The Most Outrageous Crew on The Booksie Boat!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Surprise this isn't written by Lionheart! In fact it is a creative collaboration from DarkFairy and Chicka19. Written for Lionheart, but we hope that all of Booksie will enjoy it as well!

Submitted: July 24, 2008

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Submitted: July 24, 2008

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It was sweltering day on the Booksie boat. The sun shone brightly, not a cloud in sight. The only shade came from the occasional seagull that passed overhead. The Booksie crew was slaving away under the control of the ruthless, and slightly insane captain, Lionheart.

“Reader’s Voice row faster, I don’t care if you’re tired! And where are my jesters, I want to be laughing!” FunnyBunny and Kittycat moaned from the stern of the boat. Lionheart walked over to his two jesters, and hovered over them. “What is wrong with you two?”

FunnyBunny looked up lazily at her captain. “It’s too hot to be funny. And Kittycat has already bitten off her nails from the strain of the heat.” FunnyBunny gazed over at Kittycat. Lionheart followed her gaze, Kittycat was huddled in a ball, rocking back and forth, staring at her once long fierce nails that were now gnarled stubs.

Lionheart shook his head in disgust. “Surely DarkFairy is doing her job in this heat?” Lionheart walked over to his steering wheel and stared up into the crow’s nest to see if DarkFairy was keeping a look out. But alas she was not. There DarkFairy was at her post, but not watching the horizon, she was hanging over the railing with her telescope, staring at the deck boards. “DarkFairy!” Lionheart yelled. DarkFairy had been sleeping and was startled by Lionheart’s beckoning. She jerked up. The telescope fell from DarkFairy’s grip, plummeting toward the deck below.

FunnyBunny and Kittycat stepped up behind Lionheart as they watched gravity take affect on the telescope. Standing below Amity Willows was watching as well, but rather than the telescope, she was watching who it was about to hit, “Umm guys…” Amity Willows pointed, across the deck. All eyes turned, shock, and terror arose in gasps as the victim was soon realized to be A Darker Heart! Before anyone could utter a warning A Darker Heart stepped beneath the telescopes descending path.

“Who hit me with that!” A Darker Heart screamed in rage. Everyone fell silent, except for one person. Lionheart bursted out with laughter, “HAhAhAHAHaH. That was priceless,” Lionheart took a deep breath, to calm himself down,” I needed a good laugh.” FunnyBunny and Kittycat took three steps back. “Lionheart!” A Darker Heart was furious. Rampaging past Amity Willows A Darker Heart retrieved her double sided ax. Seeing what she held Amity Willows barricaded A Darker Heart from beheading Lionheart.

“A Darker Heart, calm down, breath, in and out, feel the rhythm of the waves and let them soothe you.” Air had come up from meditating in the women’s bunk. She held a struggling A Darker Heart by the shoulders and repeated her words, “Calm down, breath, in and out, feel the rhythm of the waves and let them soothe you.” A Darker Heart gradually came to a serene state of mind.

DarkFairy swung down from the crow’s nest, landing in front of A Darker Heart. “I’m sorry A Darker Heart, this heat made me tired, and my palms all sweaty. Are you okay?

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s okay, the heat is getting to me too. I think the heat is making Lionheart come off his rocker more than usual.”

“You’re right, I think he needs a little cool down. I have an idea. I think everyone could benefit from this, lets get everyone together when Lionheart goes down to take his nap and I’ll tell you everything.”

