I sat in bed, crying.
It hurt so much. I hurt so much. My heart, my soul, my pride.
I lay back limply, something inside of me had cracked, I felt like I just couldn't give a shit about anything anymore. Life isn't worth it.
I closed my eyes, sleep, sleep will heal all.
I remembered that cold November, it was raining and we had no umbrella. Me (Miri) and my boyfriend Mike, holding hands. Our breath came out in clouds of mist, cold, warm hands clasped
together. We were soaked that time, our clothes clung like skin to our bodies, clearly showing our body shapes. I glanced at his muscular chest and blushed. He saw me blushing and grinned. His
beautiful lips stretched into a beautiful cheeky curve.
He leaned down to peck me on the lips. Soft and warm. I felt as if he loved me and I for sure loved him.
He can't have though. No one could cheat on the person they love like that.
He had slept with my best friend three times during our relationship and yet... I forgave him, I forgave him and tried to act as though nothing had happened, I even forgave my "best
friend". They had seemed so sincere in their apologies, I couldn't have turned them down and... And if I had... I would be alone.
I would be so alone, no boyfriend, no best friend, sitting alone in class, sitting alone in lunch. I could clearly imagine the countless boring days that would be sure to
I sighed and tried my hardest to wipe his face from my mind.
I fell asleep.
A dark horrid sleep, the type of sleep were you are afraid to dream for fear of re-opening wounds with the images so likely to appear, the type of sleep were the only thing about it
that really resembled sleep was the closed eyes, were you can't wait for the alarm to ring and for your eyes to snap open again.
Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.
I half smashed the alarm clock as I clambered out of bed.
The mirror is a cruel thing.
Pale skin, eye bags, red eyes.
And I still can't believe he dumped me, threw me to the ground and set me on fire.
Sleep doesn't heel wounds, time in a persons mind does. I don't have time. By the time I'll be healed I'll have white hair and shrivelled skin. Scars aren't named scars for
I begrudgingly edged away from my horrid reflection and got ready to brush my teeth and prepare for a day of salt and vinegar to be massaged into my wounds.
I cringed and threw my phoned back onto my desk. I fucking hate myself for feeling guilty. Why did I always feel as though I had to apologise!!!
That's right, I told myself, she had it coming, I mean, she wasn't the sexiest bitch on the planet you can do BETER!
I broke up with her for a reason, because I fucking hated the way she kept trying to get me to go out on dates with her and shit. So yes, I cheated on her with my ex, but it's not like
it's the first time! I mean, there was that time with one of my classmates, a one night stand, but she does t know about that, but I also slept with her best friend and she didn't seem to mind
It's not such a big deal anyway whys she got to have such huge commitment issues?!
Still she had a pretty good figure for a white girl... An e eyes were big with long eyelashes... What the fuck am I thinking, she needed a nose job and a boob job to get match my
And she was pretty annoying somehow to, she kept trying to get me to pick her up, no for fucks sake, you live like half a mile away and what on earth is the point of
She always came near my house for our dates, and so she should! She was the one who always wanted to go on them, I had better things to do so why should I have had to put in all the
Well whatever, she's outa my life now, time to hit a joint with me and ma real friends bitch.
I grabbed a slightly weird smelling towel and headed off to the showers.
After a good rub down I pulled on some baggy jeans and a loose denim blue T-shirt, a gold necklace and my usual earrings.
I grabbed a basket ball and 20 quid and stuffed them both into my pocket (just kidding).
I picked up my mobile.
She kissed me lightly on my lips, soft and warm like a cushion, soon we delved further and our tongues entwined, I got a buzz like nothing I got from any other slut. But I wouldn't have
cheated on her had she not saved her virginity until 16... 16 mate you gotta be fucking kidding me... That's two years! I'de be 18 by that time!!!
But still remember that look of horror on her face as she snapped open my mobile with out my consent, it had been vibrating for a while.
[Two missed calls and a text;
Dana - Did that sex last night mean we're getting back together?
