She's Gone

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a "memoir-ish vignette" that I had to write for my English class my sophomore year of high school. It vividly depicts probably the hardest moment of my life. My English teacher's comment was, "This is wonderful, and sad, and beautiful." Hopefully, you find the same to be true.

Submitted: July 31, 2011

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Submitted: July 31, 2011

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She sits on the sofa in the living room and watches her cousin's little green car pull into the driveway. She knows why he's there, but as she opens the door and watches him standing there, she still can't wrap her mind around it. Her cousin steps inside and stands noiselessly for what seems like ages. Finally, he says it.

"She's gone."

"When?" the girl asks after a beat.

"A few minutes ago. They decided that it was time to take her off the machines."

"Ok." Silent tears chase each other down her face as her cousin's arms envelope her in an embrace that was meant to be comforting.

"Do you want to come back over with me?"

"No. I'm gonna stay here," she responds as she makes a futile attempt at collecting herself. Her cousin gives her a concerned look.

"Suit yourself," he finally says. She watches him plod back to his car, closing the front door behind him, and pull away, out of the driveway.

She stands there, watching him leave her and realizes that he's the second person to do so that day. She can't take it anymore. She runs clumsily up the stairs, a plethora of tears clouding her vision. The moment she makes it to the landing, she slams into her bedroom door, opening it in the process. She grabs the doll that her grandmother gave her for her tenth birthday and hugs it almost violently to her chest. She throws herself down on her bed next to the open window, and the sobbing begins, almost as if on a cue.

She stares out the window and a song penetrates its way into her subconscious. "Holes in the Floor of Heaven". She wants to sing it, but tears choke her up. At that moment, she wonders if she will ever sing again. How can I sing when she's gone? She looks out the window and stares at the sky. It's bluer than she's ever seen it. One of the most beautiful things she's ever laid eyes on. She hates it for that. How can everything outside be normal and beautiful when my grandmother, my best friend, my biggest supporter, is gone and won't ever come back? How is it that the world can keep on going, going, going, when my world, the world that I've been living in, is falling to pieces all around me?

She keeps thinking, asking herself, asking God, why, and finally, she stops feeling. She doesn't feel anguish, depression, despair, anything. She wonders if she'll ever feel anything ever again. With no emotion playing through her mind, she is forced to listen and hears church bells ringing in the distance as the tears continue rolling down her face.


© Copyright 2017 Black Tears and Flower Petal Rain. All rights reserved.

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