Downgrade

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a short comic play I wrote two years ago.The basis of the play is about the planet Pluto being downgraded but it's really about the recession and how losing your job can affect your self esteem

Submitted: December 24, 2011

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Submitted: December 24, 2011

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Downgrade

Sirus Did you hear ?

Pluto Yes , just now.

Sirus All hell is going to break loose when the people find out.

Pluto What are you going to do ?

Sirus I’ll have to make an announcement.There isn’t an easy way to

deliver this kind of information but I want to tell the people before the

media get a hold of it.Apart from that, I honestly don’t know what to do.

Pluto Whatever you decide you know you have my full backing.

Sirus Thank you Pluto I knew I could count on you.( sighs )

The opposition are going to have a field day.

Pluto It’s not your fault.

Sirus They’ll be looking for a scapegoat.Who better to choose than me.

Everything we have worked so hard for taken away in one foul swoop.

This will be the end of me.

Pluto It won’t come to that.

Sirus Are you sure ?.

( Sirus and Pluto stand on a platform they are addressing a large crowd of Plutons. )

Sirus Friends we have come to a critical time in our development.You have

worked very hard to ensure that we continue to progress and develop

and for this I thank you.

But now our resolve is being tested.Questions are being asked of

us.Fundamental questions, such as who we are and what we stand

for.Let there be no doubt that our very identity has been called into

question.

( The crowd unsure of the situation murmur their concern )

We have entered an extraordinary time in our History.We have to be

brave and strong and united.( pause ).Our Head of Security gained

access to an Earth relay transmission where it stated that Pluto,our

home, is no longer considered a Planet.

( gasps from the crowd )

I know this comes as a shock to you.It comes as a shock to us all

In essence we have been downgraded

Man in the crowd How can this be ? How can they make such a decision ?

Sirus Nobody is more disappointed with this decision than me but

remember all civilizations face challenges and we must face this

challenge like we have faced countless others.With courage in our

hearts and steel in our determination.

Woman in the crowd What do we do now ?

Sirus We carry on as normal.I want to assure everybody that we are doing

everything in our power to rectify the situation.

Man Did you know anything about this ?

Sirus We had no knowledge that this decision was even being

considered.So please everybody take comfort from the fact that

everything is being done on your behalf to reverse this decision

and to put Pluto back, where she rightfully belongs as a Major

player in the Galaxy.A beacon of light for all to see.

( Half hearted applause from the crowd )

Sirus Now you have a role to play.Go back to your families.The people

who love you and reassure them that everything is going to be

alright.Go now and show them that you are not afraid.

( The crowd leaves in ones and twos )

Pluto That went better than expected.

Sirus We’ve bought ourselves a bit of time at least.

Go home Pluto to your family

Pluto and you ?

Sirus I’ll stay here, I need some time to think.

( Pluto departs leaving Sirus alone on the stage gazing up at the sky )

( Pluto is at his home with his wife Panfrie,they’re listening to the radio)

Newsreader More on our breaking story that Pluto has lost it’s Planet Status.Sirus

the Commander has just stated in a Press Conference that this

extraordinary decision by Earth is just a blip and everything is being

done to rectify the situation.

Dr Cilit Arcadia our Planetary Economics expert.

First of all thank you for joining us at such short notice.

Cilit It’s my pleasure.

Newsreader This is just a blip.

Cilit I’m afraid that this might be more than just a blip.Losing our Planet

Status might be the very first step on the slippery slope to total

anonymity.

Newsreader Mmh.

Cilit It’s all a question of confidence you see.If civilizations from outside

don’t view as a Planet.Then this attacks the very fabric of our

society.The psychological effects alone could be devastating on the

people of Pluto.

Newsreader What types of things can we expect Dr ?

Cilit Well people might experience a variety of different feelings.

Anything from depression to apathy to anger.You could argue that

Pluto and all her inhabitants will experience a drop in their self

esteem.For all civilizations to prosper people must believe and have

faith in them.If this faith is lost, well where do we go from here.?

Newsreader Quite right, now joining me on the line is the Opposition Leader

Harvey Tankerous, Good evening to you sir.

Harvey Good evening.

