Am I real?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Dislocation continues, the line between reality and the surreal is blurring.

Is this happening to someone else or to me? Is anything real?

How would you know if something was real?

All in all a very bad day

Submitted: May 25, 2008

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Submitted: May 25, 2008

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Am I Real?
 
Is this real?
I touch the veil
It collapses beneath my fingers
Nothing is left
Nothing was there
 
Am I real?
I touch myself
My fingers fall through me
I am not here
I am not real
 
Are you real?
I touch you
You dissolve in front of me
You were not here
You are not real
 
Is the pain real?
I feel it
Does it belong to someone else?
I cannot touch it
It is not real
 
Are the tears real?
I do not weep them
I do not feel them dampen my face
I do not cry
They are not real
 
Is my soul real?
I cannot see it
I cannot hold it in my hands
I do not feel its presence
It is not real
 
Is love real?
I cannot touch it
I cannot possess it
I do not feel loved
It is not real
 
Is this knife real?
I can hold it
I can feel it cut my skin
I can see what it does
I do not feel the pain
 
Is this wound real?
I can touch it
I can see the blood
I can open it wider
It is not on me
 
Is the blood real?
I see it ooze
I watch it drip onto the floor
I do not own the blood
It is not real
 
Are the drugs real?
I can hold them
I swallow them as I must
Then they don’t exist anymore
I did not take them
They are not real
 
Are the dreams real?
I can feel them
I can hear them in my sleep
I can see them in colour
I cannot hold them
The dreams are not real
 
Are the voices real?
They scream into my mind
I have to listen to them
They tell me what I am
I cannot see them
The voices are not real
 
 
The blade seems real
I hold it in shaking hands
I worship the point
I sacrifice myself upon the edge
In ecstasy I scourge myself
The pain is not mine
 
The release is real
All the pain I held inside
A spastic ejaculation of need
A rapture of agony
The need is real
 
I cannot amputate the pain
I can only replace it
Another pain overwhelms the old
I punish my body
I am the executioner
 
Is this real?
Is this happening to me?
Are those my screams?
Are these my tears?
Is this my blood?
 
Is my heart real?
I cannot hear it beat
I cannot feel my pulse
It is not real
I am dead
 
Boneman 25/05/2008
 
©Boneman productions 2008
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


© Copyright 2017 boneman. All rights reserved.

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