I need some space

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
just read it

Submitted: January 27, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: January 27, 2012

A A A

A A A


“I need some space” that’s what she said when we broke up.” I feel like you’re smothering me. I can’t breathe, I need some space”. I had a feeling this was coming. “It’s not you it’s me”. That’s when I knew she patronizing me, it’s bad enough she’s dumping me, I don’t need her pity. “I hope we can still be friends”. Friends really, all of this feels so rehearsed and fake but I knew this all too real. I wish she hadn’t wasted so much of my time. Honestly I hated spending time with her; she made every conversation, every situation, about her. I was just an accessory like her gold earrings or her designer scarves. She made sure all of her problems absolutely dissolve mine. This moment gave me a sense of relief, no longer being dragged to see concerts for bands I pretend to not know, but secretly hate. No more spending time with her awful friends who resent the both of us.

“That’s cool” I said. I wanted to seem vague, confuse her on the inside. Leave her thinking “that’s cool we can be friends” or “that’s cool I don’t really want to “.

“Well I guess I’ll see you around”. Her face turned red as she waved goodbye and slowly turned around. As though she thought I would beg her not to do this, like she was expecting me to bargain with her and tell her I can change. Of course I wouldn’t. I have far too much pride in me to do something like beg. Given the chance I wouldn’t beg for my life. In any relationship I get in to I can’t help but think this will all end, and every day I just a day closer to when we finally break up. A small part of me might miss her but an even bigger part of me will enjoy the free time.

I walked home as usual to an empty house with basic TV. I plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. After flipping through terrible sitcoms, and talk shows I turned it off. “What now” I said to myself. I feel the need to speak my thoughts out loud when I’m home alone. When you’re alone it’s hard to tell the difference between thought and speech, your voice sounds the same in your head as it does out loud. I walked in to my kitchen and fixed myself a bowl of frosted alphabits, they’re not particularly my favorite cereal but they’re adequate enough to eat. I always imagined this was what my life would be like when I grow up. Living in a small cramped apartment with a terribly low income, living off cereal, trying to self publish a novel. I have very low expectations in life. I think if had the feeling of completeness and content I would be happy with my life.

Knock knock. I fell asleep trying to figure what to do for the rest of the night. knock knock. Someone was at the door what could someone possibly want. I wiped the drool from my mouth, and answer the door.

“Have you found Jesus yet, son?”

“No but I’ll keep my eyes peeled”

“Well, if you find him just give me a jingle”


© Copyright 2020 Black Nathan. All rights reserved.

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