Toilet Bowl
Poem by: bobthebuilder
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
We sit and think, on your cold seat,
Cause if we stood, we'd wet our feet.
No matter what comes from our rear,
You always make it disappear.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
The truth be told, we love you Jon!
Cause when we flush, you make it gone.
Hard or soft, yellow or brown,
Down it goes with a gurgling sound.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
But somethings wrong, now I declare,
It spins around, but it's still there.
I better get my credit card,
Or I'll be going in the yard.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
The plumbers here, now I can breath,
You will be working when he leaves.
What he did, I do not care,
I gladly pay for the repair.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
Oh look at this, it's something new,
That little tab makes your water blue!
I truly love my Jon again.
He really is a mans best friend.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
How lovely are your flushes.
Oh toilet bowl, Oh toilet bowl,
We clean you with our brushes.
© Copyright 2016 bobthebuilder. All rights reserved.
Comments
Sorry, I don't know what came over me, but I'm sure it will pass. And when it does, my friend Jon will take care of it for me!
This is quite a load of poem! I actually launched my false teeth (I don't really have false teeth!) across the room, and now they're hanging off the drapes, I laughed so hard! Excellent!
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Are you feeding me a load of crap, or did you really like it?
You know what comedian I thought of when I first started reading this, right? Yep, that's the guy. Anyway, I don't know what's funnier, the poem, the comment you left for the reader, or the comment Mike left for you. If Santa Jaws was a big hit with the kids in my family, this will be a Van Damme smack-down. Actually, this could be a song.
Oh, God, I just had a vision of Mikey singing this on the Jon.
"Help!!!"
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Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches! Sing it!
Have you no shame? Will you dive into almost anything?
If you forget to drop the seat, your cheeks may flush!
OMG, it is hard to type while laughing!
Great Job Bob!
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I definitely don't take myself serious. I love to write, and I love to laugh. I'm really glad you liked it!
Your poem has a butt load of appeal! You know should only wipe with toilet paper, the sears catalog is meant for others!
Funny and cute but not TASTEFUL!
I liked it in case you couldn't tell!
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I almost didn't post it because it's just so bad, but, what the heck!
Oh Man! what are you like!
Irreverent, wait till the carol singers get hold of it. As I read it I found myself trying to fit the words into Little Town of Bethlehem
Should have blamed mike for the idea, he could have been your 'stool' pigeon
Anyways hahaaaahaaaaa Like it
Dibs
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I did set it to a song, if you know it, it fits pretty good. Look at it again and see the summary.
So keen to read your words, didn't look at the summary
Soz.
Yes it does fit. Gonna hummm it all day. The toilet song hums
I laugh so hard I had to visit my toilet bowl. As I was relieving myself, I found myself humming this. I love the humor you aloud us readers to share with you. I'm going to read more.
Writing is life so keep writing.
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I love that saying. Thanks for visiting. Me and Jon. I'm relieved you liked my little movement in C-major. Remember to wash your hands thoroughly after reading.
we should do an album. you and me. make a million dollars. then you could do it out in the yard and no one would care. "oh him? he's rich!" loved it!
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I tell you, I really love your style, and your imagination!
Oh how I love it when I can start my day with a laugh and a smile. :) Thank you. Now I just gotta hope I don't go around singing this all day. Have a great day. :) Sherry
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I double dog dare you! Ah, the lengths I will go to get my inspiration. Scary, huh?
"Hi, it's TwoStepz house toilet and I would like to tell you your poem is a very nice piece of work. For everytime I have been flushed, I have sent a message to every other toilet to read this piece of work. It seems that you appreciate us toilets a lot more than most humans do! Sometimes they don't even clean us with brushes (don't worry, TwoStepz does)! But still, a wonderful poem and thank you for caring for us toilets!" ^^
See? My toilet likes it too;D!
This made me laugh, just like the rest of the commenters! What other time of year do songs come out so we can mock them?
You should do an edit of the annoying pop song 'Friday'! Though listening it will make you want to shoot yourself in the head, I'm pretty sure you'll make a perfect mockery of it!x
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Hey! My toilet knows your toilet! Jon says they came off the factory line together, and it was a match made in heaven, but, alas, it was not meant to be. For a brief amount of time, their waters spun as one, but they had barely began to explore their love when they were separated, shipped to other parts of the country, parted but not apart, for all waters flow to the sea. And Rebecca Black is the devil!
Okay, now if anyone had told me I'd find that so bloody funny I wouldn't have believed it and I hesitated to click on it so I could read. Despite some squeamish seconds, you are a funny funny man, and if you can make that stuff funny? Nonpareil, bud.
A classy toilet poem. I lived long enough to read it.
Wonders don't cease. Don't you, either.
Best regards, Wilbur
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Yeah, my wife wouldn't even read it! I sang it to her and she cracked up, then said I was ruining Christmas songs, she didn't want to think about this whenever she heard the original. Did you hear the audio? I sang it while I was... never mind.
simply a GIANT FUNNY AWESOME JINGLE!! love this unique one,true to the word terrifc, down to earth hilarious!!!! Oh, toilet bowl, we truly love you! At our cottage, we had an outside toilet, imagine how cold it would be in winter. Today, the snow is falling very sweet, lovely like a soft tune. Stay well,you have a wonderful sense of humour!!
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Oh, the joy of indoor plumbing. Glad you're getting snow for Christmas, hope it doesn't cause any problems. Thanks for coming by!
This was hilarious!!! Oh toilet bowl, oh toilet bowl, lol!!! Guess it replaces the dog as man's best friend, huh? lol.
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It may not be warm and fuzzy, and it will never chase a ball, but it's always got our backs, and that's got to count for something. Really glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for dropping in, er, well, you know what I mean.
We sure do take toilets for granted. Good job. That was funny! You have a huge bunch of amazing poems.
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And I wonder if you weren't reading some of them while visiting our friend, well never mind, I don't want to know. Wherever you were when you read this, I thank you.
very funny and original,i can see you've got a deep love of toilets and a lovely singing voice too.
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Jon is my friend to the end. And your comment is music to my ears. Thank you!
haha, I've literally never seen (or heard) a poem written about someone's love of toilets before.. :D
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So it's the first and the best! Whoopie! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.
This is awesome? Want to hear a toilet joke?
Q: What did the toilet bowl say to the piece of poop?
A: Thanks for dropping in.
AHAHAHAHAHA...Whatever. Keep writing poetry - This kind of poetry! It's hilarious!
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Thank you! Drop in any time!
A humorous poem Bob
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Very glad you dropped by. Thank you.
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