Night Run

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
“This story was actually a story I wrote to get rid of a bit of depression I was feeling. My stories provide me with a world where I can be anything. I can become whatever I want, whoever I want and from that place I write emotions. To be honest I was expressing the hollow feeling of having a lack of someone to like, just having a bunch of broken fragments to think back about, but I mean that was just the mood of the moment and I guess you can say I am pretty moody.

This story might be structured weirdly but I guess that is just how my thoughts were organized.”

-Says blue, but babe I think your writings are amazing. No.. they aren't structured weirdly. :) I love you.

Submitted: March 31, 2015

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 31, 2015



I couldn’t sleep. My mind kept working on different ideas, not regrets no. I’m not a man of regrets. Just what ifs…  ‘What if I hadn’t done this? What if I had done that?’ imagining my life from different perspectives different points of view. I was supposed to sleep at 10 pm but I couldn’t. Something kept me up. Sooner than later, my thoughts started opening emotional crevices inside my hard shell of an appearance. I felt crushed. It wasn’t weight. It was a vortex, a hole of emptiness that suddenly spawned inside of me poking around. Sucking up what was left inside me, sucking up who I was. Tears started forming in my eyes. I felt weak. I couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t depression. I already memorized that emotion. This was something else, desperation maybe. I felt bad inside, like this world was against me. It was then that the only thing that came on my mind was you.

I slipped on the first pair of shoes I could find and ran out of my house. I didn’t stop running. With each step I felt heavier. With each step I felt a burst of emotion. I didn’t stop running. More than anything I wanted to see you. More than anything I wanted to hold you in my hands. More than anything I wanted to tell you that I loved you. I ran, sweat running down my face. My legs weary. It had already been a long day but I knew that if anyone, you could make me happy. So I ran, all the way to where you were. And I closed my eyes. I wish I could’ve said that I saw your astonished face as you blushed happy to see me. I wish I could’ve seen you walk slowly towards me and wipe off my sweat. I wish I could’ve felt your warm gentle fingers on my face as you stared into my eyes. I wish I could’ve felt you fall onto me and feel your warm embrace on this cold night. I wish I could’ve whispered in your ear after finally catching my breath and falling to the ground. Just to tell you ‘I loved you’ once more. And you’d hold me as you laid down on me, head on my chest, embracing me, ‘I love you too’ you’d have said. And as my heart rate slowed down and my normal breathing pattern returned I wish I could’ve laid my head in your lap as you pet my head. And I stare into your face,  my eyes looming all over you, admiring every. last. centimeter. of you. And I’d lift my head slowly, you would’ve lowered yours and our lips would touch. And I’d once more feel your gentle embrace. And when my worries had disappeared and finally I was at peace with myself and knew I could finally rest.

I opened my eyes. I wish I could’ve been able to hear your voice one more time, even see you mad at me. I fell to my knees and hugged the block in front of me. I wish you were still around to hug me back. But knowing you, you probably don’t want me here. You want me to move on and grow. I can’t help but blame myself slightly. I can’t help but have a single regret. Not being there. Not stopping what had happened. If I was stronger or faster, would it have changed a thing?

Suddenly it started raining. Cold hard rain fell on my face. Each drop felt like a slap from you telling me to get myself together, to finally "move on". You were generous and kind like that, always thinking about others and never about yourself. I kissed the block in front of me and whispered one last time… I love you, before getting up and jogging out. I could hear the wind blowing through the trees as the rain eased up, almost as if to tell me good night.

Good night…’ I said as I left the cemetery and ran back home.

© Copyright 2017 BlueAmbitions. All rights reserved.

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