Newsreader Pluto’s no longer a Planet.Where do we go from here.?

and who’s to blame ?

Harvey Well I’ll deal with your first question first.Where do we go from

here .? I’m afraid I’m obliged to agree with your first speaker Dr

Arcadia.Evening Cilit, I trust you’re in good health.

Cilit Very good Harvey.

Harvey Anyway, because of this decision Pluto may very well fade into

obscurity.A once proud Planet has been humbled and left totally

alienated.This demotion is utterly catastrophic for Pluto and her

people.I lay the blame firmly for this fiasco at the feet of Sirus the

Commander.Years of his failed inward looking policies have

gotten us into this mess.The one constant theme with his

administration has been a total lack of understanding of the

fundamentals.

Newsreader Which are ?

Harvey I don’t want to get dragged into that conversation right now.We

can have that conversation on another day.What I would like to

say is that Sirus the Commander has shown himself to be utterly

incapable of governing a Planet such as Pluto.He has led us into

a very black hole and now we have to find a way out of it.

Cilit I’d have to agree.

Harvey The position of Commander requires a person with fresh ideas,

someone with energy and vision.A person with integrity and

above all a person beyond reproach.

Newsreader Are you such a person ?

Harvey The good people of Pluto know me well.They know my record

and what I stand for and if given the opportunity to be the

Commander I wouldn’t let them down.I would also like to add

that my esteemed colleague Sirus will go down in History as the

Commander who lost Pluto her Planet status.An honour that

I’m sure no other previous Commander would have wanted.

Newsreader We’ll have to leave it there for now.Thank you Cilit

Arcadia and Harvey Tankerous for joining us.I know we

haven’t heard the last of this story and it’s going to just run

and run.But now for some music and considering our

predicament this is a rather apt song.Here’s The Space Cadets

with their smash hit “Lost in Space “.

( Music starts playing Pluto stands up and turns off the radio )

Pluto That’s that , ( sighs ) It’s a disaster really.My parents are going

to be disappointed.They named me after a Planet and now I’m

not a Planet anymore.Where does that leave me ?

Pamela Don’t get carried away.I’m sure they’ll fix the problem as soon

as they can.Anyway,I have to speak to you about Pluto Jnr he’s

gotten into some trouble at school.He got into a fight with a boy

called Saturn.Apparently this boy was taunting him about his

name.

Pluto Kids can be so cruel.I’ll talk to him.Our name might become a

cross we’ll have to bear.

Pamela Don’t be so dramatic.Earth has obviously made a mistake.

Pluto How can a Planet that is light years behind us technologically and

every other way say that we’re not a Planet.It beggars belief.

Pamela They’ll come to their senses.Don’t worry honey you know I love

you no matter what you’re called.We’ll get through this,together

as a family.

Pluto I hope you’re right.

( Sirus sits at his desk.He keeps hearing the same voice over and over again in his head )

Voice off stage The Commander who lost Pluto her Planet status

The Commander who lost Pluto her Planet status.

He’s led us into a very black hole.

He’s led us into a very black hole.

He’s led us into a very black hole.

Sirus No no, this isn’t right.This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.

I haven’t led them into a black hole.I’ve done all I can for this Planet.

I have wept when there have been tragedies and lives have been lost and I

have rejoiced when the people have been happy.

I must find a way to fix this.

I need to contact Earth, but they’re not really ready.

I don’t want to overwhelm them.

But I could send them some kind of sign.

Something small, but just enough to let them know that there’s other life

in the Universe.

( pause )

I’ll send one of our people with a message, an important message to

deliver to the people of Earth.

A message not for the Politicians but for the people.

The message:

Voice off stage Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet.

I’ll send one of our people to spread this message.They can use the

Earth’s Media.I want it so that everywhere the people of Earth look

they’ll see signs reminding them that Pluto is a Planet

Voice off stage Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet.

Hopefully this will drive an appeal from the people of Earth to regain

our status.It’s a long shot but what choice do I have.

Maybe, just maybe we can restore the balance.

( Sirus picks up the phone and rings Pluto )

Sirus Pluto I’ve got a job for you.

( lights fade)

( voice off stage )

Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet.

Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet.

Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet , Pluto is a Planet.


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