept quiet, stirred when ever it desired but the man, with so many other peoples lives to live, seldom gave it a seccond glance. This was just the way things were and he didn´t know any better.

For years I saw him walking to work. Always the same way, always looking at the ground beneath his feet. I know why he did it, his monster made him do it. It forbid him to look up, it made him unable to notice all the beautiful things everywhere around him even on his daily walk to and fro work. I also know that he wasn´t even capable to appreciate the intellect and the beauty of his children, the unconditional love they gave him. The monster forbade him to do so. But because he wasn´t aware of the beast, he thought of himself as a total failure. He couldn´t see himself as a loving husband or a loving father. The monster forbade him to do so. And ever so slowly, so slowly he didn´t even notice, the monster drain the live out of him. Blinded him so eventually all the purposes he really believed he was supposed to live up to became a blur. What was he then to do. He had heard people talk of inner piece but they might as well have been speaking Chinese for all the good that it did him.

And finally because all stories must come to an end I will share with you the end of his storie. I wish I could tell you that it is a good ending but that´s just not how things go or do they maybe.

The man, through his hole live never found the key to his heart and by so enabled the monster inside him to accomplish its evil mission. That is to destroy that mans current life forever. His Iceburg was miles from the shore but in that short single moment he truly believed that his only salvage was to jump. He made up his mind, which by then was as clear as a midnigt sky in June and he felt peace. An inner peace like he had never felt before. He knew that he would probably never make it to the right shore but still he jumped. And in that short moment when his head went under in the icecold sea, he felt something in the right palm of his hand. With a single stroke of his left arm he swam to the surface, took a moment to look into his palm and there it was. The golden key he´d lost decades ago. And I imagine the man smiled then, I imagine that at that precise moment, he was as happy as he had ever been.

And I also imagine that he made it to some shore with the aid of his heart. Because now beeing able to open it up he discovered the monster that slowly and deliberatly had ruined him and he managed to chase that beast away forever. I don´t know where the tides took him but I believe they guided him towards a shore that is beyond our reach. But I do know that now he is happy and careful never to loose the key to his heart again.

 

 

 

 

 


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