Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
We sit and think, on your cold seat,
Cause if we stood, we'd wet our feet.
No matter what comes from our rear,
You always make it disappear.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
The truth be told, we love you Jon!
Cause when we flush, you make it gone.
Hard or soft, yellow or brown,
Down it goes with a gurgling sound.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
But somethings wrong, now I declare,
It spins around, but it's still there.
I better get my credit card,
Or I'll be going in the yard.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
The plumbers here, now I can breath,
You will be working when he leaves.
What he did, I do not care,
I gladly pay for the repair.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
Oh look at this, it's something new,
That little tab makes your water blue!
I truly love my Jon again.
He really is a mans best friend.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
Submitted: November 30, 2011
© Copyright 2023 bobthebuilder. All rights reserved.
Comments
This is quite a load of poem! I actually launched my false teeth (I don't really have false teeth!) across the room, and now they're hanging off the drapes, I laughed so hard! Excellent!
Wed, November 30th, 2011 2:49am
Author
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Are you feeding me a load of crap, or did you really like it?
Tue, November 29th, 2011 7:01pm
Have you no shame? Will you dive into almost anything?
If you forget to drop the seat, your cheeks may flush!
OMG, it is hard to type while laughing!
Great Job Bob!
Author
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I definitely don't take myself serious. I love to write, and I love to laugh. I'm really glad you liked it!
Wed, November 30th, 2011 4:02pm
Oh Man! what are you like!
Irreverent, wait till the carol singers get hold of it. As I read it I found myself trying to fit the words into Little Town of Bethlehem
Should have blamed mike for the idea, he could have been your 'stool' pigeon
Anyways hahaaaahaaaaa Like it
Dibs
Author
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I did set it to a song, if you know it, it fits pretty good. Look at it again and see the summary.
Wed, November 30th, 2011 3:57pm
So keen to read your words, didn't look at the summary
Soz.
Yes it does fit. Gonna hummm it all day. The toilet song hums
I laugh so hard I had to visit my toilet bowl. As I was relieving myself, I found myself humming this. I love the humor you aloud us readers to share with you. I'm going to read more.
Writing is life so keep writing.
Author
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I love that saying. Thanks for visiting. Me and Jon. I'm relieved you liked my little movement in C-major. Remember to wash your hands thoroughly after reading.
Fri, December 2nd, 2011 9:39pm
we should do an album. you and me. make a million dollars. then you could do it out in the yard and no one would care. "oh him? he's rich!" loved it!
Wed, December 7th, 2011 9:59am
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I tell you, I really love your style, and your imagination!
Wed, December 7th, 2011 5:18am
Oh how I love it when I can start my day with a laugh and a smile. :) Thank you. Now I just gotta hope I don't go around singing this all day. Have a great day. :) Sherry
Fri, December 9th, 2011 12:53pm
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I double dog dare you! Ah, the lengths I will go to get my inspiration. Scary, huh?
Fri, December 9th, 2011 5:34am
"Hi, it's TwoStepz house toilet and I would like to tell you your poem is a very nice piece of work. For everytime I have been flushed, I have sent a message to every other toilet to read this piece of work. It seems that you appreciate us toilets a lot more than most humans do! Sometimes they don't even clean us with brushes (don't worry, TwoStepz does)! But still, a wonderful poem and thank you for caring for us toilets!" ^^
See? My toilet likes it too;D!
This made me laugh, just like the rest of the commenters! What other time of year do songs come out so we can mock them?
You should do an edit of the annoying pop song 'Friday'! Though listening it will make you want to shoot yourself in the head, I'm pretty sure you'll make a perfect mockery of it!x
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Hey! My toilet knows your toilet! Jon says they came off the factory line together, and it was a match made in heaven, but, alas, it was not meant to be. For a brief amount of time, their waters spun as one, but they had barely began to explore their love when they were separated, shipped to other parts of the country, parted but not apart, for all waters flow to the sea. And Rebecca Black is the devil!