With that A Darker Heart left and spread the word to the whole crew, and DarkFairy climbed back up into the crow’s nest so Lionheart wouldn’t get suspicious.

~~~

The Booksie crew was gathered at the stern of the boat so Chicka19 could overhear the plan, all except Reader’s Voice for Lionheart would know if the boat stopped moving that something was wrong.

“So what’s the plan DarkFairy,” said Gerabel? Everyone nodded in agreement eager to hear what DarkFairy had concocted in her head.

“Well as we all know Lionheart gets very annoyed when Chicka19 get let loose on the boat right?” No disagreement. “My plan is to untie her and let her run around the ship, but what he doesn’t know is that this is just a diversion for what is really in store.” The crew leaned in to hear better in excitement. “We will all be going about our business to make him happy, but someone is going to have to distract him while I untie Chicka19. That’s where our new members come in.” Reaper, Poet3, Hiralarious, and Punishment all beamed. “Reaper and Poet3 I want you two to have an argument, that will get Lionheart’s attention. When you get loud enough, Hirarlarious will jump into the fight and start yelling at you to for yelling because you’re giving her a headache.” Reaper and Poet3 giggled trying to keep the fits of laugher down, knowing that they would never have a real life fight with each other.

“Now once you have Lionheart’s attention I will run over and untie Chicka19, then Punishment this is where you come into play,” DarkFairy gestures towards Punishment, “Once she is untied you chase her around the boat like a mad man.” Punishment smirked at this, he would surely enjoy chasing one of his friends like a mad man. “I’ll casually stand near the stern of the boat like I had nothing to do with it. Lionheart will hear Chicka19’s shrill laughter, and turn around to see that she has been set loose. Of course with me standing near the stern he will assume I did it. Once he asks me this I want you,” DarkFairy points to Chicka19, “to come stand by my side since this plan has a lot to do with you. Lionheart will of course get all mad and red in the face like he always does. But when he comes storming at us, then the true plan will unfold.” All except Chicka19 stared at DarkFairy with questioning eyes. “You see Chicka19 and I have been planning to over power Captain Lionheart one of these days and that day is today. So again once Lionheart has made his way toward us he will yell for me to tie Chicka19 back up. But rather than obeying our loving captains words. Chicka19 and I will turn on Lionheart and throw him overboard. If he should try to escape. A Darker Heart I want you to grab him and hold him down and you can have the honor of tossing him off. Once he is gone Chicka19 and I will govern this ship as co-captains!” The crew exclaimed a low cheer at DarkFairy’s and Chicka19’s cunning scheme.

~~~

Several hours had passed since the crew had spoken of their treacherous plan. The beloved captain woke from his three hour nap blissfully unaware of the danger that would soon come crashing down on his world.

Captain Lionheart walked up to the upper deck of his ship and stared out over his precious steering wheel, and a look of amazement over came his face. “My lousy crew is actually working!” Lionheart rubbed his yellow, sleep encrusted eyes in disbelief. But he was not dreaming. Reader’s Voice was rowing at a faster pace than normal, FunnyBunny and Kittycat were practicing silly faces and rolling with laughter at each other. Amity was taking inventory of their weapon stock, while A Darker Heart oversaw that Reader’s Voice kept rowing, giving him a death glare every once in a while to remind him who was in charge. Air, well she always is doing her own thing so Lionheart didn’t care where she was at the moment. Looking up DarkFairy was sitting in the crow’s nest peering in all directions for signs of trouble. The sound of Chicka19 could be heard coming from the stern of the ship, “Good that means she is still tied down,” Lionheart said with a grin. And Gerabel was leaning over the boat as usual trying to catch a fish. Then there was his four new crew members. “Where are they?” Lionheart began scanning the ship for signs of his new members. But it didn’t take long to find them, Lionheart soon found them by the sound of yelling coming up the steps towards him.

“The chicken!”

“No way the egg.”

“Chicken, chicken, chicken!”

“Egg, egg, egg, egg. Ha I said it four times, that’s one more than yours!”

“Well then how about this, chicken times infinity, ha!”

“Egg times infinity plus one, beat you!”

Poet3 punches Reaper in the arm, “You can’t plus infinity, it goes on forever.”

Reaper rubs his arm, and watches as it turns a bright red. “Oh yes I can.”

“No you can’t!”

“Can.”

“Can’t”

Lionheart sighed in frustration, sliding his hand down his face as he watched the two argue. Then from seemingly no where Hiralarious was between the two yelling, “STOP IT! YOU’RE GIVING ME A HEADACE!”

“This nonsense has to stop!” Lionheart dragged Reaper and Poet3 by their ears over to the center of the upper deck. “Hiralarious go do whatever it is that you’re not doing right now,” Lionheart waved dismissing Hiralarious, Hiralarious huffed and left. “What is going on here! You two can’t be serious the chicken didn’t come first.”

