Missing the Signs

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Jokes  |  House: Booksie Classic
Funny bullshit story

Submitted: August 18, 2012

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Submitted: August 18, 2012

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Missing the Sings

 

The front door opens; no knock.

“Oh, hey Chad, what’s up?” I say with a deep sigh

Chad was a friend I could rely on to find party but I could never take seriously; he tries so hard to be cool and will just lie to your face. He is 5’5 and one of the skinniest people I have ever seen. His stomach is roughly 2-3 inches in from his ribcage.

“duuude, bro I was soo wasted last night” Chad says with a sluggish chuckle

“Oh yeah?”

“Bro, I drank like 2 gallons of 151!”

“Damn, that is a lot of alcohol” Is say disbelief while nodding

You would simply die if you drank that.

“Yeah man and you should have seen the bitches that were all over me too.” He says like its an annoyance.

“Okay so get this” Chad says excitingly

“So there I was just being as chill as fuck sippin’ on my 151 when all of a sudden this random smokin’ hot bitch comes up to me and asks, ‘omg are you chad?’ So I was all, ‘bitch of course I am, now what the fuck do you want?’” chad says in a very serious tone.

“Damn” I say trying not to laugh.

“Yeah so then this bitch starts taking off her clothes right in front of everyone and screaming, ‘Chad please fuck me right now’ So then I say, ‘damn it bitch I don’t have time for this shit, I have like 10 other bitches to fuck before you, so you can just take a number and get in line!’”

“Of course, she needed to realize” I say struggling not to laugh.

“No shit! Then this bitch just attacks me screaming, ‘Chad you’re so amazing take me now’.”

“What did you do then?” I say in utter disbelief.

“I just decided to fuck her” Chad said

“Wait right in front of everyone?” I say playing along

“Yeah then shit starts to get weird! All of a sudden like every girl in the party just gets naked and jumps on me! The lineup of girls I already had going ‘jumped’ to the front of the line” He says still in a very serious tone, thinking I will actually still believe him.

“Yeah that is weird, so how did it end” I say

“I satisfied every single one, haha!” He says

“Sound like you had quite a night, when did this happen?”

“At Stokers house man” chad says trying to legitimize his story

“Wait are you talking about Rachel?” I say knowing the truth

“Yeah man” He says with a stupid smirk

“I must have drank my ass off too man, because I thought I say Rachel simply glanced at you then ignored you all night.” I say subtly calling him out.

“Uh, yeah dude you must have been smashed hahaha” he laughed in a worried voice.

Chad looked around for a bit then said, “Well I should probably get up on out of here”

“Okay man well thanks for the story, make sure to give me an update on tonight’s bullshit, uh I mean story.”

“Yeah last night was kinda mellow; tonight’s going to be bumpin!”

“Later” I say

The door shuts; he didn’t come back the next day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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