Sad Excuse

Reads: 737  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 23

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

I stole a bit..... LOADS from this awesome song. Link Bellow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW3tQx2HkMM&feature=related

I know you fear for me

I know that I love thee

I know you saw me bleed

I know I heard you breathe

Such a sad excuse

 

You turned away

My excuse was sad

“I tripped into a black berry”

I hide my slit wrist to death’s ferry

 

I know you saw me lose a stride

I know you asked me why I hide

I know you didn’t believe me

I know my lie has offended thee

Such a sad excuse

 

You turned away

My excuse was sad

“I am just very tied”

Hiding my overdose tried

 

I know you saw my tears

I know that I hide them well

I know I can annoy thee

I know that I love yea

Such a sad excuse

 

You turned away

My excuse was sad

“I have hay fever”

I am the final leaver

 

I know that you see

What I hide so carelessly

I know you do not believe me

I want to be breathing effortlessly

Such a sad excuse


Submitted: November 18, 2011

© Copyright 2022 Blackdragon99. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Blackdragon99

I'm sorry. I can not write out of a 4/4 beat and I write so much shit. I also can not write positive or about anything new. Atleast enjoy this for a second and my work is done. Its hard to lie when writing.

Fri, November 18th, 2011 12:22pm

Intifar2210

Nice poem...really emotional and keep writing....:)

Fri, November 18th, 2011 2:16pm

Author
Reply

Thank you :)

Fri, November 18th, 2011 12:00pm

LizLew

Mad, there is so much raw emotion in this, that I have to say, I never knew you could sut someone with words, which you've done. This poem is a razor to which I glide apon my wrists to take away my own pain.
Liked.

P.S-BLEED by Evanescence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, November 18th, 2011 4:32pm

Author
Reply

Yes! Bleed by Evanescence! I LOVE the song. And don't worry we all glid sometimes (DONT DO IT!).
We all love ya too much for you to leave us. If you do I'll bring you back to pour tomato sauce and mustard over you

Fri, November 18th, 2011 11:59am

Vampire17

I like it! it's a really cool poem! It's like awesome ness!!!!!!!!!!!! :D LOL i couldn't think of anything else to say! :D

Fri, November 18th, 2011 5:17pm

Author
Reply

Hahahhaha Na it's all good mate. I am glad you liked it

Fri, November 18th, 2011 11:56am

Sgroi123

I like that the persona kind of judges her/himself at the ends of stanzas stating 'such a sad excuse.' Yeah I struggle with writing happy poetry too. It just turns out cheesy.

Sat, November 19th, 2011 2:30pm

Author
Reply

Lol well I write when i feel and when I feel it's not very happy... So.........

Sat, November 19th, 2011 7:23am

CanadianIdiot

Very nice, excellent flow to the whole thing. I like your structure for this one, from five lines to four. Thumbs up!

Sun, November 20th, 2011 8:19pm

Author
Reply

Thanks.... yeah I was tied of just 4 lines so I mixxed it up a bit. Thank you so much for reading :)

Sun, November 20th, 2011 6:16pm

writing geniuses

awww maddi this was so good :) and...painful :( be happy dude, come on! i wanna c u happy :D like real happy :D anyway i loved it :D :D :D please keep writing, mate!

Wed, November 23rd, 2011 11:26am

Author
Reply

Hahahahaha I write to ease when I'm angry or sad So me happy and writing is like an eclipse.... Doesnt happen very often

Wed, November 23rd, 2011 3:37am

Anna Lunak

Love it! You're amazing, honestly! Your poems are beaufiful

Sun, November 27th, 2011 9:25pm

Author
Reply

Thank you Anna... Your stuff is stunning too... I swear anyone who reads comments read this author right here Anna Lunak1 Stunning

Sun, November 27th, 2011 1:28pm

Ian Dawn

Nice work mate and you dont need to always be in 4/4 just be honest as your feedback and ciomments say you are awsome.

Mon, November 28th, 2011 12:36am

Author
Reply

Hahaha thank you mate.

Sun, November 27th, 2011 4:54pm

Loretta Jane

Amazing emotion. I feel it too. I really liked it (Clicked like.)

Sun, December 4th, 2011 3:56pm

Author
Reply

Thank you. :)

Sun, December 4th, 2011 3:51pm

beyonder91

I think this is an interesting poem. Like the 'such a sad excuse' repetiton.

Mon, December 5th, 2011 8:24am

Author
Reply

Yeah hahahaha. I kinda think that a load.

Mon, December 5th, 2011 12:27am

justbecause

The repetition makes the poem really good, I love how this is written! Nice poem, keep me updated if you post any more.

Mon, December 5th, 2011 8:51am

Author
Reply

Hahaha I sure will. Although I am more into my novels at the moment. I have lost my poem wind. Anyway thank youfor all your reads and comments

Mon, December 5th, 2011 6:30am

MassThinker

You really did good here! :)

Wed, December 14th, 2011 11:12am

Author
Reply

thank you

Wed, December 14th, 2011 4:09am

SmileValentine

very emotional.. great poem! :)

Mon, December 19th, 2011 8:46am

Author
Reply

thanks mate :)

Mon, December 19th, 2011 12:47am

joshdo

thanks for making me cry! *snivle*

Thu, March 29th, 2012 8:07pm

Author
Reply

Sorry :(

Thu, March 29th, 2012 5:50pm

Pharaoh888

That was a nice poem, very strong and emotional. Thumbs up :)

Sun, April 8th, 2012 2:24pm

Author
Reply

Thanks

Sun, April 8th, 2012 4:08pm

Mackenzie James

Raw emotion. A very "Montaigne" type of piece. Keep up the good work my friend! you've got talent!

Wed, June 6th, 2012 1:28am

Author
Reply

Thanks :D

Tue, June 5th, 2012 8:18pm

Dean Talbot

No need to be sorry about this poem! It turned quite well! Good Job!!!!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 4:45pm

Author
Reply

haha thanks.

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 1:07pm

Entity

So very heartfelt. I am in awe. This work is raw emotion. Normally a piece like this needs more than just raw emotion. This piece however has broken that rule quite effectively. Well done. Keep writing:)

Wed, December 12th, 2012 1:31pm

Author
Reply

Thankyou :)

I believe I've lost the poetic side of me
However.

Wed, December 12th, 2012 10:50am

Vampire slayer

wow this is such a sad and beautiful poem. Such depth and emotion! You are a good poet :)

Sat, May 25th, 2013 11:22am

Author
Reply

Thank you :)
I wrote this around some events so it was kind of a natural way to deal.

Sat, May 25th, 2013 8:23am

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