“Ha!” Reaper laughed pointing at Poet3. Poet3 blew a lock of hair from her eyes in reply.

“I wasn’t finished. The egg didn’t come first either.”

“Ha, ha!” Poet3 laughed mocking Reaper, “Wait a minute if we are both wrong what did come first?”

“A Monkey came first.” Reaper and Poet3 stared blankly at Lionheart. “Ugh, if I must explain.”

~~~

This was the perfect opportunity. Lionheart was distracted with Reaper and Poet3, this was her chance. DarkFairy quietly set down her telescope, and used her stealth the climb down to the stern. She walked up to a singing Chick19.

“Row, row, row the Booksie boat, gently down the Atlantic Ocean, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a booksie dream.”

“Psst…Chicka19.”

“Hmm, oh DarkFairy, is everything ready?”

“Yep, Lionheart is rambling something to Reaper and Poet3. They don’t look like they can take much more rambling, so we better get you untied fast. Hold on tight.” Chicka19 raised her arms to grab the edge of the boat as DarkFairy retrieved her kunai-knife that was strapped to her leg. DarkFairy drove the knife down quick, the fiber of the frail rope (Lionheart bought cheap rope) snapped at the force, like ripping a piece of cloth in two Chicka19 was freed from her bindings. DarkFairy pulled Chicka19 up onto the deck, and immediately Chicka19 bolted. On queue Punishment began to pursue.

“Oh Chicka19!” Chick19 turned around and squealed, for Punishment had a crazed look on his face. The plan was working. The other members of the crew laughed and pointed at the site. Even Reader’s Voice stopped to take in the newly provided entertainment.

~~~

“And that is why the monkey came first.” Reaper and Poet3 just stared at Lionheart, dumbfound expressions written on their faces. “Ugh, you two are hopeless.” Lionheart hears the shrill laughter of Chicka19, but it isn’t coming from the front of the boat. Lionheart turned around to see Punishment chasing Chicka19 around the deck, the rest of the crew watching in amusement. “Who let Chicka19 down!” Lionheart looked over to the stern, DarkFairy was leaning casually against the railing. “DarkFairy! Did you let her down!?” Lionheart stormed his way down the steps and over to DarkFairy. Perfect DarkFairy thought. Chicka19 came to a stop next to DarkFairy. “Did you let her down?”

“What gives you the idea that I let her down, Punishment was the one chasing her?” DarkFairy gave a sly, ‘I did do it’, smirk.

“Don’t lie to me, this is worse than touching my steering wheel. Okay on second thought no it isn’t.” Lionheart took a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure no one was approaching his precious. “Tie her back up this instant!”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

DarkFairy and Chicka19, burst out in laughter. “Hahahaha, no!” they shout together.

“What?” Lionheart had a puzzled look on his face. He looked back at DarkFairy and Chicka19, both were looking at each other, then they turned to look at Lionheart, evil smiles spread across both crew members faces. They started walking toward Lionheart. “What’s going on here?” Lionheart took a shaky step back.

“We are getting back at you for mistreatment and neglect,” said DarkFairy.

“Mis-, mis-, mistreatment, neglect, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Another step back. Lionheart wasn’t liking the look of this, he tried to sound brave and unmoved. “I’m not afraid of you, I’ve treated you with the best care a captain could ever give his crew.” Lionheart stood erect and stuck out his chest.

Chicka19 walked up to Lionheart and raised a finger to Lionheart’s chest. Pushing Lionheart back down to his previous shaking form. “You’re a pathetic excuse for a captain, and we are taking over this vessel. Lionheart bolted at these words for his quarters. DarkFairy and Chicka19 in hot pursuit. Lionheart’s quarters were below the upper deck, he was a few strides away, he made it. Lionheart heaved a sigh of relief as he bolted the door and heard the banging cries of DarkFairy and Chicka19.

“Open up Lionheart, you can’t stay in there forever!” cried DarkFairy, pounding fiercely on the wooden form.

