My Name Was Casey

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Casey is getting abused by her father Charlie, she writes a poem leading up to her death. See how this was all started

Submitted: August 12, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 12, 2012





Disclaimer: I do not own the poem my name was Lucifer but I did change up the words a bit.

Warning: There are references to rape, abuse and cutting but nothing  to graphic.

Rated T for possible language.

New Year’s Day: I’d just finished my picture and it looks amazing. It was of Nikki, holding a rose which resembles her and Kellan’s arm wrapped around her waist. I miss my big goofy teddy bear Kellan and the beautiful vain Nikki. I definitely miss Ashley she was my best friend after all, I miss Robert we didn’t talk much but he was still like a brother to me. I miss my second set of parents, Peter and Elizabeth were there for me when my own parents weren’t. – “CASEY!” I was pulled out of my thoughts by Charlie yelling at me. That’s all he seems to do lately. Things have gotten worse; we used to be a family. All he does is yell and leave it’s been like that since Ja-he left. Charlie acts like he wants to hit me sometimes and I do believe that he will soon, very soon. I got down the stairs but what Charlie did was shocking he slapped me across the face and with that I immediately fell to the floor.

My name is Casey

I’m eighteen,

Tonight my daddy turned very mean

But how can it be?

I’m not stupid,

I’m not bad

So what have I don’t to make

My daddy so mad?

Valentine’s Day: I hate this holiday…I hate this holiday…I – Charlie barged into my room breaking me from my trance. The first thing I actually noticed was that in his left hand was a beer bottle that seems to be halfway empty. I was terrified of what he might do. “It’s all my fault I’m alone on this holiday and you are going to fix it!” He says before stalking towards me. Next thing I knew was he tied my hands behind my back and made me lay on the bed. Did I mention I really hate this holiday?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Than maybe Jackson

Would still want to love me.

One Month Later:  Since Jackson left me. I don’t really look like me. I lost weight, I’m so much paler. I feel so breakable and useless. Not to mention I’m covered in bruises head to toe. Charlie hits, yells and rapes me every chance he gets, its not like I can tell anyone. Who would ever believe that the good ‘ole chief of police would hit his own daughter.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else I’m locked up

All day long.

Few Days Later: Charlie’s away for a few days, so I’m alone once again. I will not lie, I have thought about killing myself but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I thought about my mother Renee and my best friend Jake. So I’m careful when I cut, not going deep enough for pain just wanting some relief. I was bleeding to take away the pain and the suffering I’ve been through.

Here I am alone at home.

When I’m awake

I’m all alone

The house is dark

My dad’s not home.

Four Days Later: I had done everything Charlie asked me to do. That night for once I felt safe, protected and free… Well until Charlie beat me because I was hiding something from him. He than left for work so I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and I could see the new bruises staring to form.

When my dad does come home

I’ll try and be nice,

So maybe just maybe

I won’t be raped tonight.

Few Weeks Later: Tonight was just awful. Charlie had been drinking at Billy’s Bar once again. I had asked Billy not to give him to much he just never listens. When he got home he slapped me repeatedly and told me I was worthless, he then dragged me up the stairs and into his room. I tried to put up a fight but he just banged my head into something hard. My vision is going in and out, as Charlie tied me to the bed he than taped my mouth shut so no body could hear my cries and pleas for help. This is going to be bad he usually lets me scream I don’t know how I lived. Charlie burned me and cut me and to make it  worse he raped me all day long. He kept me tied to the bed all day while he went fishing with Billy.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Billy’s Bar.

I hear him curse,

My name is called.

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping,

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work

Two Weeks Later: Tonight Charlie was hitting me, I didn’t know what happened but I just snapped. If I fought back I knew it would just get worse but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I kicked, I scratched I did everything I could. I got a second to run away and that’s what I did so I ran to the kitchen of course Charlie followed right after. I grabbed a knife and pointed it at Charlie. “Stay away.” I replied with as much courage as I could come up with. “You wouldn’t hurt your dad would you?” Charlie replied getting closer and closer. I than reached over and cut his leg and ran to the front of the room, I went to open the door but I realized it was locked as always. I heard him come up behind me so as quick as I could I tried to run up the stairs. Charlie reached over and grabbed a fistful of my hair and threw me to the ground. I hit my head and soon blacked out.

