I believe, a smile can hide a thousand insecurities

Reads: 3809  | Likes: 4  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 4

Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

I had to write a I believe for english the first week.
This is what I wrote.

This I believe

I believe a smile can hide a thousand insecurities.

I am sixteen fixing to be seventeen and I have grown very familiar with putting on a smile so it hides everything you feel so nobody knows something is wrong.

To hide my simple problems, to hide my biggest fear or even to hold back every tear, I smile. Around my sophomore year in high school my “smile” became my mask and my depression got worse. I was becoming my worst enemy more than ever before. I was pushing everybody I cared for further away for I did not want them to be close to me.

The days grew longer and my mornings became more dreadful, each time I opened my eyes I saw everything on my body that I hated, it only made my depression worse. Nobody knew anything but I didn’t want them to. I had been fighting this battle for about three years and just because this year had been the worst didn’t mean I was going to open myself up. My body and mind was a war zone, constantly telling me what a failure I was telling me I would never be good enough no matter how hard I tried. My depression wasn’t just a mental thing it was physical, it hurt to move, to talk, and to even write. It was exhausting to do it all. Some days just felt like my body was a puddle, a puddle of nothing. My brain felt like exploding and I was corroding. My eyes were so heavy all the time ,they wanted nothing more than to be shut just like I wanted nothing more than to feel alive.

During school though I was just another teenager who had friends and laughed, joked who was so secure about whom I was. Nobody saw the color of life slowly drain out of my eyes .They saw the smile, that’s all they needed to see.

It was all so bad I just stopped going to school. I stayed in bed as much as I could; life was draining out of me. I didn’t even want to wake up and face anybody or anything; it took so much out of me. Took so much to say simple words to people, took so much to hide what my hidden disease was doing to me. I had my own battle and putting on that face of happy I was also fighting everybody else’s battle. I had scars to hide and frown to turn upside down. It was like I was two people I was the person who I saw and who wanted to hide away but then I was the person who was always happy and was always making sure everybody was happy before myself. When I did go to school however a smile was my best friend, “I’m fine” was my favorite word if anybody asked how I was feeling. I was an actor for a day and a good one at that..

Because of all of this and so much more I always try to make somebody’s day even if I can’t make my own. I look deeper into people, other than just the surface.

Submitted: September 23, 2012

© Copyright 2023 boobearlover. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:



I think that its amazing how you can open up on here. Every word you said, made me realize that if your making through it maybe i can as well. You. Give. Hope

Tue, November 13th, 2012 3:37pm


Wow this comment has made my whole day and maybe even week. I can;t thank you enough for commenting on my work muchless writitng what you wrote. I want you to know it means the world to me what you said and I take it to heart all of it. I write for this very reason so maybe somebody can get something out of it maybe if I can't someboy else won't have to know that their alone and that there are people who do go through the same things as other people and If you ever feel alone you can always come on my oage and comment me and I will be here for you .

Tue, November 13th, 2012 6:20pm


Awwwwh you seems like a great person! Offer goes both ways im here as well. And there needs to be more people like you out there. You dont only want to write but you want to send messages through it saying we arent alone and we get it by just relating to what your going through. Im glad the comment made your day :) you deserve it.

Wed, November 14th, 2012 5:51am


Thank you so much darling

Wed, November 28th, 2012 3:28pm

Facebook Comments

More True Confessions Essays