Arranged Marriage: My Thoughts

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic

These are my thoughts on arranged marriage. This is an English assignment for school. Enjoy! :D


Arranged Marriage: My Thoughts

By: Tianna Woo

 

Arranged marriage is when two people are destined to get married when they are the appropriate age. My grandma on my mother’s side had an arranged marriage. Her spouse that she married however died when my mom was just 14 years old. Pity. I never got to meet him.

 

This system was thought to be one way to learn to love a person. Instead of having to chase another person you dearly love, only to find out that they don’t love you back, you get to learn to love a person you have no experience with. It sounds scary at first, but did you know that arranged marriages have a way higher rate of successfully working as opposed to marriage by choice? Now that’s an intriguing fact.

 

In my opinion, despite that arranged marriages actually work better than marriages by choice, I think that the person should get to pick who they want to marry whether it works or not. It’s just not right. I mean imagine you dreading to have to marry someone you don’t love. It just loses its effect really. THE CHILD SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE THEIR OWN SPOUSE.

 

Many people’s question for arranged marriage is: how would dating work? Going on a date with someone you have really no affection with is almost like a blind date except you know exactly who the person is. If I was going on a date with someone my parents arranged a marriage with, oh, I’d be shivering just by the thought of it. I’m not letting someone decide my future soul mate.

 

If my parents have chosen someone for me to marry in the future, my obvious reaction would be to rebel and argue for my rights of marriage. I do not want an arranged marriage. I wish to choose my own mate unlike some other people in the world. I know some may disagree with me but it is my self opinion. I cannot date someone I don't love. That is just not how I roll.

 

Thank you very much in advance for reading my thoughts on arranged marriage. My thoughts may differ from many others, it’s good to express your self opinion, right? Anyway, these are my thoughts on this topic.



Submitted: March 09, 2014

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Comments

Subhrapattnaik

Hey Tianna, well written! I had similar thoughts before I was married. I thought arranged marriages should cease to exist.. However, after about 3.5 years of my love marriage, I have come to know that all marriages are the same... whether love or arranged, they bring with them the same challenges and the same happiness...Finally everything starts revolving around the magic word : "ADJUST"

Thu, July 17th, 2014 10:12am

Nancy1724

what I really hate about arranged married is that you must love that person he/she is your future spouse so marriage without love ??? doesn't seem interesting so you just get to the point where you convince yourself that you're in love sometimes it works and they fall in love and sometimes it's one big lie and they never loved or even liked each other sounds alot like a business deal huh?

Sat, July 19th, 2014 3:45am

wily geist

In America you have a fifty fifty chance of marriage going down in flames. I like your piece, but I think that if you look up the stats you will find that arrange marriages have a higher success rate. It could be that arrange is a forced marriage that has to work.

Sat, August 2nd, 2014 4:37pm

Nico Casale

You do make some good points, but think about this: in a lot of societies where arranged marriage was a thing people got married very young (roughly 13 or 14), that being said, they essentially grew up together, matured mentally and sexually together, and thus became adults that fit perfectly with one another. Now, if you think about it that way, doesn't that make a lot more sense than trying to see if you MIGHT be compatible with someone? It essentially makes you compatible with them.

Sun, August 10th, 2014 3:05pm

Stephanie Young

I love your essay! I like how you emphasized that it was ONLY YOUR OPINION and you weren't speaking for the world. Clears a lot of stuff up!
You are very talented, and I hope you keep writing! Very nice piece!

Sun, August 10th, 2014 11:27pm

authorfcharles

I love your essay, I feel the same and I think that the person that you married should be by choice not by religion believe and such, keep up the great work

Tue, August 26th, 2014 10:24am

kanza13

marriage is all about compromising and understanding so it doesnt matter either its love or arrange.. u have to compromise at any cost...

Sat, September 13th, 2014 10:54pm

kanza13

marriage is all about compromising and understanding so it doesnt matter either its love or arrange.. u have to compromise at any cost...

Sat, September 13th, 2014 10:54pm

Madigarrett441

i think you did a great jod. i hate arrange marriages because you dont have freedom and also because its just wrong.

Sun, September 14th, 2014 8:45pm

Gihani

It's a good piece of writing.. in our part of the world (Asian Sri Lanka)...arranged Marriages has a big say, there is no garuntee that it would workout to be a perfect one but neither does a love marriage has that gurantee...Its simply comprimising and understading..............

Fri, September 19th, 2014 2:39pm

naimul121212

I think arrange or love doesnt make a difference...when you are married both kinds of couples face the same challanges...they r not girl friend boy friend any more...they are husband and wife
.In both cases u have to adjust ,in both cases comes ups n downs.
In my opinion u can learn to love a person after being bound to them...speaking from experience...;)

Fri, September 19th, 2014 3:17pm

Sunset on Amphetamines

My best friend, who is originally from China, Chenji already has a marriage partner. His parents have already planned it out. He said to me that he would rather pick someone for himself, because he has a girlfriend who he loves very much. Once hes 18, they will have to split and he wont be able to marry the woman he loves. He often contradicts this too though, because he says that this way he can be sure to have a family. Im not sure what to think of it really...

Thu, September 25th, 2014 8:10pm

thatdevonchick

I really enjoyed this essay and your views on arranged marriage. I have such a torn opinion on the pros and cons of this topic, I'm glad people still think about it!

Mon, September 29th, 2014 3:06am

jade162

Very interesting!

Sun, October 5th, 2014 9:26pm

samantha32

What I find to be the most true:

"Ultimately, success in a marriage is just a matter of chance"
-Jane Austen

Sat, October 11th, 2014 8:31pm

samantha32

If you have the time, read my story and leave comments. Its a really short story, but has a deep point...it will force you to ponder over it for a while.
http://www.booksie.com/true_confessions/short_story/samantha32/a-matter-of-trust

Sat, October 11th, 2014 9:56pm

Sakthi

My thought on this is it should be our choice to decide whom we marry, I can’t marry someone who is selected by my parents, just because he has a well paying job, he is a high profile candidate and the most important thing is, he belongs to our community and religion. Most of the marriages are decided based on these factors in my country. No one really cares for the guys or the girls wish.

Sat, October 25th, 2014 11:12am

Yuvleen

I don't know if I agree with you. Yes a person should get to pick but they kind of do. Their parents get a few guys and they "pick" which one they like best. Also later on in their marriage the couple starts falling in love. And its been scientifically proven that then their love is stronger the love you would've picked in the beginning. Most regular couples (who aren't arrange married) first love each other then start hating each other and thinking about divorce although arranged couples first start of not really knowing each other and later their love becomes SUPER strong. Well, you can be right but this was just my opinion.

Mon, November 3rd, 2014 3:45am

Yuvleen

I don't know if I agree with you. Yes a person should get to pick but they kind of do. Their parents get a few guys and they "pick" which one they like best. Also later on in their marriage the couple starts falling in love. And its been scientifically proven that then their love is stronger the love you would've picked in the beginning. Most regular couples (who aren't arrange married) first love each other then start hating each other and thinking about divorce although arranged couples first start of not really knowing each other and later their love becomes SUPER strong. Well, you can be right but this was just my opinion.

Mon, November 3rd, 2014 3:46am

metto

nice

Wed, November 12th, 2014 9:26pm

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