He slaps and hits me

And yells some more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

One Month Until Casey’s Birthday:  “you’re a worthless whore…no one even wants you that’s why Jackson left you because your fucking worthless.” Charlie said with as much anger as he could while beating me again and again. This isn’t right who would beat their own daughter, their own flesh and blood? But no, he hit my body and my heart was ripping out of my body with what he has done to me. Charlie growled with anger and at that moment he threw me against the wall and left me on the ground in pain.

I started to ball

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

Three Weeks Until Casey’s Birthday:  When I arrived at my home I thought it would be safe to take a quick nap, wrong. I woke up with Charlie leaning over me fuming. He grabbed my hair dragging me down the stairs yelling how I didn’t have his dinner ready yet as he starts to slap me. I start screaming how I’m sorry but it only makes it worse telling me not to talk back to him.

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoke.

“I’m sorry!” I scream

Two Weeks Until Casey’s Birthday: After I made dinner for Charlie and I, I went straight to bed thinking it would be okay. I thought he wasn’t going to hurt me because I had done everything he asked. But no as soon as I was about to close my eyes he tied a thick rope around my neck. Every time I tried to scream or cry he’d just pull the rope tighter. I couldn’t breathe I blacked out thinking I was going to die. I woke up…guessing I didn’t die. Charlie’s gone again but this time he left me a present. He carved Charlie into my skin on my far to skinny and bruised stomach. It wasn’t bleeding which shocked me, but what I just realized was that no one would want a bruised, battered, scared, dirty and worthless girl like me.

But it’s not much to late

His face has been twisted

Into an unimaginable shape

The hurt the pain

Again and again.

One Week Until Casey’s Birthday: Charlie gave me a little surprise he not only hit me but raped m. what made it worse was he decided to invite some of his drinking buddies over. They tied me to the bed and each took turns raping me, oh what a joy. Notice my sarcasm I hope. I screamed, I cried but no one came to my rescue. The neighbors just turned out the light and pretend they didn’t hear a thing. After they raped me they told Charlie what a good fuck I am. All I can say is I’m all alone.

Oh please god, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

Three Days Until Casey’s Birthday: I was so badly injured from yesterday that Charlie demanded I stay home. Before Charlie leaves for work he slapped me across the face and punched me in the face saying it was a good wake up call. I am not aching more than ever.

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While I lay their motionless

Sprawled out on the floor

Two Nights Before Casey’s Birthday: Charlie once again was yelling and raping me, no surprise there. But tonight it has different reasons One- I only had one page left in my notebook. Two- After he finished raping me he went to the kitchen, I was scared on what he could be getting and what he might do. My question was justified, when he came back up to my room he had a blank look on his face which terrified me. Before I even had the chance to scream or do anything. Charlie stabbed my stomach. He than had the nerve to smile at me and brush the hair out of my face and proceeded to tell me he loved me and that this was what everyone wanted. He tucked me under the covers like he did to me when I was a kid. Everything started fading in and out I know I should be scared about dying but I’m not. I’m relieved. The pain could finally end and no one could hurt me. There was one last thing I had to finish before I die. I have to finish my notebook. With all my strength I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed my notebook and a pen. So I thought why do I need a pen. I’m already bleeding to death…why not go out with a BANG ad write my final words in blood. Wanna know what I think it’ pretty poetic really. The whole writing in blood. I wrote four simple lines.

My name is Casey

I was almost nineteen.

And last night my daddy

Murdered me.

Before I slipped away I felt a pair of cold familiar arms encircle me. At that moment I knew I was okay. With one last thought I think ‘heaven better welcome me.’

I also let out a straggled I love you to the one person who always held my heart and always would.

© Copyright 2020 BornToBeBrave. All rights reserved.

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