The Art of being Emotionally Drained

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Feeling like you've gave every piece of energy and devotion into a person only for them to dispose of it carelessly.

Submitted: December 14, 2011

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Submitted: December 14, 2011

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\"I should of never told you I loved you!\" had to have been the worst thing that he has ever said to me. I never thought that we would get to that point; so far off from where we started. It was supposed to be a one night stand. He wasn't supposed to mean anything to me seeing that I could not stand him the first time I met him. But he was the perfect guy and couldn't anything go wrong. We got to know each other on levels that I didn't think I would allow another into. A year and a half later, three girlfriends later and I never got the official title. A hundred \"i love you\" later and I was still not good enough to get your full devotion and affection. I put 1000% of me into the thought of us being a \"Us\" and I couldn't even get you to look me into my eyes. Instead, I settled for the lies, the sex behind my back, the new girlfriends each week in my face, me driving out in the middle of the night to please you for me to leave in tears alone. For you to come back when you felt it was convenient and I let you, for you to tell me I wasn't good enough to be yours but I was just good for sex and money. The pregnancy, the abortion, the fights, the clinic trips and yet, I felt like I couldn't breathe without you. I was suffocating at the thought of you being happy anywhere else. Sleepless nights wondering where you were in hopes that you were thinking about me as much as I was thinking about you. I hated how I lost myself in you. I hated how strong I was until I loved you and became weak. I hated how sick I was because I loved you more than I loved myself and I was willing to do anything to keep me and you a \"thing\". I don't think you understood the severity of my heart and soul ripped and burned because all I yearned for was for you to show adoration for me like I did you. It's like I breathed you. Your touch kept me, your sex drove me and your words scorned me. Never thought we would be here, not here, not happy together, not in love, not being able to go a day without Bliss. You were everything to me and learning to live with the fact that there isn't a \"We\" has been tiring. It took a day to know and love you but it's taking an eternity to forget you.


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