I'm not really sure what this is, it's just what I felt.

Everyday I fall deeper into the abyss that is the darker side of me, losing sight of the light.

I look in the mirror and see the change.

I draw the image in my mind, and forget to add the colour.

What colour would I include?

It's all fading to black and white,

details blurring.

I ask myself the same questions every day

What happened?

Why am I like this?

Why is it so hard to radiate the animation, the energy?

My imagination is void of reasons.

There is no one to blame,

not even myself.


the word is so ugly,

the thought so disturbing.

Yet there it is, day to day

nagging at me, trying to pull me in deeper,

and nudging me in closer.

Despite how hard I try,

it gets harder to ward off.

I'm keeping myself in check, constantly.

What is the point?

Will this someday make me stronger?

Or is it feeding the abyss?

Maybe it will just make the feeling stronger,

the whole of me turning black

Absorbing energy with nothing left in the end.

Jumbles of words that don't come together,

that don't make sense are what make me,

until there is nothing left to make sense of.

Nothing but a hole.

I'm wasting away.

Submitted: October 03, 2010

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