Denial Shame and Blame

Reads: 402  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Changing my view from Denial, Shame and Blame to Acceptance, Remorselessness and Glorify.

I have denied the effect of not having a father in my life, affecting my relationship with myself. I couldn't identify with a male role model. I couldn't depend on his encouraging words and support. It made me over compensate to figure out life in front of me. I've been ashamed of the choices I made in the past as a result. Ashamed to say this man wasn't present to meet my needs. I was ashamed to be alone in this world. I blamed myself for not being good enough to be around, important enough or special enough to change him. Powerless to change my life. Powerless to change the struggle that my life was without his help. I blame him, my mother and grandmother in their contribution to his demise. I blame myself for being disconnected with him out of protection. 

 

 

I accept my father wasn't in my life. He didn't support my needs or wants with his presents or words. He didn't teach me valuable lessons and shape my morals. I accept he left me without a man role model. Someone to show me this is how I want a man to treat me. I'm remorseless of the choices I've made as a result of not having a leader. I don't regret over compensating. This is how I felt and thought at that time in my growth. I will be remorseless of my growing pains.  I glorify my ear for listening to my hunger. Maybe not always buy never shutting it off. Its faint whispers which are now growing louder each day I choose to listen to myself. I glorify myself for my resilience, strength, talent, ability and desire to be true to who I'm and whatever is destined inside me.

 

 

I'm beautiful! With all my scars, flaws and imperfections. I'm flawed perfectly. These scars tell my life story. They have built my character, my integrity with myself. I can depend on myself and never be afraid to be alone. I believe in my power, the power I feel when I'm honest with myself. When I have unlocked parts of me never touched by fresh air. I'm a free spirit that wants to fly. Not to be held back by my fears, but to shed them where they belong. Behind me as I soar to heights never imagined.  The sky is unlimited and its where I want to be. I want to be healed. I want to love and vent to grow. I want to touch others. i want to own who I'm. Allowing my past, present and future be who I'm as ONE...........ME! 

 

 

 

 


Submitted: May 24, 2013

© Copyright 2021 Blair W. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:


Facebook Comments

More True Confessions Poems

Other Content by Blair W

Poem / Romance

Miscellaneous / Memoir