“Will give you a cherry ripe if you surrender!” Chicka19 giggled.

“Oh yes I can watch me, and I don’t like cherry ripe anymore,” Lionheart replied sticking out his tongue. Oh how he really wanted a cherry ripe right now, no he shouldn’t think that. “Hehehe they’ll never get me to come out.” Something moved in the shadows of Lionheart’s quarters. “Who’s there?” No response. Lionheart, gulped, and took a step forward. “Hel-.” Lionheart was cut off as a hand covered his mouth the other held his arm behind his back.

~~~

“Lionheart!” screamed DarkFairy. But she knew Chicka19 and her plan would be followed through. Just as DarkFairy was about to kick the door in, she heard a bolt unlock. The crew stepped back and Lionheart emerged being held by A Darker Heart, fear was in Lionheart’s eyes and written on his face. The crew cheered in victory. “Woo, yay, we did it!” FunnyBunny and Kittycat shrieked in high pitched tones, everyone laughed at them.

The plan however was not complete until Lionheart was thrown overboard. Standing on the plank Lionheart looked down into the deep blue waters. “Please have mercy on my pathetic soul.”

DarkFairy and Chicka19 looked at each other, “No.”

As DarkFairy had promised A Darker Heart had the honors of tossing Lionheart off the boat. Lionheart inched away from the edge, so A Darker Heart picked him up and tossed him in.

The newly freed crew ran over to the railing and peered over the edge. Laughter erupted amongst the entire crew. Lionheart was soaked, and attempting to do the doggy paddle to keep up with the boat, he managed to cling to a dangling rope but was to wet to hold his grip, and slipped into the water. The crew satisfied with a job well done, celebrated by making DarkFairy and Chicka19 co-captains. The splashes of Lionheart swimming after the boat could still be heard.

~~~

Later that night Chicka19 and DarkFairy talked.

“You know I think the heat got to us a little too,” said Chicka19 in a sad tone.

“Yeah, I think we got in a little over our heads,” DarkFairy replied as she circled her mug with her finger.

“Should we let him back in the boat and tell him we’re sorry. The heat drives a lot of people crazy.”

“Yeah, we sh-.” But DarkFairy didn’t get to finish her though as the whole crew came into the captain’s quarters. All had grief upon their faces. “Yes, may we help you?”

They pushed Reader’s Voice to the front, he was rubbing his hands. “Well we all feel bad about what we did to Captain Lionheart.” The rubbing of his hands were turning them raw red. Captain Lionheart? Reader’s Voice never said Captain before addressing Lionheart! Reader’s Voice continued, “We all know that Captain Lionheart is crazy, but that’s normal and we love him for that, the heat, well it just made it seem worse, and we all kinda over reacted. We think we should pull Captain Lionheart back up and give him back the title of Captain. If he is still following the boat that is.”

Chicka19 looked at DarkFairy, they sighed. Chicka19 spoke first, “We’ve been thinking the same thing. When we do, pull him up, if he is still out there, then we will take any and all consequences that he throws at us. Agreed?”

Everyone nodded their heads. DarkFairy stood, “Well then let’s go pull out rightful Captain out of those waters!”

~~~

Air wrapped another towel around Captain Lionheart as he warmed himself by the kitchen stove.

“Y-y-you, a-a-all, w-w-will, be severely punished for t-t-treason,” Lionheart stuttered. “Es-especially you two,” Lionheart pointed a white shaking finger at Chicka19 and DarkFairy, their heads hung low.

“We know,” they replied in unison. “But just one thing before you send us into eternal punishment Captain Lionheart,” Chicka19 peeped.

Lionheart looked up, a drop falling from his hair. “And that would be?” He was beginning to warm up.

“We want you to know we still love you.”

Lionheart smiled, and dismissed his crew. Captain Lionheart still had a soft side, he didn’t punish his crew, for deep down he knew he deserved some of what they did.

~~~

WE LOVE YOU LIONHEART!

DarkFairy and Chicka (Mandy)


© Copyright 2017 Booksie Crew. All rights reserved.

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