New Year's Eve - 2011

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

I reminisce back on past New year's Eves. (approx. 500 words) Written for, and in appreciation of, the group of readers on my Facebook page: The Writings and Ramblings of Bill Rayburn.

 

Turning The Page

 

 

I’ve been alone on the gritty streets of New York City, head down, nocturnally wandering and wondering, on New Year’s Eve; I’ve been lovingly ensconced in the  nurturing, warm arms of a woman that loved me, on New Year’s Eve; I have held the woman of my dreams in my arms on New Year’s Eve; I’ve felt incredibly alone in the arms of a woman who used to love me, and I her, on New Year’s Eve; I have embraced a bottle, hummed along with Tony Bennett, and wrestled with a bushel full of regrets in front of a roaring fire, on New Year’s Eve; I have spent a wonderfully intimate evening with a loyal, unblinkingly devoted dog, who instinctively licked away my tears, sensing somehow, a need to quell the inner torment that often visits New Year’s Eve; I have, with narrowed and jaundiced eye, scrolled back over the preceding year and winced reflexively at my behavior, on New Year’s Eve; I have toasted the soul-drowning suicides of the two most influential men in my life - father and brother, and somehow emerged a stronger man, on New Year’s Eve; I have made love at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve, at once indelibly imprinting the image in both our minds forever. I know she thinks about it every year; it’s our very special little secret; I have felt abandoned, barren, destitute, empty, and cold, all while in front of a fire by myself, never feeling its warmth, like a fraudulent January sun, on New Year’s Eve; I have been wistful and ached for the beautiful cities I’ve visited, on New Year’s Eve; I have never NOT felt some sense of longing on every New Year’s Eve, every birthday, every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, every anniversary…a longing, no matter how good things may be, for life to be better, for everyone. It’s as close as I will get to religion, but my sentiments are no less heartfelt than the Believers; I have rarely approached New Year’s Eve without at least some trepidation, rooted in that dark, dingy little cave of self doubt we all harbor down deep where we let very few people visit. Simply, it is the fear that I will gallivant through another year without living up to my expectations, cavalierly flipping off fate, stupidly wasting my talents; and finally, I will not forget this New Year’s Eve, 2011. Those who truly know me, and there are probably few in this room who do (until now, maybe), would realize shrewdly that my presence in here: joking, laughing, crying, questioning, singing, thinking, reflecting, musing, mulling and flirting, all in a public forum, is so not me. This room and by extension you folks, however indirectly, have helped me shed some of my reclusive nature, and allowed me to let it flow from the heart and mind.

 

Thank you.

 

Happy New Year.

 

 

Bill

 


Submitted: April 02, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Bill Rayburn. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Lofticries

First of all, I may be crazy..but did you fit 500 words in 6 sentences!? Damn, and I thought I wrote long sentences. That first sentence is incredibly long, you're giving me bad ideas! Haha..but really, good work.

Second.."in front of a fire by myself, never feeling its warmth, like a fraudulent January sun, on New Year’s Eve" -this is awesome, I'm definitely going to try and incorporate similes in my future works..they read beautifully.

Real good stuff, people should read your works! Why are you not popular?!

Wed, April 4th, 2012 6:29am

Author
Reply

Hector, nice observation about similes...they can act like a power booster to your prose, and when done well, they make you pause, put the book on your chest, and think. Pleasantly surprised you even know what they are, but I promise you this, I will be less surprised by your insights as we move forward.

It's not a run-on sentence, in my book. Semi colons are pauses as opposed to the more finite 'period', and that's how I wanted this piece to flow. Didn't want the stop and start feel that complete sentences afford....one emotion and feeling flowed into the next. I had an incredible response to this piece on my Facebook writing page....many folks have poignant memories/stories about NYE. Thanks for your response, as always.

Wed, April 4th, 2012 8:18am

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