Fri, December 9th, 2011 3:59pm
Okay, now if anyone had told me I'd find that so bloody funny I wouldn't have believed it and I hesitated to click on it so I could read. Despite some squeamish seconds, you are a funny funny man, and if you can make that stuff funny? Nonpareil, bud.
A classy toilet poem. I lived long enough to read it.
Wonders don't cease. Don't you, either.
Best regards, Wilbur
Author
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Yeah, my wife wouldn't even read it! I sang it to her and she cracked up, then said I was ruining Christmas songs, she didn't want to think about this whenever she heard the original. Did you hear the audio? I sang it while I was... never mind.
Thu, December 22nd, 2011 8:42pm
simply a GIANT FUNNY AWESOME JINGLE!! love this unique one,true to the word terrifc, down to earth hilarious!!!! Oh, toilet bowl, we truly love you! At our cottage, we had an outside toilet, imagine how cold it would be in winter. Today, the snow is falling very sweet, lovely like a soft tune. Stay well,you have a wonderful sense of humour!!
Fri, December 23rd, 2011 3:21pm
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Oh, the joy of indoor plumbing. Glad you're getting snow for Christmas, hope it doesn't cause any problems. Thanks for coming by!
Fri, December 23rd, 2011 4:45pm
This was hilarious!!! Oh toilet bowl, oh toilet bowl, lol!!! Guess it replaces the dog as man's best friend, huh? lol.
Sat, December 24th, 2011 2:33pm
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It may not be warm and fuzzy, and it will never chase a ball, but it's always got our backs, and that's got to count for something. Really glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for dropping in, er, well, you know what I mean.
Sat, December 24th, 2011 7:12am
We sure do take toilets for granted. Good job. That was funny! You have a huge bunch of amazing poems.
Sun, January 8th, 2012 9:58am
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And I wonder if you weren't reading some of them while visiting our friend, well never mind, I don't want to know. Wherever you were when you read this, I thank you.
Sun, January 8th, 2012 1:46pm
very funny and original,i can see you've got a deep love of toilets and a lovely singing voice too.
Mon, January 16th, 2012 7:20am
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Jon is my friend to the end. And your comment is music to my ears. Thank you!
Mon, January 16th, 2012 6:59pm
haha, I've literally never seen (or heard) a poem written about someone's love of toilets before.. :D
Fri, February 17th, 2012 12:35pm
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So it's the first and the best! Whoopie! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.
Fri, February 17th, 2012 5:25am
This is awesome? Want to hear a toilet joke?
Q: What did the toilet bowl say to the piece of poop?
A: Thanks for dropping in.
AHAHAHAHAHA...Whatever. Keep writing poetry - This kind of poetry! It's hilarious!
Author
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Thank you! Drop in any time!
Sat, December 8th, 2012 12:35am
A humorous poem Bob
Fri, January 4th, 2013 1:26pm
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Very glad you dropped by. Thank you.
Sat, January 5th, 2013 8:31am
Hahahaha......
This is silly but nice....
Author
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Thank you. Glad you took the time to read and comment.
Sat, January 5th, 2013 4:46pm
I think you wrote this one after too much christmas cheer. It is heck-a funny if you can stop yourself from visualizing your imagery to vividly.
Thanks, I think!
Nah, I really did like it. It bowled me over!
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Thanks for dropping in, er, I mean leaving a nice, oh, um, I mean thank you so much for taking the time from your busy schedule to sit and read, not to say that you do, on the, well, I think I'll just shut up now.
Sat, January 5th, 2013 6:50pm
Funny! I like to do a bit of toilet humour now and again, but not quite as poetic :)
Wed, January 23rd, 2013 11:53pm
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Thank you for spending a little time on my page!
Wed, January 23rd, 2013 6:55pmFacebook Comments
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bobthebuilder
Sorry, I don't know what came over me, but I'm sure it will pass. And when it does, my friend Jon will take care of it for me!
Wed, November 30th, 2011 2:22am