I. AM. INSANE. I am HELPLESS

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

For you to decide

 

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe In, Breathe out. I’m panicking. My yoga breaths aren’t helping and my meds are all gone. Breathe in- oh who am I kidding? I’m Helpless. I can’t last a day without them can I? I’m helpless. They were the only ones keeping them away. I’m helpless. HE’s back. I can’t even look him in the eyes. I’m still helpless. HELPLESS. HELPLESS. HELPLESS. HELPLESS. HELPLESS. HELPLESS. And that’s never going to change. HELPLESS. “HELPLESS!!” I scream for good measure. Good thing I live alone now or else my Dad would have come running. Now I don’t even have a cat to worry about me. No one to call and check in. Freedom comes with a price doesn’t it. Another thing that makes me helpless. I stare at the wall. Stare at the wall. My one, blank, solid, wall. HE is back again. HE mocks me. “You know I’m here. You can’t ignore me forever.” HE underestimates me. I start rocking back and forth. HE giggles. I still avoid HIS eyes. HIS body. I stare at the wall. I can ignore you forever. I did it for 14 years. I can do it again. But I can’t. HE is in my head. A figment of my imagination. HE does not exist. I. AM. INSANE. THIS. IS. HOW. THIS. WORKS. If you are crazy you see things. I. AM. INSANE. He does not exist. I. AM. INSANE. HE continues to grin, and giggle, and try to force my gaze from the wall. I rock back and forth. I. AM. INSANE.


Submitted: September 04, 2012

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HalfBloodPrinces

Since it's for me to decide...

So the idea here (which is a bit hard to discern as it's all lumped into one paragraph) is that the character stops taking her meds and IMMEDIATELY begins to hallucinate.

Why would she stop taking the meds? She's not insane, she has schizophrenia, which is a disorder. It's not about being crazy, it's not about being nuts. It's about being sick. And sick people take medicine to not be sick.

Which brings me back around. If the meds were working, there's no way she'd want to go off them. I take meds myself, and I rely on those suckers to keep me functioning.

By the way, if this is about you, I highly doubt you're legitimately schizophrenic. If you are, seek help, and take your meds for christ's sake.

-Half Blood Princes

Tue, September 4th, 2012 4:41am

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