Let my silent words show you threw my maze of a life ,
threw my rollercoaster of pain.
lets see how much anger and pain can course threw my vains before i just
become posion and vial .
take a look , deep into my black hole soul .
see my blood boil .
see how when it does my smile stays unbroken
deeper look- see when i close my eyes how my whole body feels free well it is for now anyway
see when i bleed how i go numb
see when everybody is gone my smile is worn out
NO you dont see thats because you never tryed to look
Submitted: February 24, 2012
© Copyright 2022 boobearlover. All rights reserved.
Comments
that was beautiful , Keep it up.
Sun, February 26th, 2012 10:54amIn line 13, it should be tried.
This is an emotional poem, and I read it while listening to a mournful song, and now I'm sad.
Good work!
A sad poem I like the last line...Well written
Sun, March 11th, 2012 7:35amMmkay. I really like the poem. It's dark and I enjoy reading things like that. But when you want to lead a person through something you don't use 'threw' you use 'through'. Other than that it was wonderful!
Tue, March 13th, 2012 4:41pmOverlooking your spelling errors, :) this poem is really honest and it talks about a subject many can relate to when not being noticed or heard. I'm so sorry you feel this way and if you wanna talk just go to my page! :} I LOVED the last line!!!! Many people don't even try to see what is wrong with others, they think if they just ignore it, then it'll go away, sometimes it does..in really bad ways.. :( I'm glad you are expressing your emotions through this site, I hope that this is a good outlet for you and you continue to publish your works to ease your troubled mind and heart. You seem like a really caring person and I hope that everything gets better :) Greaaaatttt poem!!!
Mon, March 19th, 2012 12:58am
Author
Reply
yeahh i know i apologize for my spelling , im working on that dear , its okay hunnie , thank you very much . yeahh that is very true . i agree with 100 percent.
yeah thats how i get out most of emotion is threw my writing
i try to be . i know ppl need somebody in there life who will be there for them and can understand and thats what i try my hardest to do
thank tou very much :D
I really loved this poem! keep it up and truely ur really good im jelous haha.:)
Wed, March 28th, 2012 12:26amBeautifully written :) keep it up
Fri, March 30th, 2012 5:32pmFacebook Comments
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jackbreedon
this is a beautiful poem!! Keep me updated? :)
Fri, February 24th, 2012 8:07pmAuthor
Reply
thank you very very much :) and yea i will
Fri, February 24th, 2012 12:11pm