She cried and yelled at me. Her face was distorted in pain. I didn't know what to do, how to deal with the situation, I had never felt guilty like that before, to be honest it scared me
All I could say was "we should break up" only it didn't come out like I wanted I to, it had sounded less cruel and heartless in my head.
She stopped sobbing but her tears continued to roll silently off her cheeks.
She fell utterly silent and looked me dead in the eye, I looked away.
She wiped away her tears and but her jacket back on.
It was almost as if her footsteps where just as silent, I felt as if I had gone deaf. Not quite, pit pat, pit pat, pit pat, kachink.
And she was gone.
And I was gone.
School was dreadful, not the place to heal a heart break. All day long I just felt like such a loner!
I had nothing and no one.
Even my heart had given up on me.
Everything had go e wrong today. I was so clumsy and I tripped multiple times.
Jeez, anybody would think I had stolen Karma's boyfriend and that she now had a personal grudge against me.
I absentmindedly whacked my arm into a pilar and cursed (rather unladylike I know) as my school bag went skidding across the floor, spewing all it's contents as it went.
I sighed, today just wasn't my best day.
As I leant in to pick up my notebook, a slender pianist hand leant in before I could reach it and picked it up.
I looked up and glared, ready for someone to laugh at me and throw my note book to some other dumb jock to piss me off.
My face however softened.
He was Asian with olive skin colour, ear piercings and crow black hair that was messy like Harry potter style.
Before I realised it I was to.
He felt different from Mike.
More compelling, more charming, more honest and way more handsome.
His eyes were a twinkling dark green, clear and beautiful.
Oh no you DON'T! A voice in the back of my mind shouts at me.
Your supposed to be recovering from a from broken heart. What broken hearted girl would fall in love the next day?!
Then I realised I was staring, and our hands were touching, soft. Then he realised to, blushed and jumped back, as did I, twin reactions.
I giggled, he chuckled, an then we both broke out into torrents of laughter.
Why? I don't really know, it just felt like I was overcome with euphoria. And those eyes, they had shown the same suffering and betrayal I ha experienced, and our bags spoke for
Students and classmates stared, we picked up the contents of my bag, they stare some more, we held hands, they're eyes were practically glued to us as me skipped down the hall with
triumphant little skips.
We didn't care what they thought or the rumours they might spread.
We glanced into each others eyes and I could tell he was thinking along the same lines as me.
Lets just cherish the moment.
--Four years later--
Shit I can't believe that bitch kicked me out! As if it was her apartment to begin with!
I strolled down the street, I'de better hook up with some new chick soon or else...
I walked past Primark and down into Costa's.
I got myself a black coffee as usual and sat down in my favourite seat, across the room I could see a beautiful girl with long red died hair and olive coloured skin. She had such
piercing blue eyes and everything about her brought back memories.
Shit! What memories though?
And then I remembered.
Mira... No Miri? Yeah now I remember, that girl really loved me. She would be an easy win...
Man she had grown up, she had some nice curves and everything about her drew attention to herself, I could see people staring... Cowards.
I walked up to her.
"Hey Miri" I smiled "long time no see huh!"
"Hello uh... Matt"
"Uhh I mean... Mika..." She caught my glare "or something..."
"Uh yeah hey Mike" she smiled sheepishly and got out her phone to text.
"Your really beautiful now you know!"
"Thanks" she said, she didn't even look up from the bloody mobile. Pissed I just got straight to the point. "You wanna go round to the pub for a couple of drinks or
She turned her head up so quickly it surprised me.
"No" then got up and left.
What the fuck?! Who the fuck did she think she was?!!
I walked back up the road and saw her again, this time through the window of Primark.
I was about to yell what the fuck was that for when I saw a tall Asian guy with crow black hair walk up to her and peck her on the lips.
That was my day ruined because of that bitch. Why would you choose him over me!
A black cloud practically floated above me head and scared the living daylights out of the pedestrians and I could see them edging a few metres from me.
Fuck why was I so pissed?! A snickering little voice in the back of my head laughed a high pitched laugh and spoke "jeleouse little bitch now are we?"
I practically thumped myself.
My shoulders hunched All the way as I walked to the bloody pub I groaned as a black cat tiptoed across my path.
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