My Best Friend Is A Serial Killer

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a funny story about a girl and her best friend who is secretly a serial killer! If you like this, PLEASE watch the movie at thank you! comment!

Submitted: January 31, 2010

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Submitted: January 31, 2010



Zoe is on the phone and she invites her “friend” Lauren to spend the night at her house. It’s five o’ clock and Lauren has just arrived with a suspicious looking bag in the similar shape of a body…
Zoe: Lauren! I’m so glad you’re here!
Lauren: Me too! Where should I set my stuff down at?
Zoe: oh, just anywhere!
Lauren sets her bags down on the ground and Zoe eyes land on the mysterious bag shaped like a long body.
Zoe: umm, hey Lauren, what’s in that bag of yours??
Lauren starts to sweat and stammers for a quick and logical response as Zoe stares down the bag.
Lauren: uhh, ummm, well, you see Zoe…It’s some…..clothes! Ya, I just don’t know what to bring and what not to bring! Ha…ha…ha?
Zoe:  Oh, um ok then! Ha ha Let’s go get some pizza I’m starving!
Lauren: Ok! Me too!
Lauren and Zoe make their way in to the kitchen and go to the pizza. They eat until they are satisfied and then Zoe’s mom comes in and offers them some brownies.
Zoe’s Mom: Here is the pan of brownies girls, but you’ll have to cut them yourselves because I have to wash dishes! Here’s a knife to cut them!
Zoe’s mom sets the brownie pan and a knife in front of them. Lauren’s eye catches the knife…she is completely mesmerized by its razor sharp edge and immediately has the urge to use it…But Zoe’s hand reaches for the knife in slow motion.
Lauren: WAIT! STOP!
Zoe looks at Lauren with confusion. Lauren’s face expresses panic as she searches, yet again, for another logical explanation….
Lauren: ummm, can I cut it? Please? I just love that, uh…feeling…of the sleek knife, with it’s sharp edge, slice through the layer of warm, soft, good-smelling brownie….!
Zoe: Um, sure! Here you go!
Lauren is relieved Zoe bought her story. She decides to be more careful around sharp objects. She needs to learn to control her urge…  Lauren picks up the knife and a look of satisfaction crosses her face. She holds the knife in the air and watches it glimmer in the light. Then, without thinking she starts an evil laugh…
Lauren: mwa….mwah….mwahhahaha!......MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
Zoe stares up at Lauren with a scared face this time, wondering what’s going on. Two minutes later, Lauren FINALLY realizes what she was doing. Zoe’s eyes are big and her mouth is hanging open. Lauren stammers for another response for the third time…
Lauren: Uhh….haha? Gotchya? Ha?
Zoe: Wait, so that was a joke? Umm ok! Ha ha….?
Somehow Zoe knew that that wasn’t a joke…She knew something was fishy and she was going to find out!
End of Scene 1
It’s later that evening around 10:00 and Lauren and Zoe are watching a movie on the couch. Halfway through the movie, Zoe starts to doze off. Lauren sees this as an opportunity to “take care of some business”… She quietly goes over to the bag Zoe questioned her about earlier and struggles to pick it up. She moves towards the door slowly and opens it as quietly as she can. She carries the bag outside and retrieves a shovel from behind a tree she stowed there earlier. She sets the bag down and begins to dig. Two hours later Zoe wakes up to find no Lauren. She checks the bathrooms and other areas of the house, but still no Lauren. Then, she notices the door is opened. She heads outside to find Lauren with her body-shaped bag, a shovel, and a 6-foot hole in the yard.

