Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

If you asked me in the moment I would have taken it back. But ask me now and it's one of the best mistakes I've ever had.

It all happened so fast. Maybe because I wanted to grow up. All my life I was restrained. I was wild at heart but kept in a cage. I found the key and let myself out, but now I wonder if I should have just stayed in chains. I told him to come. It was my birthday and I wanted a friend. A friend. It was almost like living under a rock, I didn't see anything bad, I just saw the simpleness of meaning.

And so he came. He used to sit in front of my school and stare at me as I waited for my mom to pull up. He never said anything, he would just stare. It kind of freaked me out at first because we were friends and he wouldn't even say hi. But I was into this guy, Jeremy. We went out three years ago but our relationship was pure. All we ever did was hug. But it was something real. I was getting tired of the years passing by, I knew I needed to move on. Sean was the excuse. 

I got out of the shower and was lying on my bed, talking to my friend on the phone. 

"You are going to regret this." 

He was here. I was so excited but nervous. I went outside and walked until the edge of the road. It was raining and he was standing with his bike and a soaked sweatshirt, he smiled. 

We walked nervously until we reached my apartment. 

"Is this it?" 

I had this feeling in my gut. I knew I was making a mistake, but I opened the door. He went to the bathroom to change and I sat on the couch, freaking out. 

Things got out of control from there.

We watched "Are We There Yet?" while lying on the couch. We chased each other around the apartment. "Blessing" was playing in the background and he was on top of me. We kissed.

I ended up with a mark and my mom discovered it. She put me back into the cage but I managed to bend the bars. 

I was walked to and from class. The first day back, he was waiting outside. I wanted to run to him but instead I swallowed back the tears and walked away. I got in the car and looked at the sky. 

We emailed and he wanted to see me. I started skipping bible study. They would drop me off and I would wait. He would give me his hoodie and grab my hand as we ran down the streets through the star-lit town. 

We would go behind alleys and blow off smoke. We would talk for what seemed like hours. I learned his good side. He taught me how to ride a skateboard. He would carry me. He taught me to not be afraid to fall. We would have to run back in order for me to blend in with the other Catholic miserable kids. 

My friends even helped me. I would go over to "study" but we would meet up with him and disappear. We would run through abandoned parking lots and past the mall security. We would make out in the woods and lay on the grass to see the shooting stars. He taught me how to be fearless. 

I would stay after school and put my head on his lap, behind the football field. He would climb the fence and walk on the railing. We would talk until the sun would set. He gave me a teddy bear and his sweatshirt. I gave him mine. His smelled like him. Like smoke, frusteration and deep kindness. It comforted me. 

I went to his house. We got into my friends car and drove to Burger King. My mom thought I was at her house. He got out of school one hour later. We waited until he showed. We walked behind run down buildings and crossed train tracks. I was so excited to meet his mom. All she ever said was to use a condom. I didn't even see her face. 

We walked inside and I grew silent. He didn't say anything, just looked down embarrased. I started having a panic attack. It reminded me of when we first got to the States. We lived in a house with the roof almost waiting to collapse. I remember telling myself, "I don't want to live like this." 

We got to his room. He had a mattress on the floor with blankets. I met his little brother who had ripped jeans, worn out t-shirt, and a faded smile. Then it was just us. 

He motioned me to his bed. Next thing I knew clothes were on the floor. He reached for my pants and I went ballistic. I started crying and he held me, scared that he did something wrong. I told him my story. He told me his. I saw the bad side of him. He promised to be careful. So we never did. But things did get out of hand. He gave me another mark and I couldn't get it off... I couldn't get him off. I panicked and I forced him to get me a blade. He saw me do it and he cried but I sat motionless. I started yelling at him and he yelled back. We walked out in silence, we walked through the rain and didn't speak, all he did was ask if I needed help with my books. 

When we arrived to my friends car he wouldn't even look at me. I started yelling but he cried in silence. He left with his eyes to the floor. 


Submitted: April 26, 2015

© Copyright 2022 BlackNWhite. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Becca Swan

This was so deep... outstanding job, I loved it :)

Sun, April 26th, 2015 4:14am


Thank you !

Sun, April 26th, 2015 11:51am

Chris Green

This is an astonishingly well written piece of work. You tell a story so well and build up the intrigue and the tension paragraph by paragraph. It probably doesn't matter if the story doesn't continue even. It is complete as it is.

Mon, April 27th, 2015 3:28pm


Thank you! I appreciate the feedback!!

Mon, April 27th, 2015 6:08pm



Tue, April 28th, 2015 6:54pm


Thank you ?

Tue, April 28th, 2015 12:02pm

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