Basically i was in a dark time when i wrote this poem. I made a lot of choices that were wrong and nobody was there for me to help me through it.



The silence in the room was deafening

All of my friends are dead to me

I have made my mistakes

But I have found out which of my friends were fakes


I sit in this room with a million thoughts in my mind

How could I have been so blind?

I look outside to try and clear my thoughts

In my stomach lies a million knots


All I have is my little brother

Along with my dad and my own mother

I am starting to feel deathly ill

I just want to lay here, and I want to be still


I am now deaths assistant

I no longer live in your existence

In death I have been enrolled

The barrel to my head was so very cold

Submitted: February 14, 2013

© Copyright 2022 BornToWrite. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:


Bert Broomberg

It really is a dark poem, but that's okay. Perhaps, I have got a useful tip. Using rhyme is great fun, but aa bb cc ee etc. usually doesn't do a lot for a poem that's longer than just a couple of lines. By using another pattern the whole thing becomes more lively. It's just something to think about when writing the next poem. It could be that you don't agree with me at all. Nevertheless, I liked this poem.

Thu, February 14th, 2013 8:16pm

Matthew D. Hay (Tangible Word)

Loved this poem, quite dark and angsty, but I loved it nevertheless xD Excellent rhyme scheme :D AMazing flow :D

Thu, February 14th, 2013 8:47pm


Thank you very much! I'm loving the feedback i get from this site! It helps to get feedback to know what needs to be worked on! :D

Fri, February 15th, 2013 8:05am


I liked the poem but the rhyming was a little off. But I'm not much of a poet, so I can't be telling you what's right and wrong and what not. Poetry doesn't have to rhyme. Yeah, it sounds good when it does, but it doesn't need to to be a poem.
It was a good poem though! :)

Sat, February 16th, 2013 6:47pm


Dark, anger and disappointment could be sense in the emotions of this poem.... Good work!

Tue, February 26th, 2013 3:39pm


Thank you very much! :)

Tue, March 19th, 2013 7:19pm

Facebook Comments

More Thrillers Poems

Boosted Content from Other Authors

Short Story / Historical Fiction

Short Story / Science Fiction

Short Story / Literary Fiction

Other Content by BornToWrite

Poem / Thrillers