Zoe: Lauren? What are you doing here? Its almost 1 A.M.! And what’s with the hole in my yard? And why is your bag here?
Zoe is half asleep but still has a little common sense. Once again, Lauren must think of an answer, but thinks she can fool Zoe.
Lauren: Oooo….you are dreaming Zoe! This is all an illusion!!!! Ooooo!!!!
Zoe: Wait, I’m dreaming? Hmm, that explains why you’re in my yard trying to bury this bag! Ha! Ha…ha…..ha….h…..
Zoe falls over, sound asleep. Lauren lets out a sigh of relief and drags Zoe back inside and puts her on the couch where she was before. Lauren quickly places the body in the hole and covers it up with some dirt and grass to make it look normal. She hides the shovel again and goes back to sleep on the couch. In the morning Zoe wakes her up.
Zoe: Woah! Lauren I had the WEIRDEST dream ever!
Lauren: Oh, you did? I had no dream…What was your dream, uh, about?
Lauren is pleased her plan worked but a little nervous Zoe might notice her bag is gone…
Zoe: I had a dream that I woke up and couldn’t find you! So I searched everywhere and I finally found you outside digging a HOLE! HAHA! Funny, right? Ya I know! So anyway, the hole was like 6 feet deep and the weirdest thing was, that bag with all your clothes in it that I asked you about yesterday was out there too! And you were gonna bury it! HAHAHAHA! Sooooo weird! Right?
Lauren: Ha ha… ya…..weird…..
The rest of the day passes without Zoe noticing the bag, which Lauren is glad of, but she feels the need to get rid of Zoe. She feels she knows too much already and if she finds that hole Lauren will be forced to kill her! It’s a very important decision and Lauren does not want to take the risk of Zoe finding anything out. She must kill her…
End of Scene 2
It is time for Lauren to go home, but Lauren has not yet killed Zoe…so she devises a plan for Zoe to spend the night at her house.
Lauren: Hey Zoe?
Zoe: Yes?
Lauren: You should TOTALLY come over to my house and sleepover I had SO much fun last night! Go ask your mom!
Zoe: Ok! Sounds cool!
Zoe goes to ask her mom if she can sleep over while Lauren waits, eager to kill. Zoe returns with an excited look on her face.
Zoe: Yay! She said yes! Wait here while I go get my stuff. We’re gonna leave in a few so be ready! J This will be so fun!
Lauren: Oh yes, this should be fun, very fun indeed….
A large, evil smile spreads across Lauren’s face as she starts the evil laugh again.
Lauren: mwa…..mwah…..mwahaha…..MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!
 Zoe looks at Lauren as if she is crazy and slowly starts to back out of the room to gather her things. When she is ready, Zoe’s mom drives Zoe and Lauren to Lauren’s house.
Zoe’s Mom: Hey Zoe? Call if you need anything! And call me sometime tomorrow morning so I can come pick you up ok??? Love you! Have fun!
Zoe: Ok mom! I will! Love you too! Bye!
End of Scene 3
It is later that evening and Zoe and Lauren have pitched a tent in Lauren’s backyard. They set out all their stuff inside the tent and light some tikki torches around the yard to make it look cool.
Lauren: Oh Zoe! I forgot to tell you something!
Zoe: Ya?
Lauren: You might want to go to the bathroom before my mom goes to bed!
Zoe: Why…?
Lauren: Because the doors uhh..lock automatically after you shut them…! Ya! And my mom doesn’t want to sit by the door all night just to let us in to go to the  bathroom! I’m sorry!
Zoe:  Oh well then ok I guess! Thanks for telling me ahead of time though! J
Lauren: Anytime my friend, anytime!!!
Zoe and Lauren continue to set up food and drinks inside the tent. It continueously gets darker out and Lauren checks the time. It is 9:48.
Lauren: Uh, Zoe?
Zoe: Yes Lauren?
Lauren: It’s 9:48, which means my mom should be going to bed in about ten minutes. So we should probably go to pot-pot now.
Zoe: Um, ok, but did you just say pot-pot???!!!
Lauren’s eyes become wide and her face turns red.
Lauren: Oops! Uh sorry I meant bathroom! Megan always says pot-pot so I kind of say it out of force of habit!!
Zoe: Ha ha it’s totally fine! I thought it was funny!
Lauren: Ha ha ok then! J
Lauren and Zoe go into the house to go to the bathroom and return shortly. The door “locks” with a click as it shuts behind them. They walk to the tent and sit down.
End of Scene 4
It’s the middle of the night and Zoe is fast asleep. Lauren pretends to be asleep, waiting for the right moment to strike. She has her knife stowed under  her pillow with one hand grasping it. Lauren coughs a little just to test that Zoe’s really asleep. She waits a couple seconds and then slowly props herself up. She nears Zoe slowly, holding the knife in one hand. One wrong move and her cover would be blown. Shes right above Zoe now, ready to plunge the knife into her flesh when all of a sudden, Zoe wakes up! Zoe sits upright.
Zoe: Oh my gosh Lauren! I have to pee!
Lauren stands there frozen with wide eyes, hoping Zoe had not yet seen the knife. But it was too late….
Zoe: Lauren……Why are you holding that knife right above me…….
Lauren: I see you’ve finally realized I’m not who you think I am….and to answer your question, I was just about to end your life.
Zoe: What?! Lauren, I don’t understand! Why would you want to kill me?! We’ve been such amazing friends since fifth grade! Come on Lauren you don’t have to do this!
Lauren: Zoe, Zoe, tisk tisk. If you hadn’t come outside last night and saw me burying my bag in your yard, I wouldn’t be trying to kill you right now! Ha! Silly silly girl! You could’ve blown my cover and now I cannot trust you anymore which is why I’m going to have to kill you.
Zoe: Wait, so that dream last night I had about you burying your bag….you’re saying it WASN’T a dream?! Oh my gosh I should’ve seen this coming! The way you looked at the knife before you cut the brownies…and how your bag was mysterious….and how you laughed evilly as you held the knife! I KNEW something was up! So what was in that bag?!
Lauren: Well, normally I wouldn’t tell you, but since your about to die, I guess I can! In that bag was a body….:)
Zoe:  And who was in that bag…?
Lauren: In the bag was….Alana Morrison.
Lauren: Well, in study hall one day I dropped my pencil. It was just out of my reach…
I distant look takes over Lauren’s face as she looks at nothing as if remembering a flashback.
Lauren: The pencil was, however, closer to Alana. So I asked her to get it. I even said please! But what does she say? She says, “Get it yourself Lauren I’m too busy doing homework that’s due next period just get out of your seat and reach it!” I was FURIOUS! How DARE she tell me to get my own pencil how DARE she use excuses on me! I bet if she knew I was a world class serial killer her answer would’ve been different!! So I had to punish her! Late that night I asked if I could sleep over at her house because Megan was having a friend over. Of course she said yes. Since Alana tends to fall asleep first, it was an easy kill. Too easy, indeed. They’re still looking for her, you know. No one ever guessed it was me! I was questioned with an alibi and said I was sleeping. I buried the knife in the backyard very deep so no one would ever find it! The cops said I’m a cleared suspect, so I got away with it! And now I’m gonna get away with another one if you’d just stop making me explain everything jeez!
Zoe: Oh my God Lauren please don’t kill me!
Lauren: Too late Zoe! You know too much already! Time to pay!
Zoe scrambles to unzipper the tent as Lauren takes a stab at Zoe’s leg, but Zoe’s too fast. She considers screaming but she’s too paralized with fear. She finally escapes out of the tent and runs to hide behind a bush. Lauren gets out of the tent and slowly scans the yard.
Lauren: Oh Zooooeee! Come out come out wherever you are!! I’m not gonna kill you I just want to be your FRIEEEENNDDD.
Zoe’s heart is pounding like crazy. She looks behind her and quickly searches for a hidden escape route where she can go get help. Then she remembers her cell phone and searches her pockets. Nothing. She must’ve left it in the tent. She hears some rustling behind her. She’s so scared so turn around but she has to. She turns her head very slowly around. There’s Lauren. Standing with a crazy look in her eye and the knife in her hand. Zoe screams a blood-curdling scream.
Zoe runs around the other side of the bush. She runs up the hill and through the neighbor’s yard and out onto the street. She runs into the woods, Lauren following close behind.
Lauren: I promise it will be painless! HAHA NOT! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Zoe sees a low branch up ahead. She ducks and it misses her head, but luckily, Lauren is hit square on the forehead! Zoe heres a load thump and turns around to see Lauren lying unconcious on the ground. She is breathing heavily but knows she has to get out of here. She runs back towards Lauren’s house and gathers her things as quickly as she can. She runs down the street and into the night, hoping Lauren will never catch her

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