Love Too Painful

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Kate and Cameron...if only the love weren't so painful...

Submitted: November 28, 2009

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Submitted: November 28, 2009

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Only then did I see the potential between Cameron and I. He was beautiful. Not in the sense of an Abercrombie god, but in the sense of a golden heart, a heart so big that love for me and other girls to come could easily be contained. Though of course, love between us was difficult to see. I loved him…no doubt in my mind questioned this. Cameron was y dearest friend, the one person in the world I would keep. He was what I needed. But, shortly after being his friend, I fell in love. I feel hard and recklessly, not knowing what I was getting myself into. Not seeing the heartache ahead. It didn’t matter then, and it doesn’t matter now. So now, the only thing I can consider, is this: Is it worth it? “Why are you here?” I asked him, as he stood in my doorstep. He had come over to see my, for no reasons I knew. But now standing there, in my sweats and t-shirt, I truly saw why he had come. I just had to hear it from his lips. “I love you.” Was all he said. My heart simply stopped. I stopped breathing. Before I knew what was going on, I was in my coat and boots, and out the door…going on a walk with him on a cold November night. After many long minutes of silence, I spoke. “You…you love me.” I said this as a statement. If I were to ask the question, I might receive a no. “Yeah…I have for so long.” “No.” Was all I said. I couldn’t afford to lose any more of my heart I had lost. Countless jerky boyfriends lead to a destroyed heart, one I couldn’t bear to hurt again. “No?” “No…you can’t love me…” “Why? I do love you Kate.” “I wish you were real. I keep wishing I wasn’t afraid.” I said to mainly myself. “I don’t understand.” Cameron said, confusion knotting his insanely handsome features. “If I love you, the path ahead is a hurtful one. If I don’t…what can happen to me? I’ve loved you before, and the pain is greater than the prize. You are a fictional version of who I need.” “How can I be fictional? I’m standing right in front of you.” “You can’t be real. You’re far too perfect.” I left Cameron there, completely stunned. I walked away towards the house, crying softly to myself. “I love you.” I said, through the tears. I was saving myself. I was selfish for this reason. But I couldn’t fear pain again…I would